So Glad I Found This Site!!!!

Keepinthefaith
Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
in Caregivers #1

My husband has had late stage renal cancer going on 4 years now, been thru hell, i am amazed at what the human body can endure, the sad thing is he has had everything along with cancer, blood clots in lung legs ect, obstructed bowel, diabetes complications, PMR, and some other random health conditions, he has lost 120 lbs since this journey, been in the hospital at so many times the nurses all know us, stay for weeks at a time. He has been on several chemo therapy, surgery, radiation, inlyta seemed to really take his cancer down a knotch only thing it let it slip into his spine did radiation didn't touch it, so now going on votrient, also going for pain control where they put electric current into his spine to keep pain signals from going to brain.  I have tried to be the cheery hopeful wife, keeping a good attitude but sometimes i just feel so alone, because of course this isn't the only thing that happens in our lives, and my husband has never been a cheery person, he also suffers from ptsd yea what a mix ptsd and cancer. so i will be looking forward to reading others comments on this site and maybe get a encouraging word here and there, oh i also quit smoking past december to celabrate our aniversary.

Comments

  • grandmafay
    grandmafay Member Posts: 1,633 Member
    #2
    Welcome

    Welcome to the site most of us were glad to find but sorry we needed to do so. My husband fought colon cancer for six years before losing his battle. This caregiving is hard. Of course, you can't always be cheerful and positive. Caregivers are human although we try to be super supportive, that just isn't always possible. You are not alone. Sadly there are many cancer caregivers. Just try to get some me time. You deserve it. Come here when you need support or just need to vent. Take care, Fay

  • Christine135
    Christine135 Member Posts: 71
    #3
    We are here

    Congrats on quitting smooking. That is a big accomplishment!

    My husband has been fighting esophageal cancer for over a year now and we learned a few weeks ago the cancer has returned in the same area as the first time as well as in the lymph nodes in his neck, lining of his lungs and around his heart. We just started Folfox chemo so we are new to this type of cancer. What even made my husband's cancer more special is that it tested positive for HER2-the most aggressive form of breast cancer so yeah for being so special and unique. Now with surgery and radiation off the table, all we have left is chemo.

    This is a great site and it is wonderful to have a place to vent for we all tied together through cancer no matter what kind. We are here for you and stay strong! Sometimes easier said than done I know but hang in there. You can do it!

    Christine 

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #4
    Christine135 said:

    We are here

    Congrats on quitting smooking. That is a big accomplishment!

    My husband has been fighting esophageal cancer for over a year now and we learned a few weeks ago the cancer has returned in the same area as the first time as well as in the lymph nodes in his neck, lining of his lungs and around his heart. We just started Folfox chemo so we are new to this type of cancer. What even made my husband's cancer more special is that it tested positive for HER2-the most aggressive form of breast cancer so yeah for being so special and unique. Now with surgery and radiation off the table, all we have left is chemo.

    This is a great site and it is wonderful to have a place to vent for we all tied together through cancer no matter what kind. We are here for you and stay strong! Sometimes easier said than done I know but hang in there. You can do it!

    Christine 

    Link To Sanity

    CSN has been my link to sanity with all the supportive, caring, & knowlegeable friends I have met here over the years. There are many nights I just want to wake up from this nightmare. When I reach out, there is always someone nearby.

    I joined after returning home from my daughter's in 2009. She was diagnosed with Stage IV Colorectal cancer w/ mets to liver & lung in September 2008. To this day, she fights on after numerous surgeries, rads, & countless chemo. She is on chemo for life. I understand the devastation of cancer returning. She was NED for an 18 month period one time, but as cancer is the "gift that just keeps on giving", it would not stay away.

    In Oct. 2012, my husband was diagnosed with H&N cancer w/ lymph node involvement and a second primary of lung cancer. He was skating on thin ice as he already had diabetes & a pacemaker/defib. His original CT was done with contrast dye( a definite no-no) which sent him into renal failure & heart failure & a downward spiral from which he could not recover. He fought bravely, but even as the fine doctors at MD Anderson did all that they could, the odds were stacked against him. I always tried to remain positive for him, even as I saw him slipping away. The last month of his life was spent in two different hospitals. The first hospital hastened his death and the second was unable to reverse the damage. I had to make the decision for him to remain semi-conscious on a ventilator & a dialysis machine in a nursing home for the rest of his life or choose to let him go after 41 years. I knew he would not want to live that way. Hospice was able to transport him on a portable vent to our home where my son, daughter & I held his hand and told him how very much we loved him for the next 19 hours. I will never forget that moment when he took his last breath and will wonder every day if I made the right decision.

    I believe in my heart that I took the best possible care of him during his journey, even if reaching the end meant heartbreak for all of us.

    I hope that you both will find strength that you did not think was possible. As Grandmafay says, anyone who thinks you can be upbeat all the time has never been a caregiver. We are human, just doing the best we know how.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

  • Keepinthefaith
    Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
    #5
    wolfen said:

    Link To Sanity

    CSN has been my link to sanity with all the supportive, caring, & knowlegeable friends I have met here over the years. There are many nights I just want to wake up from this nightmare. When I reach out, there is always someone nearby.

