Today's News (not about me)

Laralyn
Laralyn Member Posts: 532
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I struggled for a while with the subject for this post since I didn't want anyone to think it was about me. My dad called today to say that my mom collapsed and is in the hospital. They thought it was a stroke at first but it's actually a brain tumor. They can't do a biopsy for a couple days until the swelling goes down-- they're giving her medication for that now.

I bought a plane ticket for tomorrow morning, then my dad called back to say my mom woke up and said I shouldn't come until they know more. I have to respect her request because when I was going through treatments, my parents wanted to come but I said no. I knew the treatments wouldn't kill me and I didn't want to see anyone when I was so sick. So I'll keep the phone handy and think positive thoughts. Once they can do a biopsy and we have a diagnosis, I'll research the best cancer hospital in St. Louis (Barnes, already looked) and clinical studies.

i know enough from my research woes to not jump to conclusions. It could be benign or very slow growing. But it's another reminder for me about the need for us to understand and conquer this disease. I confess that the news today brought back the fear and dread, especially knowing I go back in a month to have the hot spot on my PET re-examined.

So here I am, asking my fellow warriors for a thought tonight for my mom, and ultimately for all of us.

Comments

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #2
    for Mom

    Laralyn,

    I am very sorry to hear about your Mom. I respect your decisions to do what is best for your parents, so many of my siblings continue to go the wrong way.

    It is nice that you chose to do some research for them, as their plates are full.

    Good thoughts and prayers,

    Matt

  • Hondo
    Hondo Member Posts: 6,636 Member
    #3
    Hi Laralyn

     

    As you know it’s a heavy load just trying to keep things in order dealing with you own C and now your Mom. I do agree if she request you wait that is the right thing to do; but it’s hard because on the inside you just want to be there to give her comfort and reassurance that you love her. I lost my mom to colon cancer; but before she passed away she came and spent some time with us and the kids. Wow that was the best time in my hold life that I can remember Mom. She never wanted to be a burden on any of us with her cancer so she never told us anything except when it was chemo time. I don’t believe there is a right or wrong thing right now to do, it’s just a sit back and wait for her biopsy results. Then be strong for her while you deal with your own results in a month or so. Sometimes all we can do is to put things into Gods hand and ask for the strenght to bare them. I will keep you both in my prayer

     

     

    God Bless

    Tim Hondo

  • Duggie88
    Duggie88 Member Posts: 760 Member
    #4
    Laralyn

    Sorry to hear about your Mother. You have a great mindset in respecting her wishes and doing some homework.

    T's and P's for Mom

          Jeff

  • Ingrid K
    Ingrid K Member Posts: 813
    #5
    for Mom

    Sending prayers for Mom (and you and Dad as well).

    Hoping for a clear biopsy and that this turns out to be not much of anything to cause worry.

    In the meantime, stay strong and support her from afar.

     

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #6
    Absolutely...

    Your mother is in my thoughts and prayers....

    I even have enough to include you, your father, and family....

    Prayers,

    John

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Sending positive thoughts from here

    too, Laralyn....it's scary when our parent's health is threatened....doesn't matter how old we are, or how intellectually aware we are of their age....there's still a kid inside all of us.  Keep us updated.

    p

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #8
    phrannie51 said:

    Sending positive thoughts from here

    too, Laralyn....it's scary when our parent's health is threatened....doesn't matter how old we are, or how intellectually aware we are of their age....there's still a kid inside all of us.  Keep us updated.

    p

    Laralyn

    Certainly, I will include your Mother in my prayers. I had my surgery at "Big" Barnes.  Hopefully, won't be needed but if rads or chemo are called for, I would definitely recommend  one of their satellite facilities...West County or the brand new one in South County. I will also share with you that my Mom had a brain aneurysm rupture about 25 years ago and went to St Lukes, here in STL. We had little hope and they did an awesome job (Mom is now 87). We slept in the waiting room for a week and I recall a young man that had come from down south because he had exhausted all efforts to rid himself of an inoperable brain tumor. His only option had been a pioneer program at St Lukes with some nuclear tubes or something. Anyway, he was there for a check-up and the tumor was gone. St Lukes is normally my hospital of choice but I wouldn't have thought of them as being such experts in that field.  Once your Mom has her dx, you may want to research St Lukes as well. 

    Candi

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #9
    prayers added !

