TOLD

Dad'sfight
Dad'sfight Member Posts: 155
in Esophageal Cancer #1
Told today that they believe Dad has bone cancer. We went to ortho today for what I thought was tear in ham or quad. Actually dad broke his hip and xray showed lesion and leasipn probably cancer. Stat pet tommorrow and results with oncolgist tommorrow. I guess this answers my question about post op chemo. Chances dont seem promising. Roller coaster cant begin to describe any of our lives. Maybe theyre assuming the worst, will find out. Right noe im just so angry!!! I cant stop crying, so I finally went to Dad with tears and all because I want him to knoe.that no matter what we will be alright. I told him that if he wants to not do chemo we support that decision. Everyonr says to be strong and hide the tears. But to be honest ive been crying in my closet since sept. and it hasnt made a difference. He shed some tears with me and hugged like never before. To think my future children might never meet or knowhow great of a man he wasbreaks my heart. Im just plain wiped out, emotionally and physically.

Comments

  • Christine135
    Christine135 Member Posts: 71
    #2
    Nothing wrong with crying

    I have cried with my husband many times over his cancer and he always has said that he was thankful for not being strong all the time for him and that he needed to cry with me. Showing emotions during this difficult time is important not only for you but for your loved one. It shows that you are human, that yes it hurts like hell but it also shows them that no matter how painful it is to watch, they also realize that you will be there for them and stay with them through thick and thin. My husband has said that it means the world to him to know that despite the pain I am going through watching him suffer, he understands that I will never leave him just because he is sick and that is important for them to know.

    Please keep us posted as things go along and you are in my thoughts and prayers. It is really ok not to be strong all the time. One thing I have learned through all this..I don't listen to how people think I should act around my husband, I listen to myself and when I need to cry, I cry with him..believe it or not, these moments have created a strong bond between he and I and I honestly believe by me being human and showing emotions allows him to show his true emotions. Think of this way..if you act strong all the time people around you will act strong too even when they are hurting and that is not good for those who suffer from this horrible disease or any other disease to feel they can not show emotions around people. I believe in the power of emotion which brings on the power of love!!  

  • callerid
    callerid Member Posts: 96
    #3
    Christine135 said:

    Nothing wrong with crying

    I have cried with my husband many times over his cancer and he always has said that he was thankful for not being strong all the time for him and that he needed to cry with me. Showing emotions during this difficult time is important not only for you but for your loved one. It shows that you are human, that yes it hurts like hell but it also shows them that no matter how painful it is to watch, they also realize that you will be there for them and stay with them through thick and thin. My husband has said that it means the world to him to know that despite the pain I am going through watching him suffer, he understands that I will never leave him just because he is sick and that is important for them to know.

    Please keep us posted as things go along and you are in my thoughts and prayers. It is really ok not to be strong all the time. One thing I have learned through all this..I don't listen to how people think I should act around my husband, I listen to myself and when I need to cry, I cry with him..believe it or not, these moments have created a strong bond between he and I and I honestly believe by me being human and showing emotions allows him to show his true emotions. Think of this way..if you act strong all the time people around you will act strong too even when they are hurting and that is not good for those who suffer from this horrible disease or any other disease to feel they can not show emotions around people. I believe in the power of emotion which brings on the power of love!!  

    Once Again

    Once again you know exactly what to say. You always seem to respond to others needs.

    Thamks

  • Christine135
    Christine135 Member Posts: 71
    #4
    callerid said:

    Once Again

    Once again you know exactly what to say. You always seem to respond to others needs.

    Thamks

    Thank you

    Thank you for the kind words callerid. My husband is my 5th cancer merry-go-round as I call it and I have learned that being strong only goes so far and that it is ok to cry or show what ever emotion may hit you at the moment as it is part of the coping process we all must find our way through. I feel showing emotion as a care giver is also important for my husband for it shows him I am comfortable crying in front of him which makes him comfortable crying in front of me and he needs to release his emotions as well. It just sends a strong message to that person who not only has to deal with this horrible disease but also ha to watch their love ones hurt. Talk about a double whammy. As my husband said last night as we had a moment of crying, he said that me crying with him gave him "permission" to do the same and not hold everything iand pretend to be strong when he does not feel like it.   

  • LauraandLarry
    LauraandLarry Member Posts: 184
    #5
    If I could hug you I would

    I am so very very sorry. You and your family seem as if you have very strong bonds. Your dad will make it, you have to believe that. I know this really stinks. Hang in there. Cry, scream, kick, yell....pray. I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Never say never.

  • Dad'sfight
    Dad'sfight Member Posts: 155
    #6
    LauraandLarry said:

    If I could hug you I would

    I am so very very sorry. You and your family seem as if you have very strong bonds. Your dad will make it, you have to believe that. I know this really stinks. Hang in there. Cry, scream, kick, yell....pray. I will be praying for you. Please keep us posted. Never say never.

    Thanks for all your kind
    Thanks for all your kind words. I feel better that you all say its ok to cry. I have no words to decribe how I feel. I hope we have years not months. My heart goes out to you all also. All of pur lives have been afected. Christine and Laura I hope I can stay as strong as you have. For awhile I felt guilty about posting good news because everyone still was struggling. I thought we had turned the corner, wishful thinking. God bless you all!!
  • Christine135
    Christine135 Member Posts: 71
    #7
    Dad'sfight said:

    Thanks for all your kind
    Thanks for all your kind words. I feel better that you all say its ok to cry. I have no words to decribe how I feel. I hope we have years not months. My heart goes out to you all also. All of pur lives have been afected. Christine and Laura I hope I can stay as strong as you have. For awhile I felt guilty about posting good news because everyone still was struggling. I thought we had turned the corner, wishful thinking. God bless you all!!

    You find the way to stay strong

    Somehow someway you will find the strength you need to do what must be done. People will ask how you do it and chances are you will have no answer. I know I don't when I am asked. I find the I lie in bed at night and wonder myself how I got through the day and how I will get through the next but each day, I get through. It really is ok to cry not only for what this horrible disease is doing to your Dad but what it is doing to you and the rest of your loved ones. It is ok to cry for yourself as it truly is a great release and one that is needed. I think we find the strength because of the love, the love we have for the person we must stand by and watch fight with all they have and if you take a minute to think about this, I think this is where I find the answer to how I find the strength..and that question is.."Where else would I want to be?" and I am always brought back to the same answer.There is no other place I would rather be than right beside my husband.

    Hang in there and we are all here for you when you need us. Hugs and prayers to you, your dad and your entire family.

    Christine   

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