Husband's surgery tomorrow

jen2012
jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member

My husband goes in to have the rectal tumor removed tomorrow.  He is not thrilled about this since he's been feeling so well lately and is afraid that this is going to knock him down and out for awhile.  He's been working since his diagnosis in August, with the exception of every other Friday on treatment days.  The surgeon's nurse said he may well need to take the next 4 months off - if the ileostomy is able to be reversed.   That still seems to be his biggest worry - the ileostomy, especially if it can't be reversed.  That and dying on the table.  My worries are mostly that the surgeon will find more cancer once he gets in and starts looking around.  

Would appreciate any advice on how to make things easier for him in the next few weeks - and prayers and positive thoughts are always appreciated.

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Comments

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,662 Member
    I don't think so!

    Lets give 'dying on the table' a miss, OK!

    I know people say 'well, it could happen' So could getting into a wreck on the way to the hospital. 

    Go into the surgery positive and come out of it positive. 

    Your husband and you will be in my thoughts and prayers all day tomorrow. 

    Does your husband have a name you'd like to share? Then I can pray for him by name. If not, then I thoughts will work just as well. 

    Blessings!

  • AnnLouise
    AnnLouise Member Posts: 276
    Don't have any advice....

    But prayers and positive thoughts are on their way!  ~ Ann

  • Momof2plusteentwins
    Momof2plusteentwins Member Posts: 509 Member
    Jen
    I hope surgery goes well for him. Does the Md say the temp ostomy is for sure going to happen. I had surgery last June - rectal cancer and surgeon said ostomy was a chance but I didn't get one. I was in hospital 6 days with rectal & liver tumor out and gallbladder out. I was feeling pretty good and walking 2 miles after 3 weeks and started chemo at 4 weeks post op. I think as young as he is he should do well. Let us know.
    Sandy:)
  • Maxiecat
    Maxiecat Member Posts: 544
    Let him know that there are

    Let him know that there are lots of us praying for him.

     

    alex

  • devotion10
    devotion10 Member Posts: 623
    The next few weeks will depend on what happens in surgery

    and how he heals afterward.  Try to stay in the moment if you can and just be there for him through the surgery and the days afterward in the hospital.  Keep us informed and as the days go by there will be folks who can share their ideas for his particular needs (and yours). On a positive note, it may not be as bad as he or you think ... in a way, that is simply the best way to look at it if you can.  Many here have dealt with ileostomies and have found that they are of course life-saving to prevent blockage and that after the initial adjustment find that it is not as challenging as they imagined.

    Best of luck to you both. -- Cynthia

  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    A very good friend had the same surgery

    And a temporary ostomy, that was reversed 6 months later.  She is now (at 4 years out) totally discharged from care - considered cured.  It won't be fun, but it is doable.  And we do learn to live with changes that are way beyond our assumed comfort zones.

     

    Wishing for a successful surgery, with all the best possible outcomes.

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Thanks everyone. Yeah when

    Thanks everyone. Yeah when he said he was afraid of not making it out of surgery I told him he needs a new surgeon if that is one of his worries. Surgeon said ileostomy is needed to let the bottom heal without use. I know he'd be thrilled to get clear margins and not need it but I dont think thats gonna happen. I find it kind of crazy that someone can be totally blocked and not be stage 4 and he hardly had symtoms and hes stage 4. Now since hes had months of chemo im wondering what is the purpose of having lymph nodes removed? I guess that would have been a question for the surgeon. Right now hes mostly bumming about the prep and not being able to eat! And the fact that he wont be able to see the baby for a week.

  • Trubrit
    Trubrit Member Posts: 5,662 Member
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks everyone. Yeah when

    Thanks everyone. Yeah when he said he was afraid of not making it out of surgery I told him he needs a new surgeon if that is one of his worries. Surgeon said ileostomy is needed to let the bottom heal without use. I know he'd be thrilled to get clear margins and not need it but I dont think thats gonna happen. I find it kind of crazy that someone can be totally blocked and not be stage 4 and he hardly had symtoms and hes stage 4. Now since hes had months of chemo im wondering what is the purpose of having lymph nodes removed? I guess that would have been a question for the surgeon. Right now hes mostly bumming about the prep and not being able to eat! And the fact that he wont be able to see the baby for a week.

