WELCOME TO OUR SITE - Sisters in PINK --  

The waiting is really one of the hardest parts. Once you have a treatment plan in place, things will start to go a lot faster. We on this board know about the waiting and the myriad of emotions one goes through -- so let us wait with you. Post whenever you feel the urge and we'll keep you company. I think at this point it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the new things happening in your life. It might help to take things one step and one day (sometimes even one hour) at a time. Get your results, talk to your doctor, give yourself some time to digest, etc. Please let us know later today if you feel up to it. We are here to support you.

If you are hesitant about anything, get a second opinion as soon as possible. I felt confident with my surgeon and knew I wanted the cancer out immediately, so I went ahead with surgery. I did get a second opinion when it came to chemotherapy. There is time for that later.

You will find many wonderful, caring, uplifting, funny, amazing people along the way. Put your seat belt on, raise your arms up, scream and go!!!! 

We will be there for you every step of the way - We are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

VickiSam said:

Alicia -- I am so so sorry that you have breast cancer

WELCOME TO OUR SITE - Sisters in PINK --  

The waiting is really one of the hardest parts. Once you have a treatment plan in place, things will start to go a lot faster. We on this board know about the waiting and the myriad of emotions one goes through -- so let us wait with you. Post whenever you feel the urge and we'll keep you company. I think at this point it is easy to get overwhelmed with all the new things happening in your life. It might help to take things one step and one day (sometimes even one hour) at a time. Get your results, talk to your doctor, give yourself some time to digest, etc. Please let us know later today if you feel up to it. We are here to support you.

If you are hesitant about anything, get a second opinion as soon as possible. I felt confident with my surgeon and knew I wanted the cancer out immediately, so I went ahead with surgery. I did get a second opinion when it came to chemotherapy. There is time for that later.

You will find many wonderful, caring, uplifting, funny, amazing people along the way. Put your seat belt on, raise your arms up, scream and go!!!! 

We will be there for you every step of the way - We are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

Strength, Courage and HOPE for a Cure.

Vicki Sam

 

 

 

You are so young and I am so sorry for your diagnosis.  Good luck with your MRI tomorrow.  I will be praying for you.

The pink sisters are always here for you, always!

Hugs, Debby

Hi Alicia....my name is Patrice. 2 years ago I was diagnosed at the end of March, one month after my birthday in February....so I know the feeling! I also had 4 tumors in my left breast. None of which were spotted on the mammo or ultrasound. I felt one and made the Dr. take a fine needle biopsy. Then I had the MRI with contrast and that's when they all were found. I had a core needle biopsy which I would have never agreed to cause they have very serious risks to cancer spread ...but unfortunatelyt I was never told that. SO I had the core needle and 2 were cancerous, 1 was benign and the last one they couldnt tell. SO I decided on having a bilateral mastectomy. Which I decided cause I have dense breasts and nothing ever showed up on these tests.

Well the Dr. tried to talk me out of not taking the right breast but I made the choice. Good thing because I had it in both and the MRI with contrast didnt pick that up at all.

I know this is a very very emotional time. I don't call it a journey I call it a trip....why?...Cause I didn't want it to be that long! Trip sounds a lot shorter and after all the tests, waiting, surgery and treatment (if needed) time really goes FAST!

If you ever want to call someone and talk 24/7 I will give you my number. At the time I was going through it I called the Y-ME line all the time but I dont think it still exists anymore.

You need to be your best advocate. Try to stay as focused on that as you can. The hair thing was very hard for me since I had very long hair. I refused to cut it I also wanted to get the cap...I was praying I was one of the 5% that didn't lose it...but I did. Yes it was worse than losing my boobs but after the initial shock I bought a bunch of wigs in all different colors and lengths. Sounds terrible to you I am sure but its really not....hair grows back...you need to work on getting your body ready to fight and stay well. More important than anything else.!!!! You will get better, you will meet the most adoring "PINK SISTERS"! You whole outlook on life will be different and that is a good thing. A lot of positive things will come from this I can assure you of that. 

One thing BC taught me was patience....something I didn't have a lot of. I was always in a hurry and very intense. 

I actually became certified as a Health Counselor while I was on my trip. I also wrote a little booklet you can download for free. I put it on line cause I was asked to make copies for people. SO check it out I hope it helps! Remember we are all here for you!!! Welcome to the club you never wanted to join but in the long run will be ok that you did!!!!

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow!

