Today's scans not good

luv4lacrosse
luv4lacrosse Member Posts: 1,410 Member
edited April 2013 in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I guess the wheels are starting to fall off the wagon. I have not yet spoke with my Oncologist, but the read on my scan is "progression of disease." I have significant growth of the tumors in my Mediastynum, and the pneumonia they said I had 6 weeks earlier is gone. I am a "mental wreck" as this is a huge blow to handle after a 20-24 week ride of success. I've had so much good luck of late, my wife got the job of her life, I retired so I could focus on staying healthy, moving to Texas, and my house in STL even sold before it was listed. I know I need to go to a plan B, and I don't even know what that is yet, but being strong mentally has been a huge challenge for me of late. I feel like such a whimp, especially after reading of others real battles on this site.

I could really use some advice on the mental aspect as I am in the best physical shape of my life and to look at me you would never guess I have a life threatening disease.

 Best

Mike

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Comments

  • longtermsurvivor
    longtermsurvivor Member Posts: 1,842 Member
    #2
    Mike

    I am sorry to hear the news.  I've lived with recurrance, remission and an unknown future for a couple of years now.  Currently I am not aware of a problem, but understand that it could come any day again.  Your future, nor mine is written in stone.  Even now.  Listen to what they advise you, and just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  That's all any of us can do.

     

    best

     

    Pat

  • NJShore
    NJShore Member Posts: 429 Member
    #3
    Mike

    Mike,

    I am sorry you are facing this news, particularly without hearing your doctors opinion. It's tough to know results without the definition and assessment of the doctors words. If I have learned anything from cancer, having it and taking care of Dan, is that it is an emotional roller coaster. A really wild roller coaster. One minute we are up because we feel good or the doctor says something postive and very quickly something terrifies us or something you see on a scan is new and it's not what we expected, then we are back up again. This is all happening very quickly, and it's difficult to emotionally and mentally keep up.

    You are not weak, you have fought so hard, and once you are able to breathe in deep again, and recover from this 'punch', you will be strong again, it's what any of us would do. And we will all be beside you, cheering you on, keeping you tucked in pockets and saying prayers that this too is just a challenge you can handle.

    I think you are completely normal in your response... emotionally this isn't easy, take a bit of time, you will see with information you will begin to feel stronger.. it's just the waiting game isn't fun.

    Hugs, Kari

  • donfoo
    donfoo Member Posts: 1,773 Member
    #4
    Sorry to hear

    Mike,

    It is a bummer for sure to read this phrase but try to consult with the Oncologist and learn what their opinions are for going forward. I have no knowledge of where there is progression so no help there but you have been really strong so stay strong and be clear understanding all the options presented. I am sure there is a path forward that offers renewed hope and recovery to sustained health.  don

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #5
    Dang Mike

    Sure not the news any of us wants to hear....

    Pat has some good advice above...

    My thoughts and prayers are with you brother...

    JG

  • rachel12yrsuv
    rachel12yrsuv Member Posts: 435
    #6
    Mike,
    I am so sorry to hear
    Mike,

    I am so sorry to hear this, but hopefully its not as bad as it appears to you right now. Try, hardest act to do for a cancer patient or survivor, not to worry until onc tells you the scenerio and a plan.

    Wwe are all here to help you whatever path you are about to venture on, prayers being said tonight that somehow those words are no big deal.


    God Bless,

    Rachel
  • cureitall66
    cureitall66 Member Posts: 913
    #7
    Plan B...

    Sorry for the news. I think once you speak to your Oncologist you will know where to go with Plan B. I agree with Pat and slow down and put one foot in front of the other. You are in my pocket of prayers to give you some peace of mind very soon.

    ~C

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #8
    Sorry

    Mike,

     

    Feels like you have been sucker punched but being in such good physical shape will bode well for you.  Keep fighting, keep living each day.

