I Feel Like A Really Bad Soap Opera

wolfen
wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

Hubby's stay at home was a very short one. Our son had styed until about 8, & I had to call him back at 10 to move his dad to the commode. He is absolute dead weight & our son could barely do it.

I had noticed a considerable swelling throughout his whole body when I brought him home, but he wanted home so badly. When he was initially hospitalized, his Lasix was removed. It was restarted a week later at my request, but only at a quarter dose. Had I been around for the last four days, I would have seen the signs. I called the second cab of the day & took him to the Phoenix hospital where his cardio practices. He is now in CHF as his heart can't pump off all the fluid.

I stayed until 5 AM,  & called another cab to get home. I've postponed the IV infusion team & the Healing at Home rep & refrigerated the $5,000 worth of antibiotics. Going to straighten the family room which looks like Armageddon after all last night's medical deliveries, take a shower & head back to the hospital. And yes, Phrannie Mom, I took my horse pill.  LOL

Later,

Luv,

Wolfen

Comments

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #2
    dear wolfen, i'm so sorry the

    dear wolfen, i'm so sorry the homecoming didn't go well and he's back in the hospital.  i'm sorry he is so swollen, will they start his lasix now?  i wouldn't worry about the family room, u have 2 much 2 do.  you poor thing, u have to be exausted.  i wish u had people who could help u with the caregiving.  i'm saying a special prayer for u and ur hubby.  hang in there and don't forget 2 take care of u 2.

    God bless you,

    dj

  • VivianLee5689
    VivianLee5689 Member Posts: 546
    #3
    debbiejeanne said:

    dear wolfen, i'm so sorry the

    dear wolfen, i'm so sorry the homecoming didn't go well and he's back in the hospital.  i'm sorry he is so swollen, will they start his lasix now?  i wouldn't worry about the family room, u have 2 much 2 do.  you poor thing, u have to be exausted.  i wish u had people who could help u with the caregiving.  i'm saying a special prayer for u and ur hubby.  hang in there and don't forget 2 take care of u 2.

    God bless you,

    dj

    Praying

    Praying for you.

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #4
    life is strange

    Wolfen,

    Lighthearted:

    This whole site is our own little H&N Soap Opera.  You are the strong and determined caregiver who never gives up and I am the lowly Oregonian who tries to “get it”, but is constantly surprised and amazed by the tidbits of real life stories of the residence of H&N village.

    Serious:

    I would offer advice, but I can’t find my PDR manual (and I need advice).  Instead, I’ll offer hope and prayer that you and your husband both feel better and that the doctors find a  path through this morass to successful treatment.

    Best always,

    Matt

  • NJShore
    NJShore Member Posts: 429 Member
    #5
    Ripleys..

    Wolfen,

    Is your last name Ripleys? You really are my hero. Amazing what you have been through, and you are wonderful, I saw a smile in your writing. You never loose your sense of humor!

    So do we call your show "The Doctors"?

    I hope you are keeping a journal.. and I hope you are finding time to sit and relax yourself now and then.

    Hugs, Kari

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #6
    NJShore said:

    Ripleys..

    Wolfen,

    Is your last name Ripleys? You really are my hero. Amazing what you have been through, and you are wonderful, I saw a smile in your writing. You never loose your sense of humor!

    So do we call your show "The Doctors"?

    I hope you are keeping a journal.. and I hope you are finding time to sit and relax yourself now and then.

    Hugs, Kari

    I Do Sometimes Feel Like The Entertainment Around Here

    The really bad entertainment.  LOL

    Please don't ever assume that I feel that our problems are any worse than the next person's. It's just that you all & the Colon Board are my connection to a semblance of sanity. If I didn't have someone to talk to, I truly would be crazy.

    Kari, a journal would be great. I guess I sort of have one. It's the big binder where I keep the 5 W's that represent Ron's medical journey through life. And then there's the running list of medical claims with their predicted oucome that we all have. I really should take the time to learn the computer program that utilizes spreadsheets. I remember using a program called Lotus(back in the year 1) that was used for this purpose. I know you're very much into technology, but you may remember it.

    Nope, we can't use "The Doctors". It's been around for about 40 years, but we counld be "The Patients".  LOL

    Arizona Diamondbacks ball games & talking to you guys is my relaxation.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Oh man....

    Wolfen.....you live in a whirlwind!  I'm sorry your man had to go back to the hospital, but it's safe there....and that has to bring some relief.... especially since he is where his cardiac issues can be addressed.  I know he's probably super disappointed that he only got to stay home for a few hours....

    I'm glad to hear that you took your horse pill....I would probably forget with all the action happening.  You did good!  You're going to have to take care of yourself....I know, easier said than done....but thinking that a couple of nights of real sleep would perk up your immune system.

