unempathitic nurse, really rude

sephie
sephie Member Posts: 650 Member
in Anal Cancer #1

ok, guys, I am 3 years 8 months post treatment and  i am sooooooo blessed with a good report on all tests (had 7 insertions of various tubes and fingers into my anus)  at MD anderson including ct scan with barium enema....  i have NEVER been treated with anything but kindness at this institution but this appt.  was horrible at my colorectal surgeons while I was waiting to have the procto.... had to wait almost 3  hours in the room with gown on before anyone came in to even do the preliminary questioning.....finally at 2.5 hours I tried to speak to nurse and i was practically hyper ventilating from the anxiety and fear of pain that i did come on too strongly when i talked to her ... she was soooooo rude to me and my husband.....i realize docs get behind but we had not even been informed at all during that long wait ( i could have gone to my radiology oncolgy appt and come back for procto if she had just told me what was happening).....also she curtly answered my hubbys question.....then,  when we finally got through with the procto and walked out, i told her thankyou and she just glared at me and did not even say anything....... anyway i did have all good reports  so this is minor in comparison.....  thx for letting me vent......sephie

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Comments

  • z
    z Member Posts: 1,414 Member
    #2
    Sephie

    I am so glad everything came out all right.  We are the customers and we need to be treated with respect, there is no need for anyone to be rude to us.  We have a right to know how long it will be, maybe not down to the minute but a generalized time.  I know one time I had to wait for my oncologist for 2.5 hours and was so nervous because I was waiting for scan results.  Apparently, a patient had to be rushed to the hospital, which I understnd things like this happen.  I hope your next visit will be more pleasant.

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
    #3
    Sephie
    I am glad that your test results were good. There is no excuse for the treatment that you received at the hospital. I would not let it go unreported. Every hospital has a patient ombudsman. For future patients, you need to report this. It is unacceptable. Imagine this treatment if you were also getting bad news?

    Glad you are well!
  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
    #4
    I'm so glad for you too, that

    I'm so glad for you too, that your tests came out ok. Like z, I've had to wait on occasion when there was an emergency of some kind. Since I WAS that emergency in the past, I do understand the situation (but they could have at least told you what was going on so you could do other things while waiting and not have to worry so much). As for the nurse, hopefully she feels bad about treating you like that - she was maybe having a real bad day herself. No excuse, but it does happen (I guess to all of us at one time or another). Hope things in the future go back to the good way they've been for most of your visits.

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #5
    courtesy or lack of courtesy

    Vent away; I've sure done my fair share.

    But I never say thank you to someone who treats me inappropriately, unprofessionally or rudely and I never wait more than an hour in the waiting room or 30 minutes in an exam room dressed in a gown. But that's just me. 

  • sephie
    sephie Member Posts: 650 Member
    #6
    LaCh said:

    courtesy or lack of courtesy

    Vent away; I've sure done my fair share.

    But I never say thank you to someone who treats me inappropriately, unprofessionally or rudely and I never wait more than an hour in the waiting room or 30 minutes in an exam room dressed in a gown. But that's just me. 

    lach, i agree

    laCh , you are right in your thinking but   my thankyou to her came out of my mouth automatically before i  had time to think rationally ....  My hubby did not speak to her at all as we walked out----his brain works better than mine under duress.....we drive into Houston for 7 hours so i felt that we needed to finish this appt.  even though i was upset.... Thanks to every one for  your kind replies and yes,  i have had to wait as long as 5 hours before due to 2 emergencies---so i do understand about that circumstance but we were kept informed.....  thanks again to all of you.....sephie

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
    #7
    LaCh said:

    courtesy or lack of courtesy

    Vent away; I've sure done my fair share.

    But I never say thank you to someone who treats me inappropriately, unprofessionally or rudely and I never wait more than an hour in the waiting room or 30 minutes in an exam room dressed in a gown. But that's just me. 

    Lach
    How are you doing? Have you been able to walk the dog yet? I saw some spring flowers trying to break through the earth today. Not too much longer for Spring!
  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 496 Member
    #8
    Inform Doctor

    You should talk to your doctor regarding her attitude.  Hopefully she will not be on the other side of the table at some point in her life.

    Mike 

  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #9
    mxperry220 said:

    Inform Doctor

    You should talk to your doctor regarding her attitude.  Hopefully she will not be on the other side of the table at some point in her life.

    Mike 

    sephie

    I think any doctor worth his or her salt would like to be informed when one of their staff members has treated a patient with disrespect or rudeness.  At the very least, I would let the doctor know.  I'm sorry this happened to you, but I am so glad everything turned out good for you on the tests and exams.

  • Lorikat
    Lorikat Member Posts: 681 Member
    #10
    From the beginning I have

    From the beginning I have said MDA hands out "happy pills" to the people who work there.  Maybe she was late for work and just missed hers?  Just kidding....  

    Sephie, I would still let your onc know how y'all were treated.  At our stage of the game we've beenthrough a LOT and except a lot fairly calmly.  But what about someone just STARTING this journey????   The first doc I saw in my hometown told me this was primarily a "gay mans disease", insinuating what?   I was devastated and never went back.  