XOXOXOX

Patrice

Hi Alicia,

Breathe, Breathe and have a glass of wine. Like you I was diagnosed with cancer 2 months before my 32nd Birthday. I'm still in the process of going thru this. I just had my last surgery in November, it has been a long process for me but I have a wonderful group of doctors. Advice from someone who is still dealing is 

1. Find a breast surgeon that you LOVE. You have to feel comfortable because you are in their hands. If you don't have the connection move on to someone else. Don't ever just seattle because of insurance or anything it is rought but this is your life. 

2. DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT look at the internet. That was the first thing my breast surgeon told me was don't search the internet. And that was the first thing I did, by the time I was done I was on the phone sobbing to my bestfriend Kathy that I did this to myself. I did it becuase im in my 30's no kids, eat red meat, drink red wine, partied in my 20's. Needless to say only look at sites like this or that are Cancer ORG.

3.Buy a small notebook and always carry it with you. You're going to have questions pop up during the day and it's best to write them down right there and then. If your family or friends have questiosn write them down. It's better to be too informed than not at all. 

4. Ask your doctor questions, don't be afraid, if you don't understand them ask again and tell them to tell you like your 5. Remember this is your life don't be afraid to ask and be comfortable. 

5. Have that support person next to you be it a friend, family member, co worker you will need them. 

6. If you need to cry, cry it does SUCK..

7. As you start to tell people around you they will change. Don't be mad at them. People handle things in there own way. Some will run up to the plate and be strong for you and with you. Other that you thought were strong will turn out to not being able to handle your news which is fine. Just know that and be alright with that. 

If you would like to private message me that is fine and I will tell you my story. Keep your head high and remember you are in control right now not anyone else.. 

P.S the article that Aysemari put up is on point...

I too am so sorry you have to be here.  It is a great place for info and support. Just wish none of us ever had to meet here. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I don't really have any info about your case but quite sure some one will be able to give you some.  Diana

I'm 32 and going through breast cancer treatments.  Chemo first, then surgery, and am about to start radiation next week.  I did some research on the Penguin Caps in anticipation for the hair loss, but decided against it.  Instead, I started getting my hair cut into shorter and shorter styles the closer I got to my chemo start date.  I also had permanent makeup applied on my eyebrows (light color). So glad I did both!  I can't adequately describe the feeling of loss that comes with seeing clumps of your hair on your pillow cases or worse, in your hands when you wash your hair.  The shorter hair cuts helped minimize that trauma for me.  My eyebrows didn't all fall out, but they did get very sparse, getting the tatoo helped shorten my morning routine.  I don't think I would have been able to free hand my eyebrows evenly.  The wigs are so good these days, no one is going to know but you that you are wearing one.  I still get compliments on the color and cut of my "hair" when I'm out and about.  Good luck to you, Alicia! 

aysemari said:

Welcome Alicia

Though I knnow you really don't want to be here, just know you have come to the right place. You will find

a wealth of useful information and an abundance of support on this board. It helped me more than anything.

The ladies and gents on this board JUST get it. I too was diagnosed in my 30s and no family history whatsoever.

The first few weeks are tough, you will get a crash course in cancer and whirlwind of information coming your way.

Stay calm and stay in the driver's seat, take control of your treatments and ask lots of question. We are all here

for you to help any way we can. Below is a great article and information I wish I had at the time I was diagnosed.

Take deep breaths and stay strong, Hug - Ayse

 

The Things I Wish I Were Told When I Was Diagnosed With Cancer

Posted: 06/28/2012 8:00 pm

 

 

Your relationships are about to change. All of them. Some will get stronger. They will probably not be with the people you would expect. The people you want to handle this well might not be able to for a variety of reasons. Some of the reasons will be selfish. Some of them will be entirely innocent and circumstantial. All of them will be forgivable because no one plans for cancer. Carrying bitterness or anger won't help your recovery. Fighting for anyone to stick with you won't cure you. Those who can, will. 

You will be determined to have more energy than you do. You will convince yourself that you are thinking straight, are able to handle all of this and do not need anyone. You will run out fuel. Your body will change first and your mind will follow. You won't lose your mind, memories or sensibility. It will all come back. But, you will be different. You will never have the same sense of self. You should embrace this. Your old self was probably really great. Your transformed self will be even better. Give into what is happening and trust it. 

You are going to feel fear. Even if you are normally stubborn, confident and seemingly invincible you will finally find yourself admitting that you are scared of something. Cancer is scary and incredibly confusing. The unknowing will eat at you worse than the disease itself. You'll need distractions. Music and sleep will probably be the ones you resort to most. Reading will become difficult. So will watching TV or movies, having conversations, writing and basically everything else. They call it "chemo brain" for a reason. You will feel normal eventually. Just a new kind of normal. When you feel afraid let yourself lean on those around you. Cry. Be vulnerable. You are vulnerable. There will be time for strength, but never admitting weakness will cause anxiety to mount and your condition to worsen. Let it all out. Yell if you need to. Sing when you feel up to it. Sob uncontrollably. Apologize for your mood swings. Treatments and prescriptions will often be the cause of them. The people that love you will understand. 

