Stop the madness

janderson1964
janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1

Pete you know I am into nutrition and exercise. However that is my choice. It is also my choice to do chemo and surgery when cancer becomes visible in my body. I appreciate all of the research you are doing but you are way to opinionated. We are supposed to be a community (I like to look at it as a family although a disfunctional family lately). Please let us know what you are doing or have learned but DON'T push your views on others who don't agree with it and come across as your way is the right way. It takes guts to do what your doing but it takes as much guts if not more to go through dangerous major surgeries and grueling seeminly endless rounds of chemotherapy.

We all want to live but remember the saying "Live and let live". This is an aweful disease which is why some of us are so passionate about fighting it anyway we can but we are ALL in this together. We don't need more stress in our lives. I think we are all at our limits of stress and emotions. PLEASE lets get along and don't critisize others. Think at how bad this looks to the newcomers. We should be there to support them in their treatment decisions. Think back at how scared you were when you were first diagnosed. It has been 7 1/2 years for me but I still get emotional when I think about the feelings my wife and I experienced those first few months.

Craig, I hope you read this. I might PM you to but don't leave this forum. You are the glue that holds it together. We ALL need you here and look forward to your posts and spot on analogies.

Jeff

Comments

  • jen2012
    jen2012 Member Posts: 1,607 Member
    #2
    Ugh...just typed out a long

    Ugh...just typed out a long reply and lost it. It was really good too :)....anyhow ...you are right jeff. I hope no one leaves....but if craig attempts to i will lead the search and recovery and we'll pull him back here kicking and screaming. I am a parent of two teens and a toddler craig...dont think I wont do it! Everyone breathe...we are all in this together.

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #3
    jen2012 said:

    Ugh...just typed out a long

    Ugh...just typed out a long reply and lost it. It was really good too :)....anyhow ...you are right jeff. I hope no one leaves....but if craig attempts to i will lead the search and recovery and we'll pull him back here kicking and screaming. I am a parent of two teens and a toddler craig...dont think I wont do it! Everyone breathe...we are all in this together.

    And You, Missy:)

    Dear Jen

    Your description of the Search and Rescue got me to grinnin'.....Smile

    Somehow, you evoked this image of a strong, fiery woman, driving cross country overnight hell-bent on her mission....with your toddler strapped to your waist, LOL!

    Do I think you would do it?

    Hell yeah, I do!:)

    Thank you so much for how you feel...I've come to think a great deal about you as well:)

     

  • Sundanceh
    Sundanceh Member Posts: 4,392 Member
    #4
    I Did "Read" You, My Friend:)

    And I am humbled by your words...

    And I need all of you as well to help make me whole....

    Together...We Fill Gaps

    "Elmer"

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #5
    Phew!

    I thought you meant March Madness for a second.

    Very good post Jeff. During my time here I've found that I've benefited from some time off/away from the forum. It's easy to get too personal and take things too personally I've found. I hope no one leaves under bad conditions but a break might be something some might consider

    The conflicts (almost) always arise when someone "knows" the answer whether it's religious, political, or medical in nature. There's no correct answers, only different paths or beliefs...

    I know believe this to be true.

  • maglets
    maglets Member Posts: 2,576 Member
    #6
    PhillieG said:

    Phew!

    I thought you meant March Madness for a second.

    Very good post Jeff. During my time here I've found that I've benefited from some time off/away from the forum. It's easy to get too personal and take things too personally I've found. I hope no one leaves under bad conditions but a break might be something some might consider

    The conflicts (almost) always arise when someone "knows" the answer whether it's religious, political, or medical in nature. There's no correct answers, only different paths or beliefs...

    I know believe this to be true.

    haha

    Philly your wise post made me laugh right out loud when I came to the stroked out I know changed to believe.  You are right.....these are often the subjects that cause conflict.  The comforting thought is that in society in general these are often the subjects that cause the same confict and lack of ability to understand one another or even try to co-operate.  Viewed from this point of view, we are just plain normal folk with the same misunderstandings as society in general.....except most of us here have the heavy burden of cancer on our shoulders.  One wonders if this makes us more or less tolerant .

