My Oncologist Visit *UPDATE*

There is something to say about Post Traumatic Stress, Mary.  You have had on going health issues and I feel fustrated on your behalf for all they have put you through.  

One has to see a doctor that specializes with mental health issues.  Oncologist are for cancer, radiologist are for radiation problems, you know what I mean.  I rarely discuss any mental health issues with any of my doctors as they are specialist in their field only.   I don't see anyone, I come here, I guess.  I did join a local support group shortly after my original diagnose.

Long gone is the old doc who gave advise as well as a bottle of cure all pills.  I remember someone giving the advise when I was going to see a lawyer for the first time for my divorce.  My friend advise to stick to the issues and not the woes.  He isn't there to pass out kleenex and you can't afford to accept them at his prices.  

I do believe that many women and men who have gone through the cancer experience need to see someone to discuss the issues of having had this disease.  

Now you aren't out of the woods yet.  I am so mad at how they handled you.  I know you have dear friends, let them help you with this along with your dear husband.

I'm hoping the scans will be inflammation, just hoping....  keep us posted, dear Mary.  We are all on your side.

Best,

Doris

eihtak said:

Mary....

Hi, I don't post often enough but am often scanning for topics of interest. Emotional healing is soooo important to me.

3 yrs ago my husband had a stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma (a blood cancer), then last year a full bone marrow transplant......he is recovering well.  2 yrs ago I underwent treatment for Stage3b anal cancer, colostomy surgery, chemo, radiation,.....I was very ill and spent 3 months in a nursing home. 1 yr ago I was treated for a rare breast cancer (secretory carcinoma), a double mastectomy.......I am doing well also! (or so I think????)

What I'm getting at is, our doctors and medical staff have been top-notch in all ways. They have gone the extra mile to get us both physically in a good place, along with some help from above! But....without the emotional support from on-line and occasional one on one proffesionals I'm not sure how I'd have made it through these past few years.  It is so important to address the mental issues associated with diagnoses, treatment, and what I call "after the storm" (recovery) and living with cancer. When I feel like my mind is "treated" it is much easier to treat my body.  I have recently went back to college (at 54yrs) to finish a degree in human services. My goal is to become a better informed, volunteer patient advocate/mentor in a cancer center. There doesn't seem to be enough awareness by our oncs, rads, etc., about the need for this, so if you have found a social worker you are comfortable with, do continue to see them if you feel the need. I was lucky enough to have some issues addresed during my husbands transplant, and then to have a PCP with a heart of gold, along with great on-line support groups.

I will keep you and all in my thoughts and prayers for whole body health.

 

You have dealt with so much physically, lately, along with other stressors, that your emotional side has to be upset.  I have been going to group therapy for over a year--I love it and look forward to those 2 hours every week.  I did the one-on-one thing with a therapist, but since she never had cancer, I didn't feel like I was really getting what I needed.  Those people in my group (who all have had cancer and are either done with treatment or still in treatment) really get it.  We tackle each others problems and issues as a group and I have gotten so much good advice and insight from my fellow group members.  They are able to understand me from a survivor point of view.  The group is lead by a licensed therapist as well.

Anyway, try to stay positive and distracted as you await the tests and results.  My best positive energy coming to you.

Hugs, Renee

Hi Mary,

it's been more than 4 years now since I was diagnosed and I still feel like my head has not come to grips with what has happened to me.  When we are diagnosed, everyone tells you what needs to be done.  Doctors give us a game plan.  Then after the surgery and other treatments we are sent out into the world again looking good on the outside, but feeling different on the inside.  But we can deal with this, we are women, right!!  No!! Some women are amazing. They go right back to the way they were.  Nothing is going to stop them.  I know this because I keep being compared to one such super woman.  Well, not all of us are that strong!  Some of us feel like a hundred years old while taking drugs like Aromasin, tamoxifen, etc., yet we don't want to complain because we are cured.  That surgery took care of everything! It's a miracle, NOT!!  What I am trying to say is I think breast cancer plays horrible mind games on us all.  You feel a pain and we try so hard to make it go away.  You remind me of myself, I don't want to bother anyone.  So what I have pain, it must be nothing.  I remember your post about not feeling like you belonged here because you did not have chemo, but this is why everyone should know how important it is that we are all here.  Breast cancer Stage 0 to Stage 4 will blow your mind and we try to pretend that we are OK.  God bless the women who truly can move on after cancer, but for many of us it's not that easy.  I work out to try and feel better physically, but mentally it's a different game.  

I will pray that your scans all come back good on the 11th, but I will also pray that you can emotionally feel better too.  I am so sorry you have to go through this.  

Many, many hugs and positive thoughts coming your way!!

Ginny

MsGebby said:

Oh ginny

thank you so much for your response.  It's nice to know I'm not alone but it's also frustrating to know I'm not alone.

Everyone who knows me says "You are so strong.  Nothing can hold you down"  In part, that is true.  What they see is that strong person because I don't see any reason to show weakness.  Throughout my entire life, I've had some sort of fight to battle.  I think most of us do.  I think pushing everything in the opposite direction helps me cope.  I don't want to be weak so I decide to be strong.  I don't want to cry, so I laugh.  I don't want to make people angry, so I placate them.  It's a pattern with me.  When I was in my early 40s, I had memories and flashbacks of my childhood.  O M G ...  there was no way I could hold it together.  It took me 7 years to get through all the crap I had buried for so long.  Some how, I see therapy as something that is needed when one can't cope.   Right now, I don't see this as being something I can't handle.  It's a phase and I will get through it.

