Losing touch

staceya said:

Glad you are here! From the class of 2010.

I don't write much, and when I do, it tends to be silly and about goats or cats.

But I am blessed beyond measure and eternally grateful for the helpful posts of others.

Below, apropos of nothing, is a cute picture of a hedgehog. I once had a friend who had a hedgