I need your help! (not cancer related)

CherieLW
CherieLW Member Posts: 472
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

So as some of you may know... dad's only has one day left of treatment after today.  His birthday is Friday- the day after ending treatment.  He keeps telling me "nah, don't get me nothing...I don't want you to," etc...

I need your help.  I'm having troubles trying to figure out something special he can enjoy right now.  He can't eat- so anything food related is out of the question (I think that was obvious, but in case for those who didn't know yet).  He is so hard to buy for!  I was going to rent a pontoon and take him out bc he loves to fish, but can't really enjoy any of that right now as he is quite uncomfortable and it is so hot/humid here (heat index making it feel like over 100 degrees!) and I know it wouldn't be fun trying to keep out of the sun.  Does anyone have any suggestions? Any ideas?  I know he will be feeling under the weather still for awhile, but did anything help keep your mind off things?

I went over last Saturday and got him watching a funny movie, but I know if I bought him movies he wouldn't watch them without me making him lol.  I just want to get him something special because he means the world to me and I just want to show how appreciative I am to have a father like him. I'm really feeling stuck on what to get him.

One funny thing I got him as kind of a gag is a variety pack of stick on mustaches.  This is the first time I've ever seen my dad without a mustache in 30 years so I just thought he would giggle over it if I could get him to try on a couple (and I'll wear one too!) and take pics! ;)

Seriously though, does anyone have any ideas of things I could get him that he could enjoy now?

Thanks in advance if you have ideas! I'm racking my brain and so far... nothing!

«13

Comments

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #2
    A Few...

    Not sure of all is limitations, but...

    A massage maybe..., or some kind of man spa..., LOL... Though if he's like me, that might not go over well...

    How about a day trip..., some old places that hold special memories for you both.... Always fun to jog down memory lane.

    Visit some family or friends of his that haven't been able to make it around much...

    Just a few to get you started...

    JG

  • jcortney
    jcortney Member Posts: 503
    #3
    Not fun, but useful

    I know when I was at your Dad's point I was doing everything sitting up, especially sleeping.  My wife bought me one of those bed chairs that are soft and comfy while giving the back a ton of support.  Anyway, it really made me comfortable for the weeks when the mucous was really bad and I couldn't lay down.

    Just an idea.

    J.

  • fishmanpa
    fishmanpa Member Posts: 1,227 Member
    #4
    A furry friend?

    During treatment, Marcia and I stayed in Baltimore at Hope Lodge. We were away from home and our cat Socrates all week. we only saw him on the weekends before we had to go back. We missed him and ot was obvious he missed us even though we had someone stay at our place during the week. 

    On the weekends and after I came home, he has been my constant companion and a very soothing influence on me. Maybe a pet to keep him company and bring smiles to his face?

    "T"

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #5
    Skiffin16 said:

    A Few...

    Not sure of all is limitations, but...

    A massage maybe..., or some kind of man spa..., LOL... Though if he's like me, that might not go over well...

    How about a day trip..., some old places that hold special memories for you both.... Always fun to jog down memory lane.

    Visit some family or friends of his that haven't been able to make it around much...

    Just a few to get you started...

    JG

    Thanks John,
    Those are some

    Thanks John,

    Those are some good ideas! Dad's just more or less, resting the majority of the time, but getting some of his friends together may not be a bad idea!

    Cherie :)

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #6
    jcortney said:

    Not fun, but useful

    I know when I was at your Dad's point I was doing everything sitting up, especially sleeping.  My wife bought me one of those bed chairs that are soft and comfy while giving the back a ton of support.  Anyway, it really made me comfortable for the weeks when the mucous was really bad and I couldn't lay down.

    Just an idea.

    J.

    Thanks J! That's a good idea,

    Thanks J! That's a good idea, I'm not sure how long the mucous will keep up though... how long did you battle that? 

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Does he already have a Kindle?

    Mine got zapped at the airport on my trip, so Amazon replaced it with the Kindle 8.9....you can watch movies, read books, watch TV, play games.....all from the comfort of your easy chair on a screen almost the size of an Ipad.  I got the $35 bluetooth keyboard to go with it, and little earbuds, too, so I can do anything I want wherever I sit.

    How does he feel about a pet?  I got Lola when I still had 6 weeks of treatment.  Lots of older pets in the shelter who are over their baby stages need homes....and they really DO offer comfort.....plus it's a chance to do something for another creature on a daily basis....feed and water....go for a little walk and get out of the house.

    p

     

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #8
    fishmanpa said:

    A furry friend?