    No one is too old to learn MANNERS if not impathy.

    Congrats on good results...

    Ps its 800 miles from my home to MDA.

  • 7243
    7243 Member Posts: 249 Member
    #11
    Tell them

    First of all .... Yeah!  Great news!!!!!

    secondly .... Tell them about this incident.  They will soon be paid based on your good or bad patient experience.   And that matters to them .... And,   That behavior is counter to the culture EVERY healthcare organization should be building today!   You deserve better .... Tell the CEO.  Don't hold back.   Write a balanced letter to the top including how pleased you've been, how disappointing this experience was.. Don't mess around With the lower level. 

    Believe me ... Leadership cares.

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #12
    Marynb said:

    Lach
    How are you doing? Have you been able to walk the dog yet? I saw some spring flowers trying to break through the earth today. Not too much longer for Spring!

    Marynb

    Hey Marynb,

    Thanks for asking, I'm doing pretty good, feeling pretty good, working out at the gym now and feeling good.  The fatigue is still a problem but better than it was, and seems to respond to the accupuncture and working out (sleeping helps too but I've had insomnia for 10 years and that's not going away any time soon). I'm eating anything that I want but in small amounts due to some digestive issues that I think are unrelated to the cancer. My gastroenterologist, a true angel who rolled off a cloud, has told me that she's going to "have the talk" with me next week when I see her about having a PET scan and I told her to "you go for it," but that a PET scan isn't in my future. In any case, the biposies that I've told her she's welcome to do to her heart's content are for her benefit, not mine, since I'm sure that the tumor's gone.  I've not quite had the energy to get to Central Park yet (kind of silly since I'm going to the gym to work out and Central Park is just 15 minutes from my house, but still, I've not been yet. It's still too cold.) All in all I'm feeling pretty dang good and I thank you most sincerely for asking.  And you... how are you doing?  Are you hanging in???  My best... as always... 

  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
    #13
    7243 said:

    Tell them

    First of all .... Yeah!  Great news!!!!!

    secondly .... Tell them about this incident.  They will soon be paid based on your good or bad patient experience.   And that matters to them .... And,   That behavior is counter to the culture EVERY healthcare organization should be building today!   You deserve better .... Tell the CEO.  Don't hold back.   Write a balanced letter to the top including how pleased you've been, how disappointing this experience was.. Don't mess around With the lower level. 

    Believe me ... Leadership cares.

    If it was more than a

    If it was more than a one-time thing, I'd say report it too. But in the spirit of Easter, forgive her, because we don't know what her situation was that day. I'd actually try to see the same nurse the next time you're there, and see if she acts the same way. If she does, yes, report it - because patients (everyone) should be treated with respect. (She may very well remember you and be sweet as sugar the next time you see her, as a kind of apology.)

  • Phoebesnow
    Phoebesnow Member Posts: 600 Member
    #14
    RoseC said:

    If it was more than a

    If it was more than a one-time thing, I'd say report it too. But in the spirit of Easter, forgive her, because we don't know what her situation was that day. I'd actually try to see the same nurse the next time you're there, and see if she acts the same way. If she does, yes, report it - because patients (everyone) should be treated with respect. (She may very well remember you and be sweet as sugar the next time you see her, as a kind of apology.)

    Rosec

    Thank you for your wisdom. Again.

     

    HappyEaster 

  • 7243
    7243 Member Posts: 249 Member
    #15
    RoseC said:

    If it was more than a

    If it was more than a one-time thing, I'd say report it too. But in the spirit of Easter, forgive her, because we don't know what her situation was that day. I'd actually try to see the same nurse the next time you're there, and see if she acts the same way. If she does, yes, report it - because patients (everyone) should be treated with respect. (She may very well remember you and be sweet as sugar the next time you see her, as a kind of apology.)

    Holding firm

    Im holding firm on this...treating a cancer patient or any other patient with less than "patient-centered, professional care" must not be tolerated.  It is not the standard of care and is absolutely counter to patient safety.  "What we tolerate, happens".

    MD Anderson is the flag ship of cancer care in this country...hold them to their high standard.  

    My opinion...I expect healthcare organizations to keep their promise....this is their vision;

    Strategy 1.6 - We will enhance the experience of our patients by providing counseling, hope, education and compassion in a supportive environment.

    Best to you all!  

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
    #16
    LaCh said:

    Marynb

    Hey Marynb,

    Thanks for asking, I'm doing pretty good, feeling pretty good, working out at the gym now and feeling good.  The fatigue is still a problem but better than it was, and seems to respond to the accupuncture and working out (sleeping helps too but I've had insomnia for 10 years and that's not going away any time soon). I'm eating anything that I want but in small amounts due to some digestive issues that I think are unrelated to the cancer. My gastroenterologist, a true angel who rolled off a cloud, has told me that she's going to "have the talk" with me next week when I see her about having a PET scan and I told her to "you go for it," but that a PET scan isn't in my future. In any case, the biposies that I've told her she's welcome to do to her heart's content are for her benefit, not mine, since I'm sure that the tumor's gone.  I've not quite had the energy to get to Central Park yet (kind of silly since I'm going to the gym to work out and Central Park is just 15 minutes from my house, but still, I've not been yet. It's still too cold.) All in all I'm feeling pretty dang good and I thank you most sincerely for asking.  And you... how are you doing?  Are you hanging in???  My best... as always... 