    Stage 2 Stage 3`

    I myslef had a tumour the size of a man's fist, and was told I was 'this' close to a rupture, and my Cancer was classed Stage 3A.

    I have a friend who is stage 2, and her tumour was as big as mine, just hadn't broken through the Colon to spread elswhere. 

    So, yes, big tumours are not an indicator of what you are staged. 

    I love how you say 'mostly BUNMMED about.....'   It always amuses me how we use that part of our body in our daily language. I always say 'I feel like crap' then I realize what I'm saying.

    Again. My best wishes for tomorrow. 

  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks everyone. Yeah when

    Thanks everyone. Yeah when he said he was afraid of not making it out of surgery I told him he needs a new surgeon if that is one of his worries. Surgeon said ileostomy is needed to let the bottom heal without use. I know he'd be thrilled to get clear margins and not need it but I dont think thats gonna happen. I find it kind of crazy that someone can be totally blocked and not be stage 4 and he hardly had symtoms and hes stage 4. Now since hes had months of chemo im wondering what is the purpose of having lymph nodes removed? I guess that would have been a question for the surgeon. Right now hes mostly bumming about the prep and not being able to eat! And the fact that he wont be able to see the baby for a week.

    He'll do fine. He's young,
    He'll do fine. He's young, strong and in good shape. That makes the recovery a lot easier. I understand your concern re additional cancer. That is my exact fear with Steve's possible upcoming surgery. In your case, I think there will be no surprises. This must be very scary for him. It sounds like it's his first big surgery. Then there is the additional concern about the stoma. Feel free to PM me with specific questions about any issues that may develop after surgery or any questions about the ileostomy (if that even ends up happening). Steve and I are feeling like old pro's when it comes to this sort of thing.

    Good luck. Will be praying.

    Chels
  • wolfen
    wolfen Member Posts: 1,324
    Trubrit said:

    Stage 2 Stage 3`

    I myslef had a tumour the size of a man's fist, and was told I was 'this' close to a rupture, and my Cancer was classed Stage 3A.

    I have a friend who is stage 2, and her tumour was as big as mine, just hadn't broken through the Colon to spread elswhere. 

    So, yes, big tumours are not an indicator of what you are staged. 

    I love how you say 'mostly BUNMMED about.....'   It always amuses me how we use that part of our body in our daily language. I always say 'I feel like crap' then I realize what I'm saying.

    Again. My best wishes for tomorrow. 

    Jen

    Just wanted you to know my thoughts will be with you guys tomorrow.  A temp ostomy takes some getting used to, but will give everything time to rest & heal. Many members suggest speaking with an ostomy nurse beforehand to make sure the chosen ostomy site is in a good place. They can tell you about the different types of appliances & care also. I helped JBG with hers after surgery. Clean & dry are very important.

    Please update when you can.

    Luv,

    Wolfen 

  • steveandnat
    steveandnat Member Posts: 886
    Smooth surgery

    Praying that the surgery goes as planned....no surprises allowed!  Positive vibes coming your way.  Jeff

  • fatbob2010
    fatbob2010 Member Posts: 467 Member
    Good Thoughts

    Hoping the best in speedy and pain free recovery.  As others have said, I recommend that you stay focused on the moment and the immediate needs of your DH.  Let's take a miss on the idea that there is a reason to be concerned about loss during surgery, and, that there is more cancer found once the surgery is started.  

    I am not a member of the "Brown Bag" club, but, there are others on the board who are.  They can, I am sure, provide helpful comments.  

    ((HUGS)) Art

  • Aicirtap
    Aicirtap Member Posts: 55
    Praying that everything goes

    Praying that everything goes well! 

