Scanxiety Summer 2013, or I know something is wrong!

I am not sure why but this was a tough scan for me.  I had a great deal more anxiety then before surgery or any prior scan. I think it might be attributable to either global warming or the New York Mets   It all worked out although I will be going to a cardiologist since the radiologist was very thoughtful in pointing out cornery artery calsifications.  

dhs1963 said:

Can't Be the NY METS

You had no expectations on the year.  Down south, my anxiety is on a team that was nearly certain to win the NL East...

My, how we all differ!!

The best news I've had today is that the Hospital has managed to arrange for me to have a CT with contrast tomorrow morning.   So, it's no breakfast for me, just do my daily injection into my stomach, go in to the Hospital and guzzle pints of water then wait for my turn in the tunnel and that lovely warm glow of the dye!  I enjoy the sense of occasion, at a scan, just like a trip to the dentist  [I know - I should get out more, but it's too darned hot here ].  From there, I have to dash to my Practice for my weekly bloods and arrange consultations with my GP and my Oncologist.

Like Fox, I'm always wanting to know as much as possible, as soon as possible, to know what I'm dealing with so that I can get on with it.  Last time revealed a pulmonary embolus we hadn't known about (hence the stomach injections for the duration - my duration, that is).   That was an unwelcome slap but, on the other hand we confirmed that, at 70, apart from one tiny fleck, I have no trace of calcification in any of my arteries.

Tomorrow's is a big one, since I'll have been off Votrient for five weeks odd, so I'm wanting to know whether I've been losing ground or had continuing stability.  Forewarned is forearmed and the sooner I know the better.  So, my advice to anyone looking to have a scan is nicely captured in the good old Scottish exhortation :

DINNA FASH YERSEL!

MDCinSC said:

If I remember, its akin to

If I remember, its akin to "Don't worry, be happy" no?

Show em what you're made of Wedge!

A' th' best tae ye

Michael

 

I'll admit that the pre IL-2 testing had me just a little anxious. Only in the sense that I did not want to not pass. But alas, all was well. Like you Tex, My cardiac stress was better than good. They actually wrote "excellent" in the report.  Good luck tomorrow with your scans. DHS and Don, keep the faith. Remember, worrying is time spent that you can never get back.

dhs1963 said:

For me, it is not the results...it is the waiting

I can deal with what ever I hear.  That will not be a problem.  The thing is, my strategy for dealing with the cancer is to define my time line based on scans, or living scan to scan.  (SCN 2 SCN might be my new license plate).  That sounds great three months out, but one of the side effects is I only plan my life out to the scans.  So, Tues and Wed are scans; I get the results on Wed at clinic.  Then, I can plan a vacation for August, or I can get treatment.  I am not sure & I would like to know. 

What cancer taught me is how to live with uncertainty.

What this site taught me is, no matter how bad things are, they could be worse.  At least I do not have to click on the first cancer in the alphabetical list.  That would be a pain in the tuchas.

DHS, you are getting the pain at 7 pm? Does it seem to man after you eat dinner? Hmmmm, maybe you have acid reflux which can have some of the same sypmtoms, then there is gas too!  I bet the scans are just fine!  You and TW will do great!  That is my story and I am sticking to it!!  Do some deep breathing for five minutes a day.  You cover one nostril with your thumb and breath in and out then the other side with your fingers and breath in and out... there, that will make you feel better!  

Praying for you guys!!

DonMiller said:

Scanxiety Summer 2013, or I know something is wrong!

Texas_Wedge.

Actually I just don't know if I have the courage of you & Fox and some of the other guys on the Board.  You all have been a great help to me.  Despite the fact that I never really took care of myself, I never even had a sick day in 30 years.  Outside of this group I act fearlessly but the truth is far from that.  I am at high risk of reoccurrence and when my time comes I hope I can face it down but I am not sure and this worries me.

