From NED to terminal in one evening

Steve,

I am elated to see you satisfied with the tough decisions you have had to make.  I am saddened more than I have been for some time on hearing about the ones you will have to be making now.  I had a sacral dx and it scared me senseless.  My dx turned out to be something else - you have had to deal with it 2X.  I can not imagine what you are going through.  I am glad you have quite a family for support.  You remain my roll model for how to deal with cancer no matter what happens or when.  Your courage and resolve are inspiring.  Thank you.

peace,

Rick

My new battle cry - "Regrets have no place here!"

Steve,

I am so sorry to hear this news.  You are an incredibly brave man and I know you love your family so much and have taken all steps to be with them.  I pray that the docs can give you some reprieve and you can have some more great times with your family.  You will remain in my prayers.

Aloha,

Kathleen

Hard news to hear! So many of us followed your story of how you went to such lengths to get rid of the cancer. So many people pulling for you.

Cancer is so grossly unfair.

Steve, may your days be full of happiness, peace , family, friends and perhaps another wine-soaked lunch.

Your Friend in California,

Tommycat

tachilders said:

So sorry to read this.  You

So sorry to read this.  You have my hopes, prayers, and condolences.  I know that someday (hell, it could be tomorrow) that I will likely get this same news, and I freaking HATE that this has to happen to anyone.  Your attitude appears to still be fantastic, and you have shown great strength and resolve so far in your fight against this horrible disease.  Best of luck with whatever you decide to do in the future (more treatment or not).  I wish I could say more or be more helpful, but I really don't have words to express how sad I am to read this type of news (and Joe's post as well).  My Wednesday has really taken a turn for the worse.  To be perfectly honest, I have been kind of avoiding the forum recently, specifically for this reason, as it makes me very sad and emotional to read about members here getting bad news or passing away.  May likely not visit again until after my CT scans, but will update after that as some here are interested in how the German therapies worked (or didn't) for me.

Tedd

I am saddened by your post Steve. You are brave and I am happy you are wth your family and you will have more time to do things with them. Since I've had a brain tumor and sirspheres treatment for my liver I keep wondering what next. It is so hard to live with cancer and how it can force our time constraints with family, work and doing whatever else we desire. It is the quality of our time and relationships but it is still hard to balance and find absolute closure. You are in my prayers and I cant believe god willed this on anyof us. Its truly the people on these boards that understand the emotionsal process and reloading we have to do each step of the way dealing with this disease.
I am hoping your pain will subside and you will be doing what you want for you and your family. You have been all along but cancer forces us to keep evaluating and track our time.
I am very sorry this has happened Steve. I know I will be facing limited options and so much can change for me quickly.
Barb

Coloncancerblows said:

Steve,
I'm so sorry to hear

Steve,

I'm so sorry to hear your cancer came back.  I hate the word Cancer!  Prayers for you and your family.

I don't know what to say,  you've certainly gone above and beyond in your fight 

steved said:

Thank you

Haven't found time and energy to respond more individually to people's responses but they are all appreciated and added to helping me get through these last few weeks. Starting to regain control of pain and so functioning is improvng and now under the palliative care and hospice which helps to have a single coordinator of care. Wife off work for a period and we are snatching good moments out for lunches as things allow. Kids adapting well but aware of real change in functioning. Hardest shift is from  setting aims and being confident of getting there-work, prosthetic etc- and now really only about controlling things and preventing deteriorations. Still the focus on moments of pleasure is centralband reaching decisions around work andmoney that should again put another area of uncertainty to rest. Prob will opt for a trial irinotecan and cetuximab if things continue to settle but onc putting no pressure on. She appreciatesthe decisions we have made and will support whatever direction we choose- still don't feel a huge fight for chemo in me , will see how next week goes.

Overall, head settling down, control coming back and getting better at finding those sustaining moments we all need. Will continue to be here as this board has been  hugely valuable throughout my journey and I appreciate all I have gained. My use may vary but will contribute differently at times.

Thanks again for all your contributions,

Steve

You just do the best that you can, Steve:)

We understand....

It can take a lot of effort to think and post - and some days are harder than others. 

Will enjoy having you here anytime that you want or can be here....the connectedness does help as you mentioned.

Wishing you well...with as many carefree and pain-free days as there can possibly be:)

steved said:

Thank you

Haven't found time and energy to respond more individually to people's responses but they are all appreciated and added to helping me get through these last few weeks. Starting to regain control of pain and so functioning is improvng and now under the palliative care and hospice which helps to have a single coordinator of care. Wife off work for a period and we are snatching good moments out for lunches as things allow. Kids adapting well but aware of real change in functioning. Hardest shift is from  setting aims and being confident of getting there-work, prosthetic etc- and now really only about controlling things and preventing deteriorations. Still the focus on moments of pleasure is centralband reaching decisions around work andmoney that should again put another area of uncertainty to rest. Prob will opt for a trial irinotecan and cetuximab if things continue to settle but onc putting no pressure on. She appreciatesthe decisions we have made and will support whatever direction we choose- still don't feel a huge fight for chemo in me , will see how next week goes.

Overall, head settling down, control coming back and getting better at finding those sustaining moments we all need. Will continue to be here as this board has been  hugely valuable throughout my journey and I appreciate all I have gained. My use may vary but will contribute differently at times.

Thanks again for all your contributions,

Steve

You have been such an inspiration to me and I am here to support you. I hope you have many wonderful family times and much more time to enjoy them. Thanks for sharing .....~ Ann

Everyone here has said it all, enjoy all your precious moments.  Kim