    During treatment, Marcia and I stayed in Baltimore at Hope Lodge. We were away from home and our cat Socrates all week. we only saw him on the weekends before we had to go back. We missed him and ot was obvious he missed us even though we had someone stay at our place during the week. 

    On the weekends and after I came home, he has been my constant companion and a very soothing influence on me. Maybe a pet to keep him company and bring smiles to his face?

    "T"

    T,
    That's a great idea! I

    T,

    That's a great idea! I just don't know how thrilled dad would be if I surprised him with somethign like that LOL.  Esp, with getting new carpets in the new house and getting ready to move soon.  He may kill me! haha jk

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #9
    phrannie51 said:

    Does he already have a Kindle?

    Mine got zapped at the airport on my trip, so Amazon replaced it with the Kindle 8.9....you can watch movies, read books, watch TV, play games.....all from the comfort of your easy chair on a screen almost the size of an Ipad.  I got the $35 bluetooth keyboard to go with it, and little earbuds, too, so I can do anything I want wherever I sit.

    How does he feel about a pet?  I got Lola when I still had 6 weeks of treatment.  Lots of older pets in the shelter who are over their baby stages need homes....and they really DO offer comfort.....plus it's a chance to do something for another creature on a daily basis....feed and water....go for a little walk and get out of the house.

    p

     

    Phrannie,
    Just another reason

    Phrannie,

    Just another reason he's soo difficult to buy for... although that's another great idea, I just don't think dad would use it. I thought about a tablet, but he just isn't into it. 

    Pets would be a great idea, but since his dog of 16+ years passed not too long ago and they are moving into a new house with new carpets soon- not sure he would be crazy about me surprising him with that. 

    Thanks for all the ideas everyone! I'm racking my brain still...

    He really enjoys fishing, but he has a million diff types of lures and things. At the new place he has a small pond... Any ideas fishermen of something I can get besides lures? I wouldn't even know where to start although I love fishing with him!

    Thanks again,

    Cherie

    p.s. Us women aren't nearly as difficult! Someone could buy me some nail polish and I'd be tickled!

  • CajunEagle
    CajunEagle Member Posts: 408
    #10
    CherieLW said:

    Phrannie,
    Just another reason

    Phrannie,

    Just another reason he's soo difficult to buy for... although that's another great idea, I just don't think dad would use it. I thought about a tablet, but he just isn't into it. 

    Pets would be a great idea, but since his dog of 16+ years passed not too long ago and they are moving into a new house with new carpets soon- not sure he would be crazy about me surprising him with that. 

    Thanks for all the ideas everyone! I'm racking my brain still...

    He really enjoys fishing, but he has a million diff types of lures and things. At the new place he has a small pond... Any ideas fishermen of something I can get besides lures? I wouldn't even know where to start although I love fishing with him!

    Thanks again,

    Cherie

    p.s. Us women aren't nearly as difficult! Someone could buy me some nail polish and I'd be tickled!

    All I can say is....

     

    you, dear, are one heck of a great daughter.  I'm not much help, but I'm always needing an up-graded tackle box.  Dependent on what I'm fishing for, small tackle boxes are so handy.  He may care for this.  Bless you, Kiddo.

    Larry

  • zaac23
    zaac23 Member Posts: 27
    #11
    sounds like you are doing
    sounds like you are doing what i thought was wonderful. giving of your time and love and making him feel he has a friend. I think having friends or relatives over to talk to would be a great idea as he might share more with them than you. keep him a little busy(what he can stand).some people shy away from cancer for many reasons ,try and reassure them he is ok and would love to see them
  • fishmanpa
    fishmanpa Member Posts: 1,227 Member
    #12
    One More Suggestion

    It may not be in time for his birthday but Marcia had a custom coffee mug made with a cool image of a medal and the word "Champion" on it for getting through the treatment. I drink my coffee from it every day :) It really has a special meaning. 

    "T"

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #13
    zaac23 said:

    sounds like you are doing
    sounds like you are doing what i thought was wonderful. giving of your time and love and making him feel he has a friend. I think having friends or relatives over to talk to would be a great idea as he might share more with them than you. keep him a little busy(what he can stand).some people shy away from cancer for many reasons ,try and reassure them he is ok and would love to see them

    make it a grill out n the

    make it a grill out n the back yard if hes up 2 it.  that would be fun.  let us know what u decide.

    dj

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #14
    fishmanpa said:

    One More Suggestion

    It may not be in time for his birthday but Marcia had a custom coffee mug made with a cool image of a medal and the word "Champion" on it for getting through the treatment. I drink my coffee from it every day :) It really has a special meaning. 

