It has been a very long time!

Ok, so it has been a very long time since I posted on here.  Most of the people that were on here when I first joined have since pasted away.  Just a little history - my husband was diagnosed in 2008 at that age of 46 with stage 4 colon cancer with mets to his lungs and liver.  He had the "bad" part of his colon removed and six months later started aggressive chemo.  While on this aggressive chemo, he continued to work 60 to 70 hours a week (mind you it was at home).  So, since then he has undergone every chemo there was for his condition, being on each one until it stopped working, and here we are 5 years later and he is on the last chemo they have to offer him "Stivarga".  This med has a myriad of side effects from hand and foot syndrome to sores everywhere, to voice hoarseness.  The first week on the med he developed hand & foot syndrome so badly he was unable to touch anything or even walk.  I would have to get up in the morning, help him to the bathroom, get him showered and dressed, before I could even get myself ready for work.  Eventually, he figured out that if he stood on pillows - yes I said pillows, he could shuffle along the floor to get where he needed to go.  He would be on this med for 2 weeks (he should have been on for 3 and week off, then start over again) then the doctor took him off until his symptoms cleared up.  Next time on the meds, he only had one sore foot and one hand all on the left side, but I had noticed that his voice was hoarse.  He was on this time for 2 weeks again and off for a week. We travelled to Cape Cod for a wedding on the beach and he did well, side effects were all gone, except for the hoarseness.  He started his meds when we got back, this was last week.  So far he is doing well with the hands and feet, but now his voice is so hoarse that he can only talk in a whisper and his coughing all the time.  The doctor has sent him for a chest x-ray - still waiting on the results of that and now wants him to go to an ENT to see what is going on.  He suggested that it could be paralyzed vocal cord, or a tumor on his vocal cord.  Now I want to know, how do you develop a tumor when your body is full of chemo drugs?  On top of all this crap, I now have this "potential new tumor" to worry about.  My husband and I did not find each other until we were in our 30's, both on our second marriages.  We are so perfect for each other, and I just can't imagine not having him around.

I’m sorry for rambling on, sometimes reality catches up with me and rolls me over and holds me down until I admit what is going on.  Then I can move along until the next time reality rears its ugly head.

Sandi