Really difficult week 4 mom hospitalized

Juliejewels
Juliejewels Member Posts: 6
in Anal Cancer #1

Hello,

i posted before my my mom began treatment. She is stage 2a but a 13 cm tumor. She completed 19 rad and one chemo round and was drastically declining all through week 4. She was hospitalized last week, she was too weak to do her 20 th rad and they sent her right to hospital.   White blood cells still falling, massive uncontrollable diarrhea - more than 20 times a day. It's just awful. She's 69 years old, but was so strong prior to all this.  There's no way I can see her coming home. We are looking into a cancer specific facility where she can have round the clock care and continue her treatments. I feel helpless.  I help clean her, rub her back, hold her hand, sit all day with her. I have to try to keep some of my life going. I'm down to bare functioning minimum for myself. My 80 year old step dad cannot care for her the way she needs and while I am there I will be somewhat in and out, slough I am ready to chuck my entire life to assist her. 

She insisted on no pain meds :( why I cannot imagine. I finally intervened and got her on dilaudid (? Sp).  Se needs more though. 

Doc said its all going to get even worse before it gets better. What to do? Any advice at all? 

 

Thanks,

 

julie 

 

 

Comments

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #2
    Julie

    I am so sorry to hear this.  Your mom certainly is having a rough time.  Hospitalization was the right thing to do.  God bless you for taking such good care of her.  I understand the helpless feeling you spoke about, but it sounds like you are doing all you can.  It's good that she's now on Dilaudid and I hope it will help with her pain.  The only advice I can give you is to continue to be there for her and to keep on her docs to make sure they are doing all possible to keep her moving forward through treatment and controlling her pain as much as possible.  The cancer facility sounds like a good option and I hope you can get her in there.  Please keep us posted.  Both your mom and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. 

  • pializ
    pializ Member Posts: 508 Member
    #3
    mp327 said:

    Julie

    I am so sorry to hear this.  Your mom certainly is having a rough time.  Hospitalization was the right thing to do.  God bless you for taking such good care of her.  I understand the helpless feeling you spoke about, but it sounds like you are doing all you can.  It's good that she's now on Dilaudid and I hope it will help with her pain.  The only advice I can give you is to continue to be there for her and to keep on her docs to make sure they are doing all possible to keep her moving forward through treatment and controlling her pain as much as possible.  The cancer facility sounds like a good option and I hope you can get her in there.  Please keep us posted.  Both your mom and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. 

    Julie

    I am sorry to hear yourMom is struggling with the treatment.  It is very harsh & affects each of us differently. I am so glad for both your sakes she has been hospitalised. You both need that support. That helpless feeling is awful, but you are doing the best you can in a really difficult situation.  Sa specialist cancer hospital would be best if possible, & to continue treatment when her bloods allow. Keep us posted. Best wishes, Liz

  • eihtak
    eihtak Member Posts: 1,473 Member
    #4
    Julie....

    So sorry for how you are both feeling. I have been on both sides, the patient and the caregiver....don't much like either. Your mom must be a really great mother to have raised such a patient and kind and supportive daughter and I'll bet she is thankful for all you are doing.

    I was also in horrible pain and had some minor complications related to radiation and my colostomy and had to be hospitalized after week 3. From there I was transfered to a nursing home for 2 months. Please continue to seek pain relief for your mom as needed. My doctor was quite aware of pain issues and had me on a regular schedule of pain management. By the end I was on a fairly high dose but it sure helped and was weened off shortly after radiation treatment ended. A cancer center was not a workable option for me at the time but the nursing home I was in was wonderful with my main nurse being educated in cancer care. The hardest part was that I needed to get in a van to go to the hospital daily for radiation. I was soooo sick and had to travel with a puke bag!! The diarrhea caused additional ostomy problems but prooved to be short lived, thank God! I know many somehow make it through with little or no support but I sure needed the help of my family. Being in the nursing home gave "them" some needed help also and that in turn made me feel better. I had lost a great deal of weight and was able to get a nutritional supplement via my port while there and that too was another huge help.

    Please take short breaks for yourself to walk, read, sleep, shop, work, or something that will keep your thoughts on the positives. I hope that the hospitalization/cancer center or another short term facility will give you some support.

    You will both be in my thoughts and prayers as you get through this together.

     

Discussion Boards