Pete Simmer Down! My goodness ...

tachilders said:

Please stay around Cynthia

Please stay around Cynthia and skip the threads where folks aren't playing nice. 

For a long time I did try to skip the threads where people were not playing nice ... seeing your lovely children I know you have experience as a parent with picking your battles  This is wise advice. I do feel though that if we do not speak up when the level of discourse becomes so disrespectful ... we ourselves become just as guilty.  

I very much appreciate your thoughtfulness to respond to my message.

Cynthia

abackhou said:

Please Stay

Please stay Cynthia, and I wish you and your husband all the very best.  I am also in a similair situation to your husband and would like to hear how he gets on and deals with this disease.

 

I agree with your comments regarding Pete's post, well said from the heart.

 

I also find John's posts very informative and unbiased.

 

Take care, Andrew

and anytime that you wish to share experiences in this journey I would welcome that. Yes, your situation is similar to my husband's and i understand that there is an overwhelming set of emotions that you deal with every moment, of every day.

I thank you for your courage to say you agree with my comments reagrding Pete's posts.  He seems like a fine man that has lost sight of what is appropriate here.  My comments were from the heart, I just did not feel that I could continue to simply try to avoid his threads or comments.  He has valuable insights but sorting thought the venom became increasingly difficult.  I simply felt the unkindness had no place here ... but, maybe I am wrong ... it may be me who has no place here.

You will be in my thoughts and you may write to me anytime.  I sincerely appreciate your encouragement for me to stay on the board.

Cynthia

herdizziness said:

Dear Cynthia

Please my dear do not go, nor stop posting.  If there was a love button for what you bravely spoke up and said, I would be clicking on it a hundred times.

Thank you for your words, they were well "spoken".

I hope some day we get back to the way we used to be, supporting each other with words of comfort and our experiences to help those that have just started this awful journey.

Winter Marie

 

get back to the way we used to be on the board.  I can see by many messages that are cropping up that many who have been silent … have also been offended and disturbed by the tone of some of the discussions … not the content … the tone.

You were kind to refer to me as brave for speaking up.  Perhaps we may turn a corner with the recent discussion.

I have this little quote that I keep on my desk.  I have had it for over 35 years and I often look at it when things get challenging in my marriage or with family …

The closer we are to someone the more necessary do tact and courtesy become.

It is a sort of odd statement, rather archaic sounding, but it helps me to remember that we should not let respect erode as we let our guard down to those close to us.

Thank you again for your support.

 Cynthia

Dyanclark said:

Please all stay

Dont let us scare anyone away with our opinions, we need as many people as possible on this discussion board.  I learn so much on this board.  Everyone has to do what they feel comfortable with.  I dont even make my husbands cancer decision that is for him to decide.   I try to help him make good sound decision, but it is not my body with cancer.   I dont know if it was me with cancer if I could do any of these harsh treatments so my hats off to all with cancer my heart achs for you all.  My nephew died at 32 years of age after a 5 year battle with testicular cancer and believe me it was hell especially for my sister      I say do what works for you.   Having said that, we need eveyones comments.

 

I agree with you that our board is made healthy by a variety of opinions.  But, opinions are not what I have stated concern me …  it has been the aggressive tone and insults.  To me, this is simply never acceptable on a cancer support board and while it may arise from time to time we have a responsibility to work against those very negative and hurtful forces.  We must all agree that this journey is hard enough without that. 

Cynthia

bailee2012 said:

We all need all of you

I am so glad to find out that other people here feel the same way as I have been towards Pete's posts.  I havent said anything before this because of being sort of a newbie here(6/12) and most of the responses to his posts are positive.  The tone of his posts,at times, have left me feeling guilty for not tryin to do the same things for my husband.  We don't have the finances to go to Germany for expensive treatments and how would we leave the kids for that?  At one point, my husband was losing 1 lb per day no matter how much he ate.  I decided that trying to get that stopped was more important than anything else at that time so I fed him anything he was willing to eat, that's right, I stocked up on junk food in all forms.  Thankfully we got past that and he put weight back on and looks healthy again and has worked full time since his diagnosis except for couple hospital stays.  We are all here to help eAch other and even though I don't post much doesn't mean that I haven't taken suggestions from u all at different times.  All of the vitamin supplements he takes were recommended by someone here.  Thanks for all of you!!!

You have stated precisely one of the reasons I am concerned about the tone of Pete’s posts … it makes newcomers feel guilty when they read that the options being offered by their oncology team are suspect and inferior.  The initial emotional rollercoaster of a cancer diagnosis … and then seeking out this board for support … and then coming here … I just hope for it to be like it was when I first came … a welcoming, comforting, and reassuring experience.

Trust that while there are many options out there … many, many have been helped with conventional treatments and also some with alternative. It is not perfect, but we must do what we can -- what is within our financial means, how we feel about our family unity, and simply what our individual hearts feel comfortable with.

Cynthia