    "T"

    great idea, t!
    dj

    great idea, t!

    dj

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #15
    CajunEagle said:

    All I can say is....

     

    you, dear, are one heck of a great daughter.  I'm not much help, but I'm always needing an up-graded tackle box.  Dependent on what I'm fishing for, small tackle boxes are so handy.  He may care for this.  Bless you, Kiddo.

    Larry

    Thanks!

    Awww thanks Larry! What can I say? Mom and Dad raised me right :) He loves fishing... I was looking at stuff online and since he isn't supposed to be in the sun... I actually am thinking about getting him one of those chairs  with a canopy type thing.  We shall see! Unless you all give me better ideas lol.

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #16
    debbiejeanne said:

    make it a grill out n the

    make it a grill out n the back yard if hes up 2 it.  that would be fun.  let us know what u decide.

    dj

    Debbie,
    I wish, but he can't

    Debbie,

    I wish, but he can't eat :(  I bought him and mom a new grill last year but... that's out of the question.  thanks for the suggestions though!  I'll keep you all posted! :)

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #17
    fishmanpa said:

    One More Suggestion

    It may not be in time for his birthday but Marcia had a custom coffee mug made with a cool image of a medal and the word "Champion" on it for getting through the treatment. I drink my coffee from it every day :) It really has a special meaning. 

    "T"

    T,
    That's a great idea!  Dad

    T,

    That's a great idea!  Dad would probably use something like that too since he is quite the coffee drinker!  Do you know where she did this? 

     

    I thought about getting him one of those mugs with the mustache on it. Lol, I can't wait til he gets his famous tache' back!

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #18
    CherieLW said:

    Debbie,
    I wish, but he can't

    Debbie,

    I wish, but he can't eat :(  I bought him and mom a new grill last year but... that's out of the question.  thanks for the suggestions though!  I'll keep you all posted! :)

    cherie, i forgot.  i'm so

    cherie, i forgot.  i'm so sorry.  Cry 

    dj

  • KTeacher
    KTeacher Member Posts: 1,103 Member
    #19
    SPF

    Hopefully he will be able to go out fishing, how about SPF shirt and hat.  Sports Authority as well as on line places.  I don't know about others but winter was so cold, hard on me.  A gaitor (neck wrap) and or ear muffs, gloves.  I lost so much weight this time and sizes.  This sounds silly, but I didn't feel like going out and shopping, comfortable outfit or even p.j.'s that fit and underwear (I couldn't believe it would be so hard to find undies in my new size).

    I also vote for the chair pillow and a massage sounds so good.

  • KTeacher
    KTeacher Member Posts: 1,103 Member
    #20
    CherieLW said:

    Thanks!

    Awww thanks Larry! What can I say? Mom and Dad raised me right :) He loves fishing... I was looking at stuff online and since he isn't supposed to be in the sun... I actually am thinking about getting him one of those chairs  with a canopy type thing.  We shall see! Unless you all give me better ideas lol.

    Chair

    I love my chair with the shade.  Shade moves so I think that he can cast and then put the shade where he needs it.  Lots of pockets for 'stuff' (water, SPF, bug spray, lip stuff. kleenex . . .)

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #21
    KTeacher said:

    SPF

    Hopefully he will be able to go out fishing, how about SPF shirt and hat.  Sports Authority as well as on line places.  I don't know about others but winter was so cold, hard on me.  A gaitor (neck wrap) and or ear muffs, gloves.  I lost so much weight this time and sizes.  This sounds silly, but I didn't feel like going out and shopping, comfortable outfit or even p.j.'s that fit and underwear (I couldn't believe it would be so hard to find undies in my new size).

    I also vote for the chair pillow and a massage sounds so good.

    SPF

    I was just thinking how great an SPF hat would be and you beat me to the post :-) Not only could it be worn for fishing but any outdoor event. I have one that is SPF 50 and rolls up for travel. I think they make them for men with a flap to cover the neck too. My radiologist said to be extra careful in the sun for the first year so your Dad would get some use from it and it shows that you put allot of thought into it.

    Having a daughter like you is quite a gift in itself!

    If your Dad is like the rest of us, he won't be going anywhere for awhile without a water bottle. Maybe a special one with his favorite sport team or Bass Pro logo. My fav is a simple Rubbermaid one that I got at the grocery store.

    Candi

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