Just diagnosed with breast cancer at age 31

littleangel65 said:

Hello Alicia

As all of the other ladies have said we are here for you and each other, we learn from one another.

I know you must be so scared, I was there, and it just seems like you have to take so much in at one time.  I was worried about losing my hair, but, I finally came to some kind of peace or terms of the situation, and kinda made fun out of looking for a wig, and then I made it fun to experiment with making stylish looking scarfs after my hair fell out.

I did however, have 2 months to kinda get used to the idea, because from the time I was dx which was in late Jan. 2012, I had my surgery on March 15, 2012, and not only did I have to have my right breast removed, but my uterus was grossly enlarged to the size of a bowling ball, thank God, that wasn't cancerous, but I think what really made me come to my peace with losing my hair, was when I went in for my PET scan, and I thank Jesus everyday, that, the PET Scan didn't show that anything had spread beyond my lymph nodes.

So, I came to gripes with the hair loss, ok, so I may lose my hair, but, its hair, it will grow back.  But I honestly had fun with the wig, the cool thing with the wig, is, I just pop it on, and off I go, which vs. getting up, shampooing my hair, drying my hair, styling my hair, and on some days go through all that, just to have a bad hair day.  lol

And, when I didn't feel like wearing my wig, I had fun coming up with scarf styles to wear different ways, I got alot of compliments, and so that made up for idea that I was bald underneath the scarf. ,p

The hardest part for me, was when my hair did start growing back, it got to what I call and awkward stage... My hair is naturally thick, very thick and course.  Believe or not, I was kinda hoping my chemo would maybe cause my hair to thin out, but, it came back just as thick as before.  But as I was saying, it did get to that awkward stage, but my bangs were way too short for me, but at the same time, I was excited to see it come back, and I used to be a med.-dark blonde, well, I am 47 yrs. old, and my hair came back very dark brown???? and of course there was alot more gray, ok... I wasn't happy about that, but, it gave me a chance to once again "experiment"  I didn't want to go back to blonde right away, I knew I would have to bleach it, and I didn't want to play with the bleach yet, since I am still undergoing treatments, so I tried different shades of Red, and to be honest, I found a shade that I like, and my husband actually said he kinda likes it just as much, if not better than the blonde.

So, if you do lose your hair, take advantage of the situation, and play with what you do have, you may just suprize yourself, and make you feel good inside as well as outside.  The only good thing I can say about cancer, is that I agree with what one woman said, it does show the ones going thru it, that we have a strong inner self, that we didn't realize was there, and that we can endure this.  You are young, beautiful (I am sure), and strong, don't think that this is going to make you less attractive, you are going to surprized of how beautiful you will look, and that will show out to other people, because they will be giving you compliments.  I had so many compliments, women asking where I got my head wraps at, and how I made my scarfs look they did etc.  It just made me feel so good.  And as far as the chemo making me sick, actually, I didn't get sick at all, I would get dizzy sometimes, I had that metalic taste in my mouth, but thats about it, other than being tired, but you'll have an excuse to sleep in or take beauty naps in the afternoon. 

Take Care Alicia  (love your name, I have a daughter named Alicia)  I hope everything does come out well with your biopsy reports, but if something shows up, keep a positive attitude, and know that cancer treatment has come a long way, and there are more people surviving this, and you have every reason to be one of the surviovors!!!!  

Keep us informed, remember we are all here for each other.

littleangel65

 

Lots of positive thoughts, cyber hugs and prayers for you Alicia.  Do come back and keep posting to update us.

Hugs, Diane

Patti1967 said:

First of all let me say I am

First of all let me say I am sorry you are going through this.  I am just three months out of chemo, I had bilateral IDC and had a bilateral mastectomy with a total of 16 lymp nodes removed.  Chemo was hard but know that if you end up on that path, you can and will get through it.  I lost all hair from head to toe.  My hair is coming back, although more gray then brown:)  I am 45 and always dyed my hair, it was quite a shock to see me with gray hair, but at least it was my hair!  Wigs never looked right on me, to me any way.  My daughter seems to think I was fighting not looking like my old self.  She's probably right.  I did and still do wear many different scarfs (my hair is still very short) and in the middle of winter I had cute pink beanies to help keep my head warm:)

Waiting is always hard, we have all been there:)  In the mean time, like others have said, write down every question you can think of.  I really believe our knowledge during this battle is so very important. 

Thoughts and prayers,

Patti

 

Do you have your MRI results Alicia?

Praying for you,

Megan

LoveBabyJesus said:

DX at 32 here!

Hi Alicia -- I am so sorry you are going through this at such a young age (not that there is an ideal age to deal with it), and so close to your birthday. I was dx at 32 in 2011. I harvested my eggs (no kids yet), took chemo, radiation and currently on tamoxifen for 5-10 years (possibly 10), and I will be on pills forever. I am from NYC and I was wondering if we can chat more, if you need information I can maybe help. I am been treated at Sloan, but I also know of a few great Doctors in the area. I can get a listing from Sloan for you too if you'd like. Let me know.

You've come to the right place! These ladies are AMAZING. They helped me so much during my journey, and they still do. If you need chemo or radiation or pills, whatever it is you'll need to treat your cancer, we'll be able to guide you on what to do to try and minimize the issues that can arise from treatments. You will do GREAT!

I am going to tell you one thing I did that I wished I never did, and that was: LOOK ONLINE FOR INFORMATION that didn't apply to me at all! You cannot diagnose yourself, and certainly, you cannot assume other people's experiences are the same as yours. Everyone is unique with their tumors, stages, treatment plans and outcomes (a stage 4 may survive vs. someone who is early stage and vise verse (of course you would want to catch it early, but it doesn't guarantee anything. Everyone is different.). What you can do is listen to your doctors, trust their plan, have faith and stay positive no matter what. That is 1/2 of the battle already won.  Additionally, you will find a level of strength you never thought you had. Promise!

About the hat to prevent your hair to fall, I would NOT do it, and here's why: If I have to put myself through chemo, why would I want to prevent my scalp from getting the treatment? There is a chance you can get metastasis if you don't treat that part of your body, so why do it? If your Dr. wants you to take chemo (and you should ask lots of questions first), please be sure it hits your entire body so there are no regrets later (no what ifs). I had my hair down to my hip and I didn't care to lose it because I was fighting a monster. When you fight cancer you need to become a much bigger monster than cancer is - YOU CAN DO THIS! Treatments are much easier than what they used to be.

I have history of cancer in my family but this is only 15% of all breast cancers. 85% of breast cancers have no family history. Additionally, no one knows why we get it. There are thousands of mutations that scientists have not been able to identified (only BRCA). I hope you get the genetic testing to make sure you aren't carrying the gene. But don't worry, because this is rare.

I wish you the best of luck with everything. Please know the diagnosis will probably be the worst part of all of this. Once you have a plan, everything else will come into place. You will feel more confident. I wish you a SMOOTH recovery with no complications.

Ah! One more thing: This is YOUR TIME now. This means, you tell who you want to tell. If you want to keep things private this is fine too. It is your life, your party, your recovery. I decided to keep mine private but bad news travels fast. If you find people contacting you out of the blue (it happened to me!), you have the right to choose wheather you want them as part of your support team or not. I suggest you find someone (could be a family member or a close friend) who can do the communication for you. Someone who can keep others informed for you instead of you having to deal with the stress (and dealing with keeping THEM calm, when you need to stay calm). You decide how you want this done. No one else! Remember that.

Sending prayers your way sweet sister!

Hugs

P.S. I am here if you need to chat. I am turning 35 next month.

 

It is natural and normal to be scared.  That's why this site and the pink sisters are so great.  We can help you, comfort you and just be here for you.

Praying and sending hugs,

Jan

LoveBabyJesus said:

DX at 32 here!

Hi Alicia -- I am so sorry you are going through this at such a young age (not that there is an ideal age to deal with it), and so close to your birthday. I was dx at 32 in 2011. I harvested my eggs (no kids yet), took chemo, radiation and currently on tamoxifen for 5-10 years (possibly 10), and I will be on pills forever. I am from NYC and I was wondering if we can chat more, if you need information I can maybe help. I am been treated at Sloan, but I also know of a few great Doctors in the area. I can get a listing from Sloan for you too if you'd like. Let me know.

You've come to the right place! These ladies are AMAZING. They helped me so much during my journey, and they still do. If you need chemo or radiation or pills, whatever it is you'll need to treat your cancer, we'll be able to guide you on what to do to try and minimize the issues that can arise from treatments. You will do GREAT!

I am going to tell you one thing I did that I wished I never did, and that was: LOOK ONLINE FOR INFORMATION that didn't apply to me at all! You cannot diagnose yourself, and certainly, you cannot assume other people's experiences are the same as yours. Everyone is unique with their tumors, stages, treatment plans and outcomes (a stage 4 may survive vs. someone who is early stage and vise verse (of course you would want to catch it early, but it doesn't guarantee anything. Everyone is different.). What you can do is listen to your doctors, trust their plan, have faith and stay positive no matter what. That is 1/2 of the battle already won.  Additionally, you will find a level of strength you never thought you had. Promise!

About the hat to prevent your hair to fall, I would NOT do it, and here's why: If I have to put myself through chemo, why would I want to prevent my scalp from getting the treatment? There is a chance you can get metastasis if you don't treat that part of your body, so why do it? If your Dr. wants you to take chemo (and you should ask lots of questions first), please be sure it hits your entire body so there are no regrets later (no what ifs). I had my hair down to my hip and I didn't care to lose it because I was fighting a monster. When you fight cancer you need to become a much bigger monster than cancer is - YOU CAN DO THIS! Treatments are much easier than what they used to be.

I have history of cancer in my family but this is only 15% of all breast cancers. 85% of breast cancers have no family history. Additionally, no one knows why we get it. There are thousands of mutations that scientists have not been able to identified (only BRCA). I hope you get the genetic testing to make sure you aren't carrying the gene. But don't worry, because this is rare.

I wish you the best of luck with everything. Please know the diagnosis will probably be the worst part of all of this. Once you have a plan, everything else will come into place. You will feel more confident. I wish you a SMOOTH recovery with no complications.

Ah! One more thing: This is YOUR TIME now. This means, you tell who you want to tell. If you want to keep things private this is fine too. It is your life, your party, your recovery. I decided to keep mine private but bad news travels fast. If you find people contacting you out of the blue (it happened to me!), you have the right to choose wheather you want them as part of your support team or not. I suggest you find someone (could be a family member or a close friend) who can do the communication for you. Someone who can keep others informed for you instead of you having to deal with the stress (and dealing with keeping THEM calm, when you need to stay calm). You decide how you want this done. No one else! Remember that.

Sending prayers your way sweet sister!

Hugs

P.S. I am here if you need to chat. I am turning 35 next month.

 

I agree with you on the caps, my wifes Onc said absolutly not as cancer cells can be in the scalp and hair follicles and the caps can prevent the chemo for reaching those cells. Like everyone has told you  "THIS IS DOABLE" and there is so much support to be found here. Do not be afraid to reach out to others, cry, be mad but most of all FIGHT and never give up hope. I am not a BC survivor but my wife is currently going through it. DId her chemo and just got done with her bi-lateral mast. It has been rough, but we are comeing to the end of the road and we did it, SO CAN YOU !! God Bless.

Dennis

CypressCynthia said:

Alicia, I was diagnosed at

Alicia, I was diagnosed at age 33 with Stage 3, just days before my 4 year old daughter's birthday party.  My sister did the party for me because it was all planned.  One of my big goals, at the time, was to see my daughter's 8th birthday.  I thought that if I could get her to 8 it might be a little easier on her.

Believe it or not, that was 26 years ago.  I am 60 yrs old and continue to battle breast cancer (after a long remission). My daughter is 31 and getting married next year.

Prepare for the worst, but keep fighting!  Be as adherent to therapy as you possibly can.  And don't let anyone ever put an expiration date on you!!!

Big, big hugs!

Hi!  I am new to this site.  I too was 33 and had a 4 year old and a 8 year old.  I was stage 2 with 1 lymgh glad and a terrible family history.  I had a mastectomy and 12 rounds of CMF.  I was good for 23 years.  3 years ago I relapsed.  So now Stage 4 wtih two tumors and 9 bone spots.  I have had Femara, Tamoifen, deadly Afintor and now just had my first shots of faslodex.  Have you tried Faslodex?  I am having terrible mood swings and anxiety.  I was doing farily well but have gone to the bottom and barely hanging on with little to no hope which is definitely not like me.  So trying to find out if anyone else has gone through this.  Its only been two weeks and just cant fathom anymore but don't want to give up either.  I know it can be so much worse and have 7 grandchildren to love much more.  Just need a dose of hope again I guess.  Thanks for listening