    Yes perhaps some distance from the forum would be helpful.....thanks for the Laughing

    mags

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #7
    maglets said:

    haha

    Philly your wise post made me laugh right out loud when I came to the stroked out I know changed to believe.  You are right.....these are often the subjects that cause conflict.  The comforting thought is that in society in general these are often the subjects that cause the same confict and lack of ability to understand one another or even try to co-operate.  Viewed from this point of view, we are just plain normal folk with the same misunderstandings as society in general.....except most of us here have the heavy burden of cancer on our shoulders.  One wonders if this makes us more or less tolerant .

    Yes perhaps some distance from the forum would be helpful.....thanks for the Laughing

    mags

    I am ok with conflict. I just

    I am ok with conflict. I just dont like it when it starts to effect others that I care about.

    The times I need to take a break from the forum are a week before an upcoming scan.It is hard to handle other peoples bad news right before a scan.

    I know that sounds selfish but there are times where each of us should put our own needs first.

  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #8
    janderson1964 said:

    I am ok with conflict. I just

    I am ok with conflict. I just dont like it when it starts to effect others that I care about.

    The times I need to take a break from the forum are a week before an upcoming scan.It is hard to handle other peoples bad news right before a scan.

    I know that sounds selfish but there are times where each of us should put our own needs first.

    I Have to Disagree

    "I know that sounds selfish but there are times where each of us should put our own needs first."

    I don't find that putting ourselves first is selfish at all. How can we help others if we don't care for ourselves?

  • Deena11
    Deena11 Member Posts: 199 Member
    #9
    janderson1964 said:

    I am ok with conflict. I just

    I am ok with conflict. I just dont like it when it starts to effect others that I care about.

    The times I need to take a break from the forum are a week before an upcoming scan.It is hard to handle other peoples bad news right before a scan.

    I know that sounds selfish but there are times where each of us should put our own needs first.

    I get it

    I understand why you want to move away from this forum sometimes.  There are times I, too, feel nervous before labs, scans, colonoscopies, and Dr. appts.  I need to back off this board because I get anxious and downright scared sometimes.  However, the comfort and support I receive from everyone's stories and experiences outway the negatives. 

    I notice you provide a "voice of reason" in many of the posts.  I appreciate your opinions and feedback.

    I guess we are all brothers and sisters in this war on cancer and have our personal battles to fight.  We want our fellow "warriors" to be considerate and respectful to others.

  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #10
    Deena11 said:

    I get it

    I understand why you want to move away from this forum sometimes.  There are times I, too, feel nervous before labs, scans, colonoscopies, and Dr. appts.  I need to back off this board because I get anxious and downright scared sometimes.  However, the comfort and support I receive from everyone's stories and experiences outway the negatives. 

    I notice you provide a "voice of reason" in many of the posts.  I appreciate your opinions and feedback.

    I guess we are all brothers and sisters in this war on cancer and have our personal battles to fight.  We want our fellow "warriors" to be considerate and respectful to others.

    Phil is the ultimate voice of

    Phil is the ultimate voice of reason here.

  • dmj101
    dmj101 Member Posts: 527 Member
    #11
    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's

    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's post that prompted this .. but yes I agree he profecies sometimes in his posts and it was something he wrote to someone that really had me pull away from this site as it appeared everyone was backing his opinion... not that I don't enjoy reading his posts.. and all the research he shares.. I really do.. knowledge is power... he definitely has courage and money I am assuming as what he is doing.. you couldn't do here in the US with out a rich uncle or a lottery windfall..

    I too feel we should be supportive of each other.. We are all strong and we should all be proud of our survivorship.. we have all shown courage and dignity in this crazy journey..

    I just hope and wish we are all here another 50 years to say look how far we've come...

    Love you all... Donna

  • herdizziness
    herdizziness Member Posts: 3,624 Member
    #12
    dmj101 said:

    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's

    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's post that prompted this .. but yes I agree he profecies sometimes in his posts and it was something he wrote to someone that really had me pull away from this site as it appeared everyone was backing his opinion... not that I don't enjoy reading his posts.. and all the research he shares.. I really do.. knowledge is power... he definitely has courage and money I am assuming as what he is doing.. you couldn't do here in the US with out a rich uncle or a lottery windfall..