     

    Matt

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #9
    This is a man-sized blow, Mike....

    so there is no reason to see yourself as a whimp....not to mention you have battled like a he man for the last many months doing chemo every week.  I guess I can only tell you how I'd try to handle it....I'd accept it as a blow, and accept how I feel about it now, knowing that in a couple days I will probably be back in the ring...ready for another fight.  You feel good, you're body is in ultra-shape...your general attitude is good.  Every person in the world would have to recover from the blow (think Mohammed Ali in the ring.....one smack and you'd be reeling, but you'll still be there for round 2). 

    We'll be keeping you tucked....we seem to have some pretty powerful pockets around here!

    p

  • debbiejeanne
    debbiejeanne Member Posts: 3,102 Member
    #10
    Mike, so sorry to hear this

    Mike, so sorry to hear this news.  you are far from being a whimp.  this type of blow would knock anyone down.  as the others said, tucking u n my pocket and lots of prayers coming your way.  take a deep breath and try to calm down.  be sure to let us know what the doc says.

    God bless,

    debbiejeanne

  • HobbsDoggy
    HobbsDoggy Member Posts: 276
    #11
    Hope Its Tough

    I know how hard hope is to come by when we get the bad news.  A good team of doctors and good support at home can get us though a lot of suffering and bad news.  For me when I get the news about my cancer, good or bad, the best thing is for me to have a clear set of questions and responses when I talk to the doctors.  A second round with the beast must be very very hard to even think about, but others have done it and come out the other side and I put my hope in them.  Wishing you the very very best and some good news on your next steps.

  • hwt
    hwt Member Posts: 2,328 Member
    #12
    HobbsDoggy said:

    Hope Its Tough

    I know how hard hope is to come by when we get the bad news.  A good team of doctors and good support at home can get us though a lot of suffering and bad news.  For me when I get the news about my cancer, good or bad, the best thing is for me to have a clear set of questions and responses when I talk to the doctors.  A second round with the beast must be very very hard to even think about, but others have done it and come out the other side and I put my hope in them.  Wishing you the very very best and some good news on your next steps.

    Mike

    Good thoughts and prayers for you. I can tell you that my cousin was only accepted for a clinical trial because of his otherwise good health and habits 8 years ago. He has been cancer free from mets melanoma the last 8 years. Your otherwise good health can carry you much further than if that wasn't the case. The unknown is understandably scary. I'm sad to know you have more twists and turns in your journey.

    God Bless

    Candi

  • Hard12Find
    Hard12Find Member Posts: 218 Member
    #13
    Mike

    I too am sorry to hear your news, you have been in the fight for a while now......Just sending prayers and best wishes for a way forward....hang in there and we are all here for yu...

    Jim

  • D Lewis
    D Lewis Member Posts: 1,581 Member
    #14
    So sorry to hear your bad news

    Mike - this really sucks.  Holding you in my thoughts and hoping you and your oncologist can figure out the best possible plan to deal with this beast.  I can only echo what everyone else has said; just keep putting one foot on front of the other.  We're right beside you.

    Deb

  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #15
    D Lewis said:

    So sorry to hear your bad news

    Mike - this really sucks.  Holding you in my thoughts and hoping you and your oncologist can figure out the best possible plan to deal with this beast.  I can only echo what everyone else has said; just keep putting one foot on front of the other.  We're right beside you.

    Deb

    Totally stinks Mike ....

    I already know you are aware that we all hate this news for you.....and I know you know if any of us could make it all go away we would ...It's times like this all any of us can do is not look to ourselves but only to our loved ones and our God.

    I have no clue as to your religious beliefs, not everybody subscribes to what I do so I mean it as no offense but only my opinon (since you asked on the mental strenght issue) ...

    I have no idea how I would have made it through my ordeal without my belief and leaning on the good Lord, I really don't.  I am truly amazed at those who can get through it without that same faith or/and faith only in themselves (I don't mean that in a rude way) ....but I'm glad I don't have too find out.

    So though I wish I could do so much more, I can only pray and ask for a 1.  Healing and wisdom from your team of doctors  2. A special strength for you in your heart and mind 3.  Strength and peace for your wife and sons

    ...so I did that ...and will continue to do so ....

