Dad has esophageal cancer, spread to lymph nodes, kidneys, and liver

You don't give your Dad's staging, but as a non-medical person, it sounds like Stage 4 N1M1.  It is very true that oncologist cannot give the odds for a single individual.  All they can do is quote the statistics, based on a very large number of people, for the stage.  There is always a distribution of individuals around that number.  No one can say what individuals will be in what part of the distribution.  You can look up the survival percentages by stages by Googling "esophagal cancer stages". 

People cope in different ways.  And, if you look through these posts, you will see that there are many Stage 4 survivors, meaning they have passed 3-5 years post cancer, with their loved ones.  Staying in close contact with your Dad is important, and being there to do the tasks that will arise from the treatment is also important.  Your father can also sign a release for you to be able to speak directly with all the doctors on his team.  I recommend carrying a copy of this release with you at all times, because every single nurse and staff person, on every shift, in every facility will ask you anew for it.

Best of luck. 

Hi, it sounds like we are in similiar situations.  In Feb they found a tumor in my dad's brain. after surgery and it was removed it was determined it was a metastic tumor.  On March 31st they finally found the origin, and we were given the diagnosis of stage 4 esphogal cancer. His several Lymph node are involved also along with 2 additional small tumors on his frontal lobe.  My dad also lives 1200  miles away. For the first month after they found the intial tumor it was so difficult for my brother and I to determine what the real situation was. I am very fortunate that I have been able to spend most of my time down with them since March.  It was so difficult getting information 2nd hand.  I would suggest asking your dad to sign HIPPA forms for all his doctors.  (these will authorize Drs to speak to you about his diagnosis, treatment test results etc) Once those are on file, you will be able to speak directly with his help care providors.  While my dad has been told that his cancer is not curable. He is in denial, and admits this to us, and beleives he will "beat this".  While i know it is very important from him to have a positive attitude, it does make some parts of his diagonosis more difficult.  We dont talk about the "great big elephant in the room".  Dad has begun Chemo treatments.  I was the one who finally had to ask the Dr what the goals of Chemo were since it had become obvious after 3 appointments that my dad was not going to ask.  I try very hard to balance the questions I feel I need answers to versus what my dad doesnt want to hear.

I am sure many here would not agree with my approach but i had to admit that the statitics are not good and that my dad's time left any be very limited.  The changes in my dad already are very drastic.  He is not the same man he was a year ago.  I have made arrangements for both my daughters to travel down to visit my dad.  I have felt much better since these plans have been made.  I want to stay optimistic but I also need to be prepared for the worse.  I remind myself daily to appreciate each day i get to spend with dad now.  I would recommend you take a trip out and see your dad, even if you arent able to stay and hep them like i have been doing, you need to see him first hand.  See if you can plan a trip to visit when he has an appointment with his dr. That way you can meet the Dr and his nurse, this may make it easier for you to followup with them on your dad's prognosis.

Sorry you find yourself in this situation.  I know it is so hard

 Hi veggiejes,

HOw is your dad?

Thanks

Lili