    I too feel we should be supportive of each other.. We are all strong and we should all be proud of our survivorship.. we have all shown courage and dignity in this crazy journey..

    I just hope and wish we are all here another 50 years to say look how far we've come...

    Love you all... Donna

    The post that started tHis

    Was of Pete telling John23 to stay off his posts or else he was going to start flagging any opposing views from John23.  That particular post was flagged and removed which is why you cannot find it.

    Winter Marie

  • devotion10
    devotion10 Member Posts: 623 Member
    #13
    dmj101 said:

    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's

    Jeff. I haven 't found Pete's post that prompted this .. but yes I agree he profecies sometimes in his posts and it was something he wrote to someone that really had me pull away from this site as it appeared everyone was backing his opinion... not that I don't enjoy reading his posts.. and all the research he shares.. I really do.. knowledge is power... he definitely has courage and money I am assuming as what he is doing.. you couldn't do here in the US with out a rich uncle or a lottery windfall..

    I too feel we should be supportive of each other.. We are all strong and we should all be proud of our survivorship.. we have all shown courage and dignity in this crazy journey..

    I just hope and wish we are all here another 50 years to say look how far we've come...

    Love you all... Donna

    Donna don't stay away. Many people have written

    to me privately and also expressed their concern on the board regarding the growing negative tone in some of Pete's posts.  The original post may have been deleted as it was considered offensive by some. I think that perhaps Pete has been having an increasingly difficult time with his disease and some other issues that seem to make it difficult for him to understand how a public forum like this works best.  Someone described to me that there is a "silent majority" here that has been troubled by the tone the board had taken as Pete's posts got more and more insistent that we take his view as gospel.  I just don't think people knew quite what to say to him or how to help the situation.  Then I decided I had to say something and that is how this got going.  I think the majority of people here -- me included -- care for Pete, wish him all the best, enjoy his research, and his courage ... but, just want him to try to understand that insulting or putting down the choices of others is not welcome. He simply does not hold the golden ticket to a cure as it is way too early to know the effectiveness of his treatments plus it may be impossible to replicate the many things he has tried.

    I truly believe we can hear each other so much better when we are kind and I guess that is my main point.  Please speak up when something bothers you.  I too felt as you did that folks were thinking what was happening was acceptable, and I did not realize until I spoke up how many people were disturbed and were just not saying anything.

    I hope we all regain a sense of unity and respect, Pete included.  Fingers crossed that we move forward positively.

    Best,

    Cynthia

  • pete43lost_at_sea
    pete43lost_at_sea Member Posts: 3,900 Member
    #14
    thanks jeff

    you make some good points, and i realise I have become extreme of late, if I was not extreme at the start.

    You know I thought I was being very restrained and conservstive in my posts here and was really surprised how upset everyone is.

    so I am going on my CSN holiday as its to hard to deliver my research my beliefs.

    i know it takes guts to sit in the chemo chair fortnight after fortnight. I did it, I still got numb feet. It may well be an option for me down the track, who knows.

    I just thought I would cleanup my loose ends here while I pack my bags for my CSN holiday.

    It is easier to face our mortality without having the questions my therapies raise, or my attitudes. I have encouraged people to break away from the crowd,

    everything I have learned is that the standards don't offer us stage 4 hope, that the best hope for survival is being a passionate patient. I have to put my money where my mouth is, do my meditation, my qigong, get my vaccines and pray. It will be an interesting few months and the peave and quiet of my little apartment next to the clinic and the fitness club and sauna will be my life. I have so much reading to do.

    look after yourself and stay well. for what its worth, read about the ketogenic, my diet been like yours low card, wholefoods. To go that extra 20% buys you ketosis and a different level tumour cell attack. if you try it and have questions pm me anytime.

    thanks for all the support and kind thoughts over the years.

    hugs,

    Pete

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