~~ Read The Label First HA HA'S & A Good Ole HA HA Joke ~~

On the bottle top of a ( U.K. ) flavored milk drink:  AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.

On a New Zealand insect spray:  THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.

On a Sears hairdryer:  DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.

On a child's Superman costume:  WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.  ( that's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy.

On an American Airlines pack of nuts:  INSTRUCTIONS --OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.  ( i'm sure glad they cleared that up )

On a bar of Dial soap:  DIRECTIONS -- USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:  FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.  ( as opposed to what -- use in outer space? )

 An Amost Perfect Life

An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out.  A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. 

The old man says, " I'm a multimillionaire.  I have a great big house and the fastest car in the world, and, I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell."

The jogger says, " Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life.  What could be so wrong in your life that you're sitting here in the park crying? "

The old man says, " I can't remember where I live. "

 ♥Love, Susie ♥