The people that love you will be just as scared as you are. Probably more. They will be worrying even when they are smiling. They will assume you are in more pain than you are. They will be thinking about you dying and preparing for life without you. They will go through a process that you will never understand just like they will never understand the process you are going through. Let them process. Forgive them when they don't understand. Exercise patience when you can. Know that those that were built for this will be there when you get to the other side and you will all be able to laugh together again. You'll cry together too. Then you'll get to a place where you will just live in the world again together and that is when you know that you have beaten this. 

The sooner you recognize that you are mortal, the sooner you can create the mentality for survival. There is a chance you might not make it. Just like there is a chance that you will. Don't look at statistics. You are unique and what is happening inside you is unique. Your fight is yours alone and there are too many factors to compare yourself to others that have had your condition. No one will want you to think about death, but you won't have a choice. You will think about it from the moment you are given your diagnosis. Come to terms with it. Calmly accept it. Then, shift every thought you have into believing that you won't die. You are going to beat this. Your mental focus on that fact will be more powerful than any treatment you receive. 

Your doctors and nurses will become your source of comfort. You will feel safe with them. If you do not feel safe with them you need to change your care provider immediately. There is no time to waste. This shouldn't be a game played on anyone's terms but yours. When you find the right caretakers you will know immediately. Do not let insurance, money or red tape prevent you from getting the treatment you deserve. This is your only shot. There is always a way. Find those hands that you trust your life in and willingly give it to them. They will quickly bring you a sense of calm. They will spend time answering your questions. There will be no stupid questions to them. They won't do anything besides make you feel like you are the most important life that exists. They will never make you feel like they don't have things in control. They will be honest and accessible at all times. They might even become your friends. You might celebrate with them over drinks months or years after they have cured you. They deserve your gratitude, respect and appreciation daily. If you get upset at them during treatment know that they'll forgive you. They get that you're going through something they can't imagine- but they understand better than anyone. They see it every day and they choose to be there because they want to make the worst experience of your life more tolerable. 

You will need to find balance after treatment. Start by seeking balance during treatment. Eat well. Sleep well. Listen to your body. Explore meditation. Experiment with new forms of exercise that aren't so demanding. Embrace massage and other body therapies. Go to therapy. A therapist will be able to guide you through your journey in ways you could never fathom. Do not be too proud to speak to someone. You cannot afford to store up the intensity of the emotion that comes with fighting a life-threatening illness. Let it out for yourself. You will begin to hear your voice changing. That voice is who you are becoming in the face of mortality. Listen to that voice. It will be the purest, most authentic version of you that you have ever known. Bring that person into the world -- strengths and vulnerabilities and everything between. Be that person forever. 

You will inspire others. It will feel weird. People you haven't spoken to since grade school will be in touch. Ex-girlfriends, former colleagues... even people you felt never wanted to talk to you again. The influx of interest in your seemingly fading life will be greater than any living moment you have ever experienced. That support is what will shift a fading life into a surviving one. Be grateful for every message. Be appreciative of each gift and each visit. There will be moments where all of this attention will make you feel lonelier than you have ever felt in your life. In a hospital room full of people with messages stuffing your inbox, voicemail and mailbox you will find yourself feeling completely alone. This is when you will realize that you could afford to have a stronger relationship with yourself. That only you walk this earth with 100% investment in you. Make the investment and use this as an opportunity to reexamine your self-worth. Love yourself more than ever and recognize how much love there is for you in the world. Then start sharing that love. You will come to see that even when you are the neediest person you know you can still be giving. Giving will make you feel better than taking. 

When you get to the other side you won't believe it. They will tell you the disease is gone. Everyone you know will rejoice and return back to their lives. You'll constantly wonder if it is coming back. Slowly this feeling will fade, but cancer will always be a part of you. It will define how you see the world moving forward. You're going to feel like the future is a funny thing to think about because the present is going to suddenly seem incredibly important. Keep moving. You'll be more productive. You'll understand who truly loves you because they will still be there. You'll want to meet new people that connect to the newly evolved version of your old self. You'll want to let go of those that don't "get" who you are now. You'll feel a little guilty doing it. Then, you'll move on. You don't have time to waste. The greatest gift you've been given is that you now understand that and you're going to make the most of every second. You're going to be the most passionate person you know going forward. Translate that passion to a greater purpose. Be fearless again. 