Don,

If/when the time comes you'll be surprised by how much courage you can muster when the survival instinct takes over, you must learn to trust that it will be there if ever needed.  Fox always says "time spent worrying is time you'll never get back".  My father's best friend had a love for life that was perhaps greater trhan anyone else that I have ever known.  I asked him once what his secret was.  He said "Most people say their prayers at night, I save mine for the morning.  Every morning when my feet hit the floor I thank God for another day and promise Him to live it like its my last, then I set about to do just that, I have no regrets when my head hits the pillow.", he passed peacfully in his sleep.  Cherish each day for the gift that it is, spend time on that which is within your control, stay vigilent and be prepared to attack with extreme prejudice if ever necessary, the odds are it won't be RCC that gets you.

Hang in there,

Gary

MDCinSC said:

Living, at least my thoughts!

Don, I couldn't agree with Gary more!  I determined a long time ago that I will take a quality of life that is the best I can make of it, as opposed to a quantity of life, lived questioning about next week or next month and what it will bring.

Every moment spent worrying only weakens your defenses and sucking the joy out of what you do have.

As for me, I want to live it, not count it!

Peace my friend!

Michael

Don, if  you try to think that the surgery was the worst part, maybe that will help...    Yes, I too can be a bit scared of the future... but then I am trying real hard to focus in on only positive things in my life... It helps sometimes..  Hang in there..!!

Be Well All..!!!

Ron

GSRon said:

nah

Don, if  you try to think that the surgery was the worst part, maybe that will help...    Yes, I too can be a bit scared of the future... but then I am trying real hard to focus in on only positive things in my life... It helps sometimes..  Hang in there..!!

Be Well All..!!!

Ron

Personally, I have a love/hate relationship with scans.  I can't wait to have it so I can get the all clear and not worry for a few months.  At the same time I dread that I might get bad news, so as is usually the case, I can't make a decision how to feel.  

Tex,

I can also relate to the excitement about getting contrast.  When I got the word from my doc that I could have contrast, I wanted to sing Hallelujah.  It's hard to trust the non-contrast scans.  You can't help but wonder if something isn't hiding.  I sure hope all goes well for you.  Be sue to let us know or update you blog.

Right now I have a different kind of scanxiety.  I was due for scans this week and find out my insurance company won't pay for all 3 three, only the abdomen, so I'm having can't-have-a-scanxiety.  I hated feeling like I was having to beg for contrast and now I'm having to beg to have the scans at all. I haven't given up yet.  Still working on it.

On a side note, this site is really slow lately!

Take care all,

Kathy

Texas_wedge said:

If I remember

Michael, not bad for a NM denizen, albeit a NC transplant!

My Wife said I was burning up so I dug out a couple of thermometers, which agreed that, though I might be feverish, my body temp. is 36.6 C. [This is OK, though a little high for my species.]  While re-reading the pamphlet for the electronic thermometer, which said that it can be used rectally  (no thanks!!), I was reminded of the apocryphal Glasgow story.  Your ear for the accent will enable you to appreciate it:

Scruff enters pharmacy in the salubrious part of town (Glasgow does have, believe it or not) ;

- May I help you, sir?

- I think I need a, er .....  de-odorant?

- Phew, you're right on that (under the breath) Certainly, sir, ball or aerosol type?

- Well, ectually (you supercilious ****!) it's for under my arms.

Love it Wedge!  I can virtually hear the inflections! LOL

In my years as an actor (and thats quite a few!), I took dialect training courses, Scottish is one I truly loved to work with! 

Ah, to tred the boards again!  One day perhaps.

NewDay said:

Good news

Good news!  My doc tried again and won the scan battle with the insurance company so it's all three scans for me tomorrow and with contrast!  I can't wait to get this done and rest easy for a while.

Well, you know what I mean! 

That is great news!  Rock on tomorrow!  I'm pulling for you!  For what THATS worth!

Michael

You have all really helped me with the above commetns.  I also have scans coming up next Saturday and am really anxious this time around.  I am about 22 month post surgery and, like Don, my stage and grade make me a likely candidate for something else.  Thanks for being such great friends and sharing your wisdom.

John