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866
    Jen

    My thoughts are with your husband and you. Surgery is never fun, especially if you're feeling ok. It can set one back for a bit. I think it's best to take things one step at a time, then you'll know how best to help him. Also, we can probably give more helpful advice.

    I hope things go very smoothly today.

    Hugs...

    phil

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Thanks everyone. He's in
    Thanks everyone. He's in surgery now. Surgeon said about 3 hrs. He was nervous but drawing comfort from the many prayers and good wishes from friends family and friends here. The pre..or nurse was able to reserve him a private room and said we could bring the baby up for shorts visits when hes up to it so that made him feel better too.
    Thank you all for your support and kindness.
  • Chelsea71
    Chelsea71 Member Posts: 1,169
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks everyone. He's in
    Thanks everyone. He's in surgery now. Surgeon said about 3 hrs. He was nervous but drawing comfort from the many prayers and good wishes from friends family and friends here. The pre..or nurse was able to reserve him a private room and said we could bring the baby up for shorts visits when hes up to it so that made him feel better too.
    Thank you all for your support and kindness.

    That's great news. Must make
    That's great news. Must make him feel better to know he'll to able to see the baby. That will give him something to look forward to. Nice that he won't have a roommate. Will likely sleep better without one. Soon you will know where things stand.
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571
    Hope everything went smoothly!

    Let us know when you can, Jen.  We're all thinking of him, and hoping for great results.  I saw he got a private room...that alone should help him heal up faster.  Nothing quite like a snoring roommate who keeps the TV on all night to slow down the healing process.  Hugs to you both (and baby too)~AA

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    Thanks...surgery went well.
    Thanks...surgery went well. Was 5 hrs...couldnt be done laparascopically. Surgeon said he had an amazing response to chemo and he had a hard time finding where the tumor was. He thinks he got clear margins but we'll know for sure next week. Ileostomy is temporary. Hubby is already doing laps around the nurses station. Complaining mostly about a painful shoulder. One nurse said it sometimes happens during laparascopic surgery from the air they use? Everyone seems to have a different opinion...but no solution!
  • Varmint5
    Varmint5 Member Posts: 384
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks...surgery went well.
    Thanks...surgery went well. Was 5 hrs...couldnt be done laparascopically. Surgeon said he had an amazing response to chemo and he had a hard time finding where the tumor was. He thinks he got clear margins but we'll know for sure next week. Ileostomy is temporary. Hubby is already doing laps around the nurses station. Complaining mostly about a painful shoulder. One nurse said it sometimes happens during laparascopic surgery from the air they use? Everyone seems to have a different opinion...but no solution!

    Great news!

    I'm so glad his surgery went well. The best thing he can do for the painful shoulder from the air is to walk, walk, walk. It will resolve. Sounds like he's on the way to a quick recovery - you'll probably have to remind him with the new ostomy not to be lifting any more than the Dr. says is ok. My daughter didn't follow that advice (had a 7 week old baby when she had her surgery) and has a large hernia for it. I think both of you will be surprised at how quickly he recovers from this seeing as he is young and otherwise healthy. Best wishes to all of you.

    Sandy

  • Aicirtap
    Aicirtap Member Posts: 55
    jen2012 said:

    Thanks...surgery went well.
    Thanks...surgery went well. Was 5 hrs...couldnt be done laparascopically. Surgeon said he had an amazing response to chemo and he had a hard time finding where the tumor was. He thinks he got clear margins but we'll know for sure next week. Ileostomy is temporary. Hubby is already doing laps around the nurses station. Complaining mostly about a painful shoulder. One nurse said it sometimes happens during laparascopic surgery from the air they use? Everyone seems to have a different opinion...but no solution!

    Great news!
    i had a

    Great news!

    i had a laparoscopic surgery three weeks ago (something minor) and had pain in the shoulder for two days. I was told that it is the gas the surgeons use to inflate the stomach during the procedure for additional room. The surgeons squeeze the gas out once they are done but some can remain and cause pain in the shoulder. I too was told to walk as medication for gas does not help in this case. 

    good recovery!