    I joined after returning home from my daughter's in 2009. She was diagnosed with Stage IV Colorectal cancer w/ mets to liver & lung in September 2008. To this day, she fights on after numerous surgeries, rads, & countless chemo. She is on chemo for life. I understand the devastation of cancer returning. She was NED for an 18 month period one time, but as cancer is the "gift that just keeps on giving", it would not stay away.

    In Oct. 2012, my husband was diagnosed with H&N cancer w/ lymph node involvement and a second primary of lung cancer. He was skating on thin ice as he already had diabetes & a pacemaker/defib. His original CT was done with contrast dye( a definite no-no) which sent him into renal failure & heart failure & a downward spiral from which he could not recover. He fought bravely, but even as the fine doctors at MD Anderson did all that they could, the odds were stacked against him. I always tried to remain positive for him, even as I saw him slipping away. The last month of his life was spent in two different hospitals. The first hospital hastened his death and the second was unable to reverse the damage. I had to make the decision for him to remain semi-conscious on a ventilator & a dialysis machine in a nursing home for the rest of his life or choose to let him go after 41 years. I knew he would not want to live that way. Hospice was able to transport him on a portable vent to our home where my son, daughter & I held his hand and told him how very much we loved him for the next 19 hours. I will never forget that moment when he took his last breath and will wonder every day if I made the right decision.

    I believe in my heart that I took the best possible care of him during his journey, even if reaching the end meant heartbreak for all of us.

    I hope that you both will find strength that you did not think was possible. As Grandmafay says, anyone who thinks you can be upbeat all the time has never been a caregiver. We are human, just doing the best we know how.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    wolfen

     i cried when i read your post, what you have been thru, having your daughter with cancer, and your husband so much pain you have to bare! My daughters are such support for me as i go thru this with my husband to have one of them sick to wouldn't even want to think about that, as for letting your husband go that is the most unselfish thing you could do, i believe in the Lord so when we pass believe better place it is the one who is left that is in pain. Pain from the loss, and memory of the illness.

  • Keepinthefaith
    Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
    #6
    Christine135 said:

    We are here

    Congrats on quitting smooking. That is a big accomplishment!

    My husband has been fighting esophageal cancer for over a year now and we learned a few weeks ago the cancer has returned in the same area as the first time as well as in the lymph nodes in his neck, lining of his lungs and around his heart. We just started Folfox chemo so we are new to this type of cancer. What even made my husband's cancer more special is that it tested positive for HER2-the most aggressive form of breast cancer so yeah for being so special and unique. Now with surgery and radiation off the table, all we have left is chemo.

    This is a great site and it is wonderful to have a place to vent for we all tied together through cancer no matter what kind. We are here for you and stay strong! Sometimes easier said than done I know but hang in there. You can do it!

    Christine 

    thank you christine

     thank you for your reply, and i was reading your other blog and looks like you have been thru hell, it is a strange new world we enter when we either have cancer or take care of someone who has it. the ups and downs new medicine new problems, new illness, new side effect, er visits all the time, loss of friends, so it is comforting to find others going thru the same thing to reach out to. i really don't tell anyone much about what going thru or i wouldn't have any friends left haha. i do go out in the yard and talk to God, or write to him in my journal He is always there and always has his ear open to my cry, and does he ever give me strength!

     

  • Keepinthefaith
    Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
    #7
    grandmafay said:

    Welcome

    Welcome to the site most of us were glad to find but sorry we needed to do so. My husband fought colon cancer for six years before losing his battle. This caregiving is hard. Of course, you can't always be cheerful and positive. Caregivers are human although we try to be super supportive, that just isn't always possible. You are not alone. Sadly there are many cancer caregivers. Just try to get some me time. You deserve it. Come here when you need support or just need to vent. Take care, Fay

    thank you fay

     sorry to hear your husband lost his battle with cancer, 6 years is a long time, but yet not long enough to have .

  • Keepinthefaith
    Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
    #8
    grandmafay said:

    Welcome

    Welcome to the site most of us were glad to find but sorry we needed to do so. My husband fought colon cancer for six years before losing his battle. This caregiving is hard. Of course, you can't always be cheerful and positive. Caregivers are human although we try to be super supportive, that just isn't always possible. You are not alone. Sadly there are many cancer caregivers. Just try to get some me time. You deserve it. Come here when you need support or just need to vent. Take care, Fay

    thank you fay

     sorry to hear your husband lost his battle with cancer, 6 years is a long time, but yet not long enough to have .

  • Keepinthefaith
    Keepinthefaith Member Posts: 8
    #9
    grandmafay said:

    Welcome

    Welcome to the site most of us were glad to find but sorry we needed to do so. My husband fought colon cancer for six years before losing his battle. This caregiving is hard. Of course, you can't always be cheerful and positive. Caregivers are human although we try to be super supportive, that just isn't always possible. You are not alone. Sadly there are many cancer caregivers. Just try to get some me time. You deserve it. Come here when you need support or just need to vent. Take care, Fay

    thank you fay

     sorry to hear your husband lost his battle with cancer, 6 years is a long time, but yet not long enough to have .

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