hurtfull words

24

Comments

  • Kristin N
    Kristin N Member Posts: 1,968 Member
    #22
    TexasCharlie said:

    If you ever have to deal with

    If you ever have to deal with her again ask her, " Have you ever had to deal with cancer personally yourself?" I am betting she hasn't. If the answer is no, then you tell her that she isn't qualified to make any statement about the severity of any cancer. If the answer is yes then I would ask her," why, having been through it herself, she would make such an insensitive and cruel comment?". At any rate, as was stated before, I would report her to her supervisor. At the very least she needs some sensitivity training.

    God Bless You and yours.

    Yes, if you ever, which I

    Yes, if you ever, which I hope you don't, see her again, ask her what Charlie wrote.  She couldn't have had bc or she wouldn't be so insensitive.

    Anyway, put her remark in the past and move forward. 

    Hugs!

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #23
    Kristin N said:

    Yes, if you ever, which I

    Yes, if you ever, which I hope you don't, see her again, ask her what Charlie wrote.  She couldn't have had bc or she wouldn't be so insensitive.

    Anyway, put her remark in the past and move forward. 

    Hugs!

    I never say I am a

    I never say I am a SURVIOR.....I just say I had cancer in 2008! This weekend is relay for life walk-survisor ceremony-never think OH I should go then...ODD I know...I think since I had it easy compared to many. (NOT that anything with cancer is easy -not sure if I am saying it correctly)

     

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #24
    When I was diagnosed 2009 I

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I was not told cancer-I was told over the phone "it's not good but not bad" DCIS-make an appt with surgeon. I looked up DCIS and cancer popped up no matter what.

     

    I was kind of ok until sitting in the surgeon's office and he was talking and talking but when he said "Survival Rate" I lost it.

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #25
    When I was diagnosed 2009 I

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I was not told cancer-I was told over the phone "it's not good but not bad" DCIS-make an appt with surgeon. I looked up DCIS and cancer popped up no matter what.

     

    I was kind of ok until sitting in the surgeon's office and he was talking and talking but when he said "Survival Rate" I lost it.

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #26
    When I was diagnosed 2009 I

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I was not told cancer-I was told over the phone "it's not good but not bad" DCIS-make an appt with surgeon. I looked up DCIS and cancer popped up no matter what.

     

    I was kind of ok until sitting in the surgeon's office and he was talking and talking but when he said "Survival Rate" I lost it.

    Denise

  • disneyfan2008
    disneyfan2008 Member Posts: 6,583 Member
    #27
    sorry for so many postings-it

    sorry for so many postings-it was in limbo for long time and wham repeated over and over..

    Denise

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #28
    disneyfan2008 said:

    I never say I am a

    I never say I am a SURVIOR.....I just say I had cancer in 2008! This weekend is relay for life walk-survisor ceremony-never think OH I should go then...ODD I know...I think since I had it easy compared to many. (NOT that anything with cancer is easy -not sure if I am saying it correctly)

     

    Denise

    Denise, no one had it easy

    Denise, no one had it easy with bc.  You fought just like the rest of us did.  And, we love you!

    Sue :)

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #29
    Barb A said:

    I heard that too!

    KitKat, I had an oncologist tell me that my first go around with cancer. I was stage 0, with widespread DCIS. I had to have a mastectomy with reconstruction because a lumpectomy would have left me disfigured. I was shocked when he said it and I never went back to him. He's lucky I didn't take his little bow-tie and tie it a little tighter.

    As others have said, once you are told you have cancer, no matter what stage or grade, you are in that club. You know what you have gone through and you are a true warrior and survivor. We all are! Just remember how far you have come, how much you have overcome and learned in these last few years. My guess is, you have also helped plenty of other people who have received a similar diagnosis.

    Just because some people don't "get it" doesn't diminish what you have conquered.

    Barb A

     

     

    What is wrong with people?  I

    What is wrong with people?  I still get shocked at things people do and say and this is one for the books.  Ignorance in this case is not bliss.  It is just ignorant.  I am very sorry that you got your feelings hurt.  I would have been upset too.  We are all, unfortunately, in the same boat with breast cancer.  Just hoping you're not going to let this upset you anymore.

    Hugs, Jan

  • Alexis F
    Alexis F Member Posts: 3,598
    #30
    flatpikr said:

    In the club

    A lady in my local support group said to us early stagers "As soon as you hear the word "cancer" in your diagnosis, you're in the club" and it doesn't matter if you have DCIS or stage IV.  I agree with the others above that you should say something to this technician's supervisor so she will be more aware of patient's feelings in the future.  And she owes you an apology.