    I have to say this, too.....you are AMAZING!!  How you do all this, and keep smilin' and truckin' I don't know.  But if there was a person I'd want to emmulate, it is you.

    p

  • Billie67
    Billie67 Member Posts: 898
    #8
    wolfen said:

    I Do Sometimes Feel Like The Entertainment Around Here

    The really bad entertainment.  LOL

    Please don't ever assume that I feel that our problems are any worse than the next person's. It's just that you all & the Colon Board are my connection to a semblance of sanity. If I didn't have someone to talk to, I truly would be crazy.

    Kari, a journal would be great. I guess I sort of have one. It's the big binder where I keep the 5 W's that represent Ron's medical journey through life. And then there's the running list of medical claims with their predicted oucome that we all have. I really should take the time to learn the computer program that utilizes spreadsheets. I remember using a program called Lotus(back in the year 1) that was used for this purpose. I know you're very much into technology, but you may remember it.

    Nope, we can't use "The Doctors". It's been around for about 40 years, but we counld be "The Patients".  LOL

    Arizona Diamondbacks ball games & talking to you guys is my relaxation.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    Wolfen
    Clearly this is not a soap opera.....if it were you certainly wouldn't be cleaning your own family room!! You'd have staff that would take care of that.

    All kidding aside, I'm sorry this has been such a crazy bumpy road for both of you. I sure hope the mister starts feeling better soon. Please continue to keep us posted. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

    Billie
  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #9
    phrannie51 said:

    Oh man....

    Wolfen.....you live in a whirlwind!  I'm sorry your man had to go back to the hospital, but it's safe there....and that has to bring some relief.... especially since he is where his cardiac issues can be addressed.  I know he's probably super disappointed that he only got to stay home for a few hours....

    I'm glad to hear that you took your horse pill....I would probably forget with all the action happening.  You did good!  You're going to have to take care of yourself....I know, easier said than done....but thinking that a couple of nights of real sleep would perk up your immune system.

    I have to say this, too.....you are AMAZING!!  How you do all this, and keep smilin' and truckin' I don't know.  But if there was a person I'd want to emmulate, it is you.

    p

    Wolfen...I think you are doing great with what all you have ...

    and if humor is permitted....your show should be called

    "As the Wolf Turns" ..get it?  :)

     

    Serious...Id did whisper a prayer that things just dag-gum turn for the better on all fronts and soon.

     

    Tim

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #10
    hugs sent

    Wolfen,

    I wish I could send more than just hugs to you all !  Darn it, seems it never lets up.  Katie

  • Patti1967
    Patti1967 Member Posts: 186
    #11
    katenorwood said:

    hugs sent

    Wolfen,

    I wish I could send more than just hugs to you all !  Darn it, seems it never lets up.  Katie

    Im am pretty new to this

    Im am pretty new to this board, but you quickly became my hero Wolfen:)  Hugs coming your way:)

    Patti

  • Ladylacy
    Ladylacy Member Posts: 773 Member
    #12
    Wolfen

    So sorry to hear the news.  I know you had great hopes having your husband home.  Prayers coming your way.

    Sharon

  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #13
    Ladylacy said:

    Wolfen

    So sorry to hear the news.  I know you had great hopes having your husband home.  Prayers coming your way.

    Sharon

    Thanks Once Again Friends

    For shoring up the ol' crumbling foundation. I am, by no means, a hero. My huuby is the HERO, for withstanding all that has been & all that is to come.

    I am surprised that his heart has said "Let's keep going", but I had an interesting discussion with my son(the intellect of the family) last night. You know how logic tells you that each of us must die one day, but your heart overrides this, so you don't truly think that a person will go. Well, just as with my daughter, my heart just can't see my hubby being gone. And in reality, his heart can't stop. It's being paced & will restart his heart if it fails by the device in his chest. I don't know how this thing works exactly, but it has to do with electrical impulses being sent by the brain, so if that fails, I don't know. Does any of that make sesnse? Anyway, it's not close to going there right now.

    I think my purpose is just to be the organizer, & that is my personality type. It drives my hubby crazy. He always complains that if it sits for more than 5 minutes without being used, I put it away and he never finds it again. People like me have a lot of nervous energy. We thrive on doing multiple tasks concurrently.  Our minds go 90 miles an hour 24/7. At least mine does. Always in anticipation of the next task, subconciously.  A big factor in not sleeping well. And, I'm finding that the other problem is that this behavior is all well & good when you're young, but as you get older, your body doesn't always keep up with your mind. Thus, my statement "I never get sick" will have to have the word "almost" added to it. People like me never stop & smell the roses & this is sad, because some of those roses represent people, who would much rather have a hug or a kind word than a precisely folded towel. I do feel that I'm a good wife & mother, but I can also recognize my faults.

    We went to see hubby last night. The swelling has gone down some. He was becoming real hoarse, but is still getting ice chips. Sometimes you wonder what the people caring for him are thinkng. The man can't swallow, but on his bedside table, you find a set of silverware & a bowl of fruit cocktail? They had also brought him eggs & toast earlier. Anyway, I'm heading back down there in a little while to sit with him. Talk to ya'll soon.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

  • rachel12yrsuv
    rachel12yrsuv Member Posts: 435
    #14
    wolfen said:

    Thanks Once Again Friends

    For shoring up the ol' crumbling foundation. I am, by no means, a hero. My huuby is the HERO, for withstanding all that has been & all that is to come.