    Laralyn,

    Wow...this is scarey news to receive.  Know my thoughts are with you and your family.  Hugs sent !  Katie

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #10
    laralyn, ur post is so weied

    laralyn, ur post is so weied because i was gonna post about my sister (55 yrs old) but also struggled.  we found out yesterday she had an brain anurisim (also type of stroke) and it ruptured.  they did a procedure on her today which caused it to ruputre again.  she is in nureo icu where she will be b the next 14 days.  like u, i'm worried sick.  she was very groggy from the procedure today so we left the hospital so she could rest (as much as docs w/let her, they check her alertness every hour) but all i can think is i need 2 b at the hospital.  i hate the thought of her being alone up there when she's so sick.  i know it must b hard for u 2 stay home and i give u credit 4 being so strong for ur mom.  i'm very sorry 2 hear about ur mom.  i will b praying that its not cancer.  i had a brain tumor 15 years ago and it was not cancer so there is room for hope.  i will certainly b praying 4 u and ur family.  i hope time to the biopsy goes quickly.  let us know how she is doing.

    friends, when u say a prayer for laralyn's mom, please say one for my baby sister, pam, too.  thank u in advance.

    dj

  • Laralyn
    Laralyn Member Posts: 532
    #11
    My dad called this afternoon

    My dad called this afternoon with bad news. Although the swelling is down and she's feeling much better, scans showed a mass in my mom's lungs so this is almost certainly metastasis of lung cancer. We'll get more information over the next few days, but I have a pretty good idea already of what this means because I did some pretty extensive studying before and during my own treatments.

    I've separated out the intense personal fear that comes up any time cancer strikes close to me. I know everyone here understands. It's probably closely related to PTSD, honestly.

    Once I set myself aside, I started to feel a little better. My fight against cancer is the fight to still be here today. That means I'm still here for sunshine and the smell of flowers, and I'm still here for all the rest that life entails. I got to see two very good friends get married last month, and now I'm here for this part of life too. 

    Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts, everyone. It makes a big difference. :-)

  • CherieLW
    CherieLW Member Posts: 472
    #12
    Prayers for your mom

    Laralyn,

    Praying for your mom and hoping that this isn't cancerous.  Sending positive vibes your way... I can imagine the dread you feel, but just try to hang in there as best as you can until they give a proper diagnosis.  I know it's hard...

    Thinking of you all,

    Cherie

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #13
    Laralyn said:

    My dad called this afternoon

    My dad called this afternoon with bad news. Although the swelling is down and she's feeling much better, scans showed a mass in my mom's lungs so this is almost certainly metastasis of lung cancer. We'll get more information over the next few days, but I have a pretty good idea already of what this means because I did some pretty extensive studying before and during my own treatments.

    I've separated out the intense personal fear that comes up any time cancer strikes close to me. I know everyone here understands. It's probably closely related to PTSD, honestly.

    Once I set myself aside, I started to feel a little better. My fight against cancer is the fight to still be here today. That means I'm still here for sunshine and the smell of flowers, and I'm still here for all the rest that life entails. I got to see two very good friends get married last month, and now I'm here for this part of life too. 

    Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts, everyone. It makes a big difference. :-)

    laralyn, it never seems 2

    laralyn, it never seems 2 stop.  i'm saying an extra prayer for ur mom.  i'll also keep my fingers crossed.  so sorry to hear this.

    dj

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #14
    CherieLW said:

    Prayers for your mom

    Laralyn,

    Praying for your mom and hoping that this isn't cancerous.  Sending positive vibes your way... I can imagine the dread you feel, but just try to hang in there as best as you can until they give a proper diagnosis.  I know it's hard...

    Thinking of you all,

    Cherie

    prayers

    Prayers for your Mom and DJ's sister. Life is just so damn unfair at times. 

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #15
    hwt said:

    prayers

    Prayers for your Mom and DJ's sister. Life is just so damn unfair at times. 

    thank you hwt, i appreciate

    thank you hwt, i appreciate your prayers more then i can say.  she is not do'n well today.  i hate seeing her in critial condition so i'm really hoping the prayers help.  thanks again.

    dj

  • TracyLynn72
    TracyLynn72 Member Posts: 839
    #16
    Laralyn said:

    My dad called this afternoon

    My dad called this afternoon with bad news. Although the swelling is down and she's feeling much better, scans showed a mass in my mom's lungs so this is almost certainly metastasis of lung cancer. We'll get more information over the next few days, but I have a pretty good idea already of what this means because I did some pretty extensive studying before and during my own treatments.

    I've separated out the intense personal fear that comes up any time cancer strikes close to me. I know everyone here understands. It's probably closely related to PTSD, honestly.

    Once I set myself aside, I started to feel a little better. My fight against cancer is the fight to still be here today. That means I'm still here for sunshine and the smell of flowers, and I'm still here for all the rest that life entails. I got to see two very good friends get married last month, and now I'm here for this part of life too. 

    Thanks for all the kind words and thoughts, everyone. It makes a big difference. :-)

    Prayers

    for your mom, dad and YOU! 

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