I was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 27. Now 28, I have been told I have no trace of the disease in my body.

Jeff Tomczek is a freelance writer and the founder of C2Bseen, offering consulting services to niche brands and entrepreneurs.

For more on cancer, click here.

For more on Jeff Tomczek, click here.

 

 

Follow Jeff Tomczek on Twitter: www.twitter.com/C2Bseen

 

Just wanting to say a big hello to you and to remind you that we will always be here for you.  Post anytime as we never close and we want to help.

Hi Alicia -- I am so sorry you are going through this at such a young age (not that there is an ideal age to deal with it), and so close to your birthday. I was dx at 32 in 2011. I harvested my eggs (no kids yet), took chemo, radiation and currently on tamoxifen for 5-10 years (possibly 10), and I will be on pills forever. I am from NYC and I was wondering if we can chat more, if you need information I can maybe help. I am been treated at Sloan, but I also know of a few great Doctors in the area. I can get a listing from Sloan for you too if you'd like. Let me know.

You've come to the right place! These ladies are AMAZING. They helped me so much during my journey, and they still do. If you need chemo or radiation or pills, whatever it is you'll need to treat your cancer, we'll be able to guide you on what to do to try and minimize the issues that can arise from treatments. You will do GREAT!

I am going to tell you one thing I did that I wished I never did, and that was: LOOK ONLINE FOR INFORMATION that didn't apply to me at all! You cannot diagnose yourself, and certainly, you cannot assume other people's experiences are the same as yours. Everyone is unique with their tumors, stages, treatment plans and outcomes (a stage 4 may survive vs. someone who is early stage and vise verse (of course you would want to catch it early, but it doesn't guarantee anything. Everyone is different.). What you can do is listen to your doctors, trust their plan, have faith and stay positive no matter what. That is 1/2 of the battle already won.  Additionally, you will find a level of strength you never thought you had. Promise!

About the hat to prevent your hair to fall, I would NOT do it, and here's why: If I have to put myself through chemo, why would I want to prevent my scalp from getting the treatment? There is a chance you can get metastasis if you don't treat that part of your body, so why do it? If your Dr. wants you to take chemo (and you should ask lots of questions first), please be sure it hits your entire body so there are no regrets later (no what ifs). I had my hair down to my hip and I didn't care to lose it because I was fighting a monster. When you fight cancer you need to become a much bigger monster than cancer is - YOU CAN DO THIS! Treatments are much easier than what they used to be.

I have history of cancer in my family but this is only 15% of all breast cancers. 85% of breast cancers have no family history. Additionally, no one knows why we get it. There are thousands of mutations that scientists have not been able to identified (only BRCA). I hope you get the genetic testing to make sure you aren't carrying the gene. But don't worry, because this is rare.

I wish you the best of luck with everything. Please know the diagnosis will probably be the worst part of all of this. Once you have a plan, everything else will come into place. You will feel more confident. I wish you a SMOOTH recovery with no complications.

Ah! One more thing: This is YOUR TIME now. This means, you tell who you want to tell. If you want to keep things private this is fine too. It is your life, your party, your recovery. I decided to keep mine private but bad news travels fast. If you find people contacting you out of the blue (it happened to me!), you have the right to choose wheather you want them as part of your support team or not. I suggest you find someone (could be a family member or a close friend) who can do the communication for you. Someone who can keep others informed for you instead of you having to deal with the stress (and dealing with keeping THEM calm, when you need to stay calm). You decide how you want this done. No one else! Remember that.

Sending prayers your way sweet sister!

Hugs

P.S. I am here if you need to chat. I am turning 35 next month.

Michelle_2014 said:

I'm 32 and going through

I'm 32 and going through breast cancer treatments.  Chemo first, then surgery, and am about to start radiation next week.  I did some research on the Penguin Caps in anticipation for the hair loss, but decided against it.  Instead, I started getting my hair cut into shorter and shorter styles the closer I got to my chemo start date.  I also had permanent makeup applied on my eyebrows (light color). So glad I did both!  I can't adequately describe the feeling of loss that comes with seeing clumps of your hair on your pillow cases or worse, in your hands when you wash your hair.  The shorter hair cuts helped minimize that trauma for me.  My eyebrows didn't all fall out, but they did get very sparse, getting the tatoo helped shorten my morning routine.  I don't think I would have been able to free hand my eyebrows evenly.  The wigs are so good these days, no one is going to know but you that you are wearing one.  I still get compliments on the color and cut of my "hair" when I'm out and about.  Good luck to you, Alicia! 

Just want to add lots of hugs and hope you'll post again Alicia.