Honestly though, the medical and pharmaceutical industries NEED to help people who have a devastating disease.  My SW did say that she thought the medical industry is so behind on this topic.  And thought the time is now to get something started to help us lost souls get through.  Maybe some of the survivors (with knowledge on how to get this type of program started) could try to get a program started.  I wish I knew how.

Anyway, I pray that you find a happy medium (as I will try to do) with all of this.  It's a really tough time in a survivor's life.  But the flip side of that is .... WE ARE SURVIVORS!

I am NoT looking forward to Thursday.  I don't want to go.  But for peace of mind I will get it done and pray that there is an explanation that is not life threatening.

xoxo

Mary

 

Hi Mary... I too have had so much going on in my life the past few years... Starting with my fathers death to mothers heart failure.. granddaughters near death and needing air lifted, loosing my job and grandsons anaphylactic reactions and now my breast cancer... Stress is the worst next to fear.. Part of the training I recieved while in college was that the emotional well being of a person is just as important as the physical well being... Have they mention that the pain could be caused by an irritation in the chest wall (costochondritis or pluericy)? lets hope that that is the cause.  Both very treatable.  If you feel that the sessions with the social worker are of benefit to you, then please continue... I will say a prayer for you tonight and for all of the pink sisters... Hugs and Prayers... Kathy

MsGebby said:

Hi Kathy ....
I understand

Hi Kathy ....

I understand the connection of stress/fear with overall wellbeing.  But being able to manage the physical and mental at the same levels is pretty hard to do.  Reading your response made me want to reach out and hug you.  OMG ... so much on your plate!  I hope you were able to use your education and deal with the stress.  

 

As for the pain, pleuracy was ruled out but I have not heard about costochrodtis from any doctor.  I did read about it prior to my visits though.  I am a bundle of nerves while waiting for the scans.  I picked up the Readi-Cat and prednisone today.   I've been through quite a bit after being diagnosed with breast cancer with regards to my lungs and chest region.  I thought it was OVER when my last scan showed nodules were stable. So this is really spinning my world out of control right now.  I honestly thought "I'm done with it and now it's time to live my life again".  Oh well ...

 

Thank you for responding.  I love this board because of people like you.

 

Take care,

Mary

and go along with you for that scan.  I'm glad your oncologist is doing the bone scan and I hope it's clear as a bell and your mind can be put at ease.  In the meantime, I'm sure you're getting that hollow feeling in your gut often simply because she ordered the doggone thing.     And this is what the rest of the population doesn't get - if we have something "off", our oncologists take it seriously.  They don't assume it's nothing unless they really believe it's noting.  Remember, Mary, it's her job to take symptoms seriously and it would be irresponsible to not order a scan after you've been in pain so long.  It sounds like you're in very good hands.  And you're in my prayers for good results.

Suzanne

MsGebby said:

It's just so hard to breath

It's just so hard to breath at times.  I know my doctor is doing everything right.  I have no doubt when it comes to her decisions.  But the hollow feeling you get in your stomach every time something is out of whack ....  ggggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I picked up the Readi-Cat yesterday and the prednisone pills and will start both tomorrow.  Gawd I can't breath.  I am praying it's something that is easily treatable.  I can't accept anything else.  

Breath. Mary . Breath!

Thank you Ms Suzanne.  I haven't seen you online recently.  I pray you are doing well.  Enjoy the spring!

xoxo

Mary

Hi Mary,

I can''t wait until the 11th so your waiting game can be over.  I know what you are going through because I once had such horrible pain in my right hip for almost a month.  When I finally went for an MRI it was osteopenia and arthritis.  I thought for sure it was bone mets.  I pray, pray and will pray some more that it is inflammation, like Doris suggested.  As survivors recurrence is always our first thought even though we tuck away the thought for as long as possible.  I have everything possible crossed for you Mary and you are in my thoughts. 

Please hold on!!  Sending you multiple hugs!!

Ginny

MsGebby said:

When I feel like my mind is

When I feel like my mind is "treated" it is much easier to treat my body.

This one sentence resonates with me.  2 very special people in my life said to me today "take care of yourself first.  Don't worry about others.  You are number 1".  Which is not easy for me.  I am always trying to help others.  But I think I got it today.  I think I understand.  My emotional well being is up there with my physical well being.   

It does boggle the mind as WHY there is no lecture/course offered to help survivors figure out what happens next.  I've been out of treatment for a year now and just never really felt I needed to do anything.  I just figured I would blend in with the crowd like I did when I was "normal".   I don't think cancer has changed my way of thinking.  It has made me feel envy for those who have not been victimized by this disease because their lives are much more normal then ours.  I try to be normal.  But with all these little aches and pains, it can't be assumed that "it's nothing".  That's what I've been doing.  Just shrugging things off until something truly doesn't feel right.  My doctors were not happy that I waited 2 weeks to see anybody about the pain that is attacking my body.  They didn't understand that I just don't take everything so seriously.   I would think they would be happy that I am not calling and bugging them with every little thing!

 

Thanks for replying to this ever so complex yet common situation.  My prayers and love to you.  

 

xoxo

Mary

Mary,

I understand you so well. You have every right to be angry. This is a horrible situation. Get the anger out of you. I have so much envy now for healthy people too. It is just about survival, there is nothing good comes out of a cancer experince. i do not think so. just you have to carry on. I am having a lot of unpleasant small health issues too. Like very painfull recirrent urinary tract infections. Constant antibiotics than dirahhea , then all again. i can not walk or run which are two thing made me feel better. I hpoe this cycle neds like you.

Take care