    I am surprised that his heart has said "Let's keep going", but I had an interesting discussion with my son(the intellect of the family) last night. You know how logic tells you that each of us must die one day, but your heart overrides this, so you don't truly think that a person will go. Well, just as with my daughter, my heart just can't see my hubby being gone. And in reality, his heart can't stop. It's being paced & will restart his heart if it fails by the device in his chest. I don't know how this thing works exactly, but it has to do with electrical impulses being sent by the brain, so if that fails, I don't know. Does any of that make sesnse? Anyway, it's not close to going there right now.

    I think my purpose is just to be the organizer, & that is my personality type. It drives my hubby crazy. He always complains that if it sits for more than 5 minutes without being used, I put it away and he never finds it again. People like me have a lot of nervous energy. We thrive on doing multiple tasks concurrently.  Our minds go 90 miles an hour 24/7. At least mine does. Always in anticipation of the next task, subconciously.  A big factor in not sleeping well. And, I'm finding that the other problem is that this behavior is all well & good when you're young, but as you get older, your body doesn't always keep up with your mind. Thus, my statement "I never get sick" will have to have the word "almost" added to it. People like me never stop & smell the roses & this is sad, because some of those roses represent people, who would much rather have a hug or a kind word than a precisely folded towel. I do feel that I'm a good wife & mother, but I can also recognize my faults.

    We went to see hubby last night. The swelling has gone down some. He was becoming real hoarse, but is still getting ice chips. Sometimes you wonder what the people caring for him are thinkng. The man can't swallow, but on his bedside table, you find a set of silverware & a bowl of fruit cocktail? They had also brought him eggs & toast earlier. Anyway, I'm heading back down there in a little while to sit with him. Talk to ya'll soon.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

    Wolfen,
    Could be way off base
    Wolfen,

    Could be way off base here, but I feel like you are surrounded by a house of cards and if one more card gets thrown into your window its all coming down. There is only so long that emtionally you can push along. The only thing I hope is that between your family,friends, and us you are getting the emtional support you need to keep being the wonderful caretaker you are to your Hero Hubby! He is fighting, and fighting hard its clear. Its not just the pace maker that mans heart doesn't want to quit, what he knows his future holds is more important to him and that is why he fights. Together you have built a foundation of support, love and strength, and together you will fight and get him well and get him home again in a better frame of mind and body. Everybody's pain IS THEIR PAIN, and to you it may be the worse its ever been and that's okay, don't compare to others, its yours. We all have crosses to bare, some heavier at times then others, but sometime in life yours was or will be lighter just as theirs will be. When I was going through end of treatment in nov. 2000 my younger sister was getting divorced, both pain was intense, just different neither more or less than the other.

    As far as soap opera goes, the bad ones get canceled, not watched by as may as us and all your reviews I would say what you have is a respectable show full of great values that I am sure we all hope we have! Tell Hubby I am praying for him and you! Stay healthy body and soul!

    God Bless you Wolfen and love you and your family and especially Hubby,

    Rachel
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324 Member
    #15
    rachel12yrsuv said:

    Wolfen,
    Could be way off base
    Wolfen,

    Could be way off base here, but I feel like you are surrounded by a house of cards and if one more card gets thrown into your window its all coming down. There is only so long that emtionally you can push along. The only thing I hope is that between your family,friends, and us you are getting the emtional support you need to keep being the wonderful caretaker you are to your Hero Hubby! He is fighting, and fighting hard its clear. Its not just the pace maker that mans heart doesn't want to quit, what he knows his future holds is more important to him and that is why he fights. Together you have built a foundation of support, love and strength, and together you will fight and get him well and get him home again in a better frame of mind and body. Everybody's pain IS THEIR PAIN, and to you it may be the worse its ever been and that's okay, don't compare to others, its yours. We all have crosses to bare, some heavier at times then others, but sometime in life yours was or will be lighter just as theirs will be. When I was going through end of treatment in nov. 2000 my younger sister was getting divorced, both pain was intense, just different neither more or less than the other.

    As far as soap opera goes, the bad ones get canceled, not watched by as may as us and all your reviews I would say what you have is a respectable show full of great values that I am sure we all hope we have! Tell Hubby I am praying for him and you! Stay healthy body and soul!

    God Bless you Wolfen and love you and your family and especially Hubby,

    Rachel

    Thank You, Rachel

    Today will be a better day!

    Hubby called & said he was able to take a few steps with PT's help. His legs are like rubber bands. I'm hoping as the swelling subsides, each day will be better.

    I was able to get Home Health to pick up all the never touched IV meds & paraphernalia, so that's one less card to fall.

    I suppose my earlier post sounded sort of crazy, but I was just kind of trying to explain who I am. I really do have it pretty much together, most of the time.  LOL

    Will be heading back to the hospital in a bit. It is comforting to him with me nearby.

    Luv,

    Wolfen

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