Well, after 8 months of non stop beating up I have decided to stop treatment. With the horrific weight loss I've suffered and unable to regain any of it, I just want to live out my life without the side effects of chemo.
What really had boosted my strength in just the past few days is my lady friend Marie has some for a two week visit. I haven't smiled in the pas found months as much as I have the past found days. At 1128, the gates of Hell have been cast aside and I'm in Heaven!
lilacbrroller Member Posts: 412 Memberdefinitely
I think you need to go sky diving, rocky mountain climbing, and 2.7 seconds on a bull named fu manchu, love deeper and speak sweeter (tim McGraw song that's going through my head.) Seems like you're already doing the last two.
Many of us will be where you are, some of us sooner, some of us later. You are very brave.
Enjoy your time! Live it!
Momof2plusteentwins Member Posts: 509 MemberDoc
I'm so happy to see your post, and happy that you have been smiling. It sounds like you will have a permanent smile for 2 weeks with lady Marie. I hope you are feeling better and can eat. Keep us posted how you are doing and keep smiling!
You're a Strong Man Doc
And you've done the best you could. I don't believe that anyone can predict who will respond to this or that situation that's thrown at them. Nor can we predict how we'll handle a tough situation like you're in. I'm glad to hear you're enjoying yourself and plan to keep on enjoying yourself.
You're an inspiration...
It's not giving up, its moving forward
I have waited for your post.
Ever since I became a member of this forum, I have felt your strength, and appreciated it.
I also believe that we must move forward, and I whole-heartedly agree that if the end is to come (which it does for all), then living life to that end, without the pains or restrictions of chemo, is the right thing to do.
May you enjoy your time with Marie, then enjoy life to the fullest that you can.
I hope to be seeing you posting here for a long time yet.
Lovekitties Member Posts: 3,364 MemberDear Doc
It is good to see you post again. I know that your decision was not easy, but can understand.
I am so very glad that your Lady was able to come for a visit. I know how much that means to you.
I hope that you will continue to stop in here and visit once in a while as you feel up to it.
marbleotis Member Posts: 720 MemberHard, but your decision
There is great strength in this difficult decision. It was good to see your post. Focus on getting yourself stronger and enjoy! Be good to yourself.
With cancer so many things are out of our control. Taking charge!
Keep us updated.0
fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 MemberGreat to Hear From You
Doc you have been a strong light for me since joining the Forum. I have nothing but the greatest respect for the fight as you fought and reflect daily on my own struggle with this amazingly complex and multifaceted disease.
Quality of life is important to me as well and it is my wish that as my time approaches there will be a concentration of the things that are dear to me. Your decision makes the utmost sense to me since these wishes I cannot appreciate or enjoy if my senses and body are twisted from the toxic chemicals that are chemo-therapy.
Enjoy Marie and accept my wish for peace, comfort, and companionship....see you on the other side Citizen.
I was profoundly sad to read this. You are a strong and wise man. Whatever the future holds for you, may it be filled with good times and laughter. Yes chemo can beat you up pretty good, I witnessed that with my George so I have a good sense of what you are going through.
Hugs - Tina0
Luckygirl2 Member Posts: 308Enjoy
Enjoy your time and your friend...prayers to you.0
Thinking of you Doc
It's so good to hear from you and see your name here on the board. I'm sorry the chemo has taken such a toll on you. You've been such a trouper and you've been through so much, but you manage to stay so good natured. We can all learn from your great attitude. I'm very sad to hear of your decision but I also understand and want to be supportive of you. I hope you will quickly begin to feel better, and my prayer for you will be that you stay better for a long time.
Glad you are enjoying your visit with your lady friend Marie. You have my best wishes.
steveandnat Member Posts: 886Bless you Doc
You are a great inspiration to everyone and I thank you. I know how you feel about all these side effects from chemo and always having to deal with them. It becomes very exhausting. Your decision is such a tough one but you know best what to do. Enjoy every good day and I'll be praying you have so many. Jeff0
You have obviously pondered on this decision for some time and come to a choice that is right for you. The focus is on finding quality in our days0 something weshould be mindful of. It certainly sounds like your lady friend has been able to ontribute to that.
I've read your posts and kept up with your story. I know it has very rough going for you. I always support the patient's position with regards to their treatment choices as I feel that they above all, know best how their body is responding and what they feel they are still capable of doing.
I know you write, Ray...I wrote a book too and have had quite a time trying to pitch it....but in my final chapter, I wrote about the end of life scenario and what the emotions and feelings would be...this last fight I wrapped up had taken alot out of me and it felt like I wasn't going to make it there for awhile.
So, I drew on those emotions and then tried to put myself right where you are writing from now...but I can only get so close...so all I could do is speculate and question as I closed out the book.
But, I've always learned alot from folks who find themselves facing this crossroads and telling their story - I find that it benefits the entire community, because we need a frank and open discussion about the topic from someone brave enough to step up and talk about it.
I find that mostly it is brave acceptance by most folks...but, if a person had a completely different reaction to their scenario, I think that would be honest as well, and I for one, would draw a great deal out of that person's testimony. Because, I know we try and be gentle here so as not to discouage other folks, but deep down, there must be other emotions that aren't being physically or verbally expressed.
But, we all learn through shared experiences, even if we were to differ as individuals...and your acceptance of your situation will not be lost on me. I just wanted to say that.
Glad you will be spending time with your girl - may it be all that it ever could be for you both:)
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