No more treatment, now what?

First I'm sorry about your brother-inlaw.  No one knows how fast the cancer will progress.  But you should honor your brother-in-law's decision.  There are probably things he is not telling anyone.  When my husband was diagnosed with laryngeal cancer 3 years ago, he underwent radiation and chemo and had a horrible time.  But we found out when he started having breathing troubles that the cancer had reoccurred and were sent to a head and neck specialist because our local ENT said he didn't do the surgery anymore and that a H&N specialist was needed for the surgery.  The specialist told my husband that without surgery he would give him a year to live.  Well my husband had the surgery and did quite well for one year.  Then he was diagnosed with a second primary and underwent radiation and chemo again.  Then less than 6 months later the second primary had reoccurred and spread.  Only option was chemo this time and my husband elected no more treatment.  Our sons and I are respecting is wishes and have not tried to get him to change his mind and after reading so much on this board and others, can understand his decision.  

Now 5 months later he is doing okay and at times if it wasn't for the lost of his voicebox and use of his feeding tube, I wouldn't think he was terminal.  Yes he has low energy levels but still does what he wants, when he wants and has pain but that is controlled by lortab 10-325 and for which he doesn't take that often because he says it makes him sleepy and he doesn't like to take medicine.  All of his doctors have said they won't say how long because they don't know.  And I agree only God knows and no one is promised today or tomorrow.  I also realize that he could go downhill very fast and when the time comes hospice will be called in.  I also know that if the pain becomes too bad that we can't controlled it at home, then he will have to go to in-hospice care, something he doesn't want so I also think that is something he won't complain about.

Wishing the best to your and your family.  Sharon

You haven’t mentioned if this would be the first time he is being treated or not. Because this makes a HUGE difference! You said something about treatment being stopped, but I am not clear what that means. Also, when you mention 3 tumors, maybe the 2 on each side of the neck are enlarged lymph nodes, and the tumor is actually somewhere “in the front”. The point is, if this hasn’t been treated before, it would be (in my opinion) a big mistake, not the treat something that is highly curable (60-80% sometimes even 90% depending on the stage and other factors). If he hasn’t been treated before, please have him reconsider carefully his options. If this is a reoccurrence, it’s an entirely different story, and he already knows what’s best for him.

mfacnason said:

Never Treated

Hi Corleone,

He had three rounds of chemo and when scanned the tumors had gotten worse and mets in his lungs have multiplied so doctors stopped the chemotherapy.  They told him he could have radiation to try to shrink the tumor in his neck which is pressing on the carotid artery to help with the pain, but they were only going to do an abbreviated 10 rounds at Yale for pain control.  We are working with the VA.  Because of the mets in his lungs, they are not being aggressive at all.  He is in alot of pain and I have a feeling we will be looking at a morphine drip soon.  I do not know what else we can do for pain control.  The reason he said no to any treatment is because they have pretty much told him he is terminal and nothing will help.  He saw what the radiation did to some of the other vets at the hospital and he opted out. Said what he saw was terrible. Didn't want to go through it. I hope he's making the right decision.  My husband, his brother, is quite upset.  I am just trying to prepare myself. Don't know what to expect.

 

I'm sorry to hear about this. 

You said he was seen at the VA hospital. Is there any way he could get a 2nd opinion at a CCC? Perhaps there is a pallitiative care option that will at least make him more comfortable.

Positive thoughts and prayers

"T"

fishmanpa said:

Double Click

Double post.... 

Perhaps your husband could convince his brother to have a 2nd opinion. Afterall, what could it hurt. I'm sorry your family is having to face this. It's a difficult choice.

God bless your family,

Candi