    I think my jaw dropped when I

    I think my jaw dropped when I read this.  What a dumbie she is!  I hope she gets reprimanded good and I mean good, to where she never opens her mouth and says crap like that again.

    Hugs to you KitKat,

    Lex

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    #31
    disneyfan2008 said:

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I was not told cancer-I was told over the phone "it's not good but not bad" DCIS-make an appt with surgeon. I looked up DCIS and cancer popped up no matter what.

     

    I was kind of ok until sitting in the surgeon's office and he was talking and talking but when he said "Survival Rate" I lost it.

    Denise

    I have been thinking a lot of

    I have been thinking a lot of you KitKat and hope you're ok and will let us know how you are now.

    Hugs, JJ

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #32
    Lynn Smith said:

    This would be upsetting

    This would be upsetting.I was Stage 0 non invasive.My doctor said this cancer won't spread but I can get other cancers. Since my dx almost 4 year ago  my lumpectomy 1 benign tumor was found as I was getting prepped,3 weeks later with my check margin surgery I found another tumor 2 days before that surgery and my 2 year mammo a benign tumor was found. I'm Stage 0 but I'm still am bothered by the benign tumors. That last one is watched.It was a fibroid tumor.

    I know how you feel and wish you the best.

    Lynn Smith

    My offer still stands to slap

    My offer still stands to slap her upside the head!  Surprised

  • Angie2U
    Angie2U Member Posts: 2,991
    #33
    Ritzy said:

    My offer still stands to slap

    My offer still stands to slap her upside the head!  Surprised

    So very sorry Kit Kat

    LOL Ritzy!  I think all of us would like that pleasure.

  • survivorbc09
    survivorbc09 Member Posts: 4,374 Member
    #34
    disneyfan2008 said:

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I

    When I was diagnosed 2009 I was not told cancer-I was told over the phone "it's not good but not bad" DCIS-make an appt with surgeon. I looked up DCIS and cancer popped up no matter what.

     

    I was kind of ok until sitting in the surgeon's office and he was talking and talking but when he said "Survival Rate" I lost it.

    Denise

    Hoping your tears have dried

    Hoping your tears have dried up and you've got a smile on your pretty face by now!

    Hugs, Jan

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    #35
    disneyfan2008 said:

    sorry for so many postings-it

    sorry for so many postings-it was in limbo for long time and wham repeated over and over..

    Denise

    It happens to me too Denise. 

    It happens to me too Denise.  It just sits there and I keep hitting post and then it posts a few times. 

  • DianeBC
    DianeBC Member Posts: 3,881 Member
    #36
    JJDS said:

    It happens to me too Denise. 

    It happens to me too Denise.  It just sits there and I keep hitting post and then it posts a few times. 

    Thinking of you Kit Kat and

    Thinking of you Kit Kat and sending big hugs!

    Diane

  • ladybug22
    ladybug22 Member Posts: 646
    #37
    wish we could drop your tech

    wish we could drop your tech a little note on cancer . hugs and love to you kit kat

  • KIMKATAOKA
    KIMKATAOKA Member Posts: 11
    #38
    What can you say about stupid people

    I just do not know what to say when someone say commits like that.  People do not know what to say to people with cancer so someithing stupid and evil comes out.

  • Ritzy
    Ritzy Member Posts: 4,381 Member
    #39
    KIMKATAOKA said:

    What can you say about stupid people

    I just do not know what to say when someone say commits like that.  People do not know what to say to people with cancer so someithing stupid and evil comes out.

    I hope you will post Kit

    I hope you will post Kit Kat.  We are all here supporting you.

    Sue :)

  • JJDS
    JJDS Member Posts: 258
    #40
    mom62 said:

    Ignorance

    Hi,

    Don't let someones ignorance get you down.  She obviously has no clue.  Maybe you could have said, well all the treatments I had sure made it feel like cancer.  I hope you never have to go through it.  That would have put an end to that conversation.  It may have caught you off guard but don't be afraid to speak up for yourself and correct her.  It doesn't matter what stage, cancer is cancer is cancer. 

    ((hugs) Terry

    Thinking of you Kit

    Thinking of you Kit Kat. 

    Hugs, JJ

  • MrsBob
    MrsBob Member Posts: 77
    #41
    have been at the end of thoughtless words also

    My father in law (at the time) once told me how horrible his brother's cancer was and how horrible his chemo was and then he went on to say "it wasnt the easy kind like your breast cancer and chemo, this was the harder kind." I was absolutely floored!!!! I just had to remember how ignorant he is about cancer and chemo. He knew nothing of it but talked like he did. I never let people see me when I was sick and i always had a smile. He had been with his brother and saw him sickly so thats probably why he thought mine was the "easy" kind. I forgave and went on...

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