Advice?

My personal opinion is that you should tell them.  My daughter's first grade teacher told her class and they made the cutest get well cards ever.  I think kids want to be involved.  At one of my ACS walks, I received a book mark that a little girl had made that features a smiling little girl flying a kite and it says, "Keep fighting!"  That bookmark lives on my fridge and inspires me daily.  Maybe you can get them to make something for you and other women at your cancer center?

But please do what is right for you.  I would tell the leader who wants to keep it hush-hush that the kids' imaginations are often worse than being honest.  Ultimately, this is your call.

I don't think you have to give them a lot of information if you decide to share: just that you have an illness caused cancer and the medications that fight it make you lose your hair and feel more tired.  You can reassure them that the side effects are temporary.

LC814 said:

Thanks

Thank you, I appreciate the advice and  support. I planned on keeping it very basic and simple for them. I dont want them worring or getting nightmares over it. I just want to easy their curiosity and answer their questions as honest and simple as possible.

The co leader who doesnt want me to say anything feels that the kids are way too young to understand or comprehend any of this, regardless of how simple I make it for them.

I plan on speaking with the parents first and answering any questions they may have, and then asking for their permission to speak with the girls who do have questions for me.

knowledge is truly power and who knows what that memory will do when they are older and might experience symptoms.  Children are not stupid and they ask because not knowing is worse probably than knowing.

I remember my grandmother's fight for life and it helped me when it came to fighting for my own I never forgot but it wasn't horrible and spurned me to self examine myself since a very young age better able to detect the lumps that occurred at 36. I was 5 at her time of breast cancer diagnosis and glad I knew what to expect when it came to my own stage 3 fight.

Sometimes those little eyess see things we do not... Those hearsts and minds feel allot...

Good luck

Tara

I think you need to do what makes your feel better. There is no shame,as you know. I am not sure of the ages of the girls-but just give them "just enough' info to them. YOU said they are like your own children!

It would be great to bring someone with your to help explain-if you think it would be helpful to you!

best of luck..

Denise

Since you are representing the Girl Scout Organization, if it were me, I would seek advice from my supervisor first on what to do. Then I would perhaps send out a memo or speak to each parent individually to find out if they, the parents, want to tell the children or if they want you to do it. Personally, if I were a parent, I would want to tell the children myself. I would not want it coming from the Girl Scout Leader, although later it would be ok when the kids want to ask questions. But I think each parent has the right to decide. You may find some that don't care, some, like me, that would prefer to hear it from me, or those that  tell you to go ahead and talk about it. But like I said, first of all, I think you need advice from the Girl Scout Organization.

LC814 said:

true

Susan,

My Scouts range in ages based on troop level:

Daisies - 5-6 yr old (K-1 grade)

Brownies - 7-8 yr old (2-3grade)

juniors- 9-10 yr old (4-5grade)

Cadet 11-13 yr old (6-8grade)

the girls who have been asking the most are my brownies and Junior/cadets.

My Co leader for Junior/cadets has assisted me in writing a letter to the parents for a meeting. So we can sit down with the parents, and scouts with an ACS staff to explain what truly is going on based on the girls level. and that even though my fight isnt over that I'm not going anywhere. Then to answer any questions the girls have. Also, to hopefully give the parents knowledge and information about BC, and how to properly check themselves, and be prepared if God Forbid they find a lump, and If they havent gone for a Baseline yet, maybe realize just how important mammograms are.

Knowledge is power, and i think they are old enough to handle basic simple information. My youngest daughter was 8 yrs old when I was Diagnosed, and my oldest daughter was 11.  Their knowledge of this nasty beast has made it less fearful for them, not that its easier but at least they are able to understand why I lost my hair, and why i cant do as much as I used to do.  They understand this is temporary and I will eventually regain my health and  energy. that my hair will eventually grow back.

I wish my other co leader would change her mind, but she has her mind made up, that for her daughter she is too young to understand (her daughter is 8) that making aware of my BC would make her fearful, and give her nightmares.   She refuses to even go to the meeting herself without her daughter to support the other girls and their parents.

Thanks for your advice, I appreciate it.

 

 

Could you possibly mail a letter to all of the children's parents and tell them that on a certain day, you are going to tell them, in a way that they will understand at their age, about bc and what you're going thru now?  Then, if some parents do not want their kids to know in that way, they can just not let them come? 

I do think the children should know.  Knowledge is power, even if they are young.  And, they aren't stupid.  They know something is going on.  I know you could explain it to them and they'd understand and I bet feel better knowing.

And, thanks for all that you do for the kids!

Hugs, Megan

cinnamonsmile said:

Since you are representing

Since you are representing the Girl Scout Organization, if it were me, I would seek advice from my supervisor first on what to do. Then I would perhaps send out a memo or speak to each parent individually to find out if they, the parents, want to tell the children or if they want you to do it. Personally, if I were a parent, I would want to tell the children myself. I would not want it coming from the Girl Scout Leader, although later it would be ok when the kids want to ask questions. But I think each parent has the right to decide. You may find some that don't care, some, like me, that would prefer to hear it from me, or those that  tell you to go ahead and talk about it. But like I said, first of all, I think you need advice from the Girl Scout Organization.

I would tell them.They already see something different.In fact they might know of others who had cancer and no hair. Theyr're asking you. Inquiring Minds Want to Know.

Someday some of these little girls could be faced with this.Whether it be a mom, aunt, grandma and then they find out early on in their life.  Some may already know someone who is a breast cancer survivor or a survivor of another type of cancer.Sounds like with all the questions they think something isn't right.. They're waiting to hear it from you.

Personally I would rather tell kids than adults.

Kids are smart.Always have been.

Lynn Smith  

SIROD said:

Scouts

Your co-leader sounds like she has a lot of fear about breast cancer.  Did someone close to her die from the disease.  

Why is she so resistant, there has to be a story behind that fear.

Best to you and your little scouts,

Doris

 

I once had a troop when my son was young.  They were a joy and brighten my week.

Have you come to any decision yet or have you already talked to your kids?  You are awesome, you know, for doing this.

I wish you well and can't wait to see an updated post.

Sue

Megan M said:

Could you possibly mail a

Could you possibly mail a letter to all of the children's parents and tell them that on a certain day, you are going to tell them, in a way that they will understand at their age, about bc and what you're going thru now?  Then, if some parents do not want their kids to know in that way, they can just not let them come? 

I do think the children should know.  Knowledge is power, even if they are young.  And, they aren't stupid.  They know something is going on.  I know you could explain it to them and they'd understand and I bet feel better knowing.

And, thanks for all that you do for the kids!

 

Hugs, Megan

Hi, I just wanted to commend you for your work and your effort to be true.  It is hard to share the news of bc diagnosis with others.  For me, I did not tell many, I did not want them to worry.  

Ultimately, some poeple want to know more, and some will not.  I like Megan's suggestion of a letter, because it allows people to be involved if they want to.  We all have choices!!  Kids are resilient, much more than adults (I think..).  If you address it in a mature manner, I imagine these girls will carry the experience for life and, like us, they will be stronger because of it.