Mom doesn't want surgery

When my husband decided against further treatment, I was in agreement with him.  He is 76 and has gone thru laryngeal cancer (35 radiation and 3 chemo, then surgery).  Then in 2012 when he was going to have a procedure for a TEP cancer was found at the cervical of his esophagus.  At first he didn't want to undergo radiation and chemo again (first time in late 2010).  Surgery wasn't an option due to previous radiation, his age and the serious side effects that could occur.  So he underwent another 35 radiation and 7 chemo this time.  PET/CT and endoscopy showed clear in September/October.  Follow up PET/CT scan in January showed something in his right lung and a recurrence and large at the cervical of the esophagus.  He underwent a needle biopsy of his lung which showed cancer.  H&N Specialist did an endoscope and dilation and said the tumor was large and that due to the spread surgery was out, which my husband said he wouldn't do anyway.  When we met with the oncologist he said chemo wouldn't cure, only prolong and could hasten.  My husband had already decided against any further treatment.  He chose quality over quantity of time left.  To date he is doing well.  Not much pain, works in the yard, goes the the store, and pretty much does what he wants.

The surgery is hard at any age but you need to let your mother make the decision, because after all the decision is hers.  There is a lot on the internet about this type of surgery and all the side effects that many have, while others do good.  Just remember that everyone is different in how they respond to treatment.  And just because she doesn't want the surgery, doesn't mean the cancer is still there or won't come back even with the surgery because it does.  Esophageal cancer is aggressive.  My aunt went thru many rounds of chemo, radiation and surgery but still lose the battle after 3 1/2 years of fighting she said enough.  She was 71 when diagnosed and the surgery was hard on her.  She was in good health before the diagnosis.

Believe me when I said I know how hard it is when your loved ones make the decision that you don't want to hear, but it is their decision after all.

Wishing the best to your mother and you.  Sharon

I had stage III EC in 2009. I did nine weeks of chemo which shrunk the tumor from a baseball size to a BB. Surgery was next with the upper third of my stomach being removed and the bottom half of my esophagus. Nine more weeks of chemo. The pathology of the tissue removed revealed stage I with no lymph nodes affected. (Praise the Lord!) I sleep propped up, don't eat as much, dump almost daily. Otherwise, Life is great!

There is nothing easy about any of this, including the decisions which must be made.  I was diagnosed in April of '12 and am now just seven months out of treatment, 27 radiations and 6 chemo.  I was pressured, to some extentd, by my radiation oncologist, to have the surgury and simultaniously discouraged by my primary oncologist.  To be fair, I must tell you that I have a tumor on my kidney competing for thier attention.  I went to another renowned hospital for a second opinion regarding surgury and got no new information.  Given that surgury is no guarentee of cure I opted not to put myself through the recovery and not to make more difficult, kidney treatment should it become imperative during recovery from EC surgury.  My oncologist told me that I would never know whether I had made the "right" decision regardless of the outcome and he is right. What is important to me is that I reach a level of acceptance suitable to all outcomes.  I have, and it sounds as though your Mom has, as well.  I am showing NED after my second PET and while that is the best news possible, it only means what it means!  Today I am well and surrounded by the people I love the most, as is your Mom.  Love and respect her choices.  Be at Peace,

Gavin