    LaCh
    Sounds like you are moving right along in your recovery! I do understand your feelings about the scans. As far as I can decipher from the NCCN standards for surveillance, no scans are recommended post treatment.

    I am doing ok, but getting restless these days. I am thinking of selling everything I own and traveling around for a year or so. I have been so responsible my whole life. When I first graduated from college, a lot of my well to do friends backpacked around the world for a year. I was too damn busy trying to support myself and moving on in my education and career, and then family...blah, blah, blah. So, I want to see the world now. Just thoughts right now, but I simply can't go back to sitting behind a desk. I am rambling....

    How's the book coming?
  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #17
    Marynb said:

    LaCh
    Sounds like you are moving right along in your recovery! I do understand your feelings about the scans. As far as I can decipher from the NCCN standards for surveillance, no scans are recommended post treatment.

    I am doing ok, but getting restless these days. I am thinking of selling everything I own and traveling around for a year or so. I have been so responsible my whole life. When I first graduated from college, a lot of my well to do friends backpacked around the world for a year. I was too damn busy trying to support myself and moving on in my education and career, and then family...blah, blah, blah. So, I want to see the world now. Just thoughts right now, but I simply can't go back to sitting behind a desk. I am rambling....

    How's the book coming?

    marynb

    Traveling around the world?  I think that's a GREAT idea, I think you ought to try to move it from a dream to a thought to a plan and DO it!  I think it's a great idea. Regardless of whether a person has cancer or not, none of us leave this life alive and after a certain point, many people begin to think of trying to eliminate regrets or at least not accrue any more. Who wants to lie on his or her death bed and think Why didn't I do that?  I wish I'd done that.  And that has nothing to do with cancer, it's a natural feeling for many people.  I wholeheartedly support your dream, I really do. If there's any way that you can practically do it, I think that you should.  As for my book... I'm getting it ready for publication in August or the beginning of September. 

  • LaCh
    LaCh Member Posts: 557
    #18
    Marynb said:

    LaCh
    Sounds like you are moving right along in your recovery! I do understand your feelings about the scans. As far as I can decipher from the NCCN standards for surveillance, no scans are recommended post treatment.

    I am doing ok, but getting restless these days. I am thinking of selling everything I own and traveling around for a year or so. I have been so responsible my whole life. When I first graduated from college, a lot of my well to do friends backpacked around the world for a year. I was too damn busy trying to support myself and moving on in my education and career, and then family...blah, blah, blah. So, I want to see the world now. Just thoughts right now, but I simply can't go back to sitting behind a desk. I am rambling....

    How's the book coming?

    Marynb, nccn guidelines

    Hey Marynb,

    Do you by any chance have a link to the NCCN guidlines for standards for survelliance for anal squamous cell carcinoma?

  • mxperry220
    mxperry220 Member Posts: 496 Member
    #19
    7243 said:

    Holding firm

    Im holding firm on this...treating a cancer patient or any other patient with less than "patient-centered, professional care" must not be tolerated.  It is not the standard of care and is absolutely counter to patient safety.  "What we tolerate, happens".

    MD Anderson is the flag ship of cancer care in this country...hold them to their high standard.  

    My opinion...I expect healthcare organizations to keep their promise....this is their vision;

    Strategy 1.6 - We will enhance the experience of our patients by providing counseling, hope, education and compassion in a supportive environment.

    Best to you all!  

    I Agree With You

    One strike and the nurse is out.  Turning the other cheek is not appropriate in this situation.

    Mike

  • RoseC
    RoseC Member Posts: 559
    #20
    mxperry220 said:

    I Agree With You

    One strike and the nurse is out.  Turning the other cheek is not appropriate in this situation.

    Mike

    That's not really too cool.

    That's not really too cool. Everyone has a bad day, nurses included. But everyone has their own opinion, and that's ok.

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
    #21
    LaCh said:

    marynb

    Traveling around the world?  I think that's a GREAT idea, I think you ought to try to move it from a dream to a thought to a plan and DO it!  I think it's a great idea. Regardless of whether a person has cancer or not, none of us leave this life alive and after a certain point, many people begin to think of trying to eliminate regrets or at least not accrue any more. Who wants to lie on his or her death bed and think Why didn't I do that?  I wish I'd done that.  And that has nothing to do with cancer, it's a natural feeling for many people.  I wholeheartedly support your dream, I really do. If there's any way that you can practically do it, I think that you should.  As for my book... I'm getting it ready for publication in August or the beginning of September. 

    LaCh
    I just may do that. My cat doesn't love the idea, she is too old and set in her ways! Hate to leave her because she is so attached to me. We will see.

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