    Keep us posted Mike ...we care!!

     

    Tim

  • vermontgirl
    vermontgirl Member Posts: 66
    #16
    wait to hear from MD

    waiting is the worst, only thing worse than that is waiting with partial knowledge of what is going on.  Once you see your MD, hear his opinion and plan.  It does take a while for the breath to come back after the C sucker punch.  But really.....you have no choice but to fight back with a plan based on knowledge.  You are in good physical shape....so focus on what you have control over.....one foot in front of the other as Pat said.....you can control that....keep moving forward.

     

    Keep us posted.  I'm sending positive thoughts, prayers, and mental strength your way.

    Kirsten

  • Pumakitty
    Pumakitty Member Posts: 652
    #17
    So sorry

    I hate to read this update.  I pray that you will get some good news and a new plan.  Hang in there you can not stop fighting.

     

    Kathy

  • gagbit53
    gagbit53 Member Posts: 1
    #18
    Quality of LIFE....

    First, as a "Newbie" to the Board/Forum, but certainly not the disease of cancer (spouse has Advanced Thyroid CA), I want to place the focus on your query, Mike.   However, reading through many of the responses, your answer is in their answers, and YOUR statement: "...I am in the best physical shape of my life and to look at me you would never guess I have this threatening disease".  Robert's disease has taken us TO, and THROUGH, all the possible scenarios.  And the most important lesson we have learned is focus on the now....for him, quality of life has decreased (only in the sense the "Mr. I-Can-Do-It-By-Myself" sometimes is unable to, and sometimes actually needs...and ASKS....for help), but as with you, to look at him, you would never realize the extent of his disease.

  • nick770
    nick770 Member Posts: 195
    #19
    Hang in there and keep up the

    Hang in there and keep up the fight, It sucks bad to fight again espcially metassis (I know from experience) but your attitude will get you far. 

    And for being in the best shape of your life that is a huge blessing and continue to keep pushing, it means your healthy.

    And you not being a whimp, this is a very difficult diagnoses to hear. I wish I had your strength Smile

  • VivianLee5689
    VivianLee5689 Member Posts: 546
    #20
    nick770 said:

    Hang in there and keep up the

    Hang in there and keep up the fight, It sucks bad to fight again espcially metassis (I know from experience) but your attitude will get you far. 

    And for being in the best shape of your life that is a huge blessing and continue to keep pushing, it means your healthy.

    And you not being a whimp, this is a very difficult diagnoses to hear. I wish I had your strength Smile

    Praying Mike

    All I can do is pray.  I know this must be super difficult for you.  I want to say everything will be ok, but after what I have been through I just don't know.  I can tell you that your attitude does have an impact to results.  I know David died, but he most likely would have went in November had it not been for his intent to stay with me and his mother through the holidays.  I hope you are a man of faith, because that is what got David through.  Even when he went into hospice his faith never waivered even those his body became so weak.  I am praying for Plan B to be just what you need.

  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #21
    VivianLee5689 said:

    Praying Mike

    All I can do is pray.  I know this must be super difficult for you.  I want to say everything will be ok, but after what I have been through I just don't know.  I can tell you that your attitude does have an impact to results.  I know David died, but he most likely would have went in November had it not been for his intent to stay with me and his mother through the holidays.  I hope you are a man of faith, because that is what got David through.  Even when he went into hospice his faith never waivered even those his body became so weak.  I am praying for Plan B to be just what you need.

    progression of disease

    You know, Mike, I'm sure not a doctor but surely, just as with anything else, there are increments by which something like "progression" of a disease is actually measured.  Maybe it is minimal, treatable or even controllable.

    Also, I understand that in Texas when it comes to cancer they play a little kick axx - maybe that's what you need to be getting ready for.

    Agree with another poster - longtermsurvivor, I believe - that none of our futures are written in stone.  Could be you are going to need a big stone because yours is going to be a LONG future.

    Come on - you are in the best shape of your life - this is just a bump in the road. 

    Hold on and ride this thing through.  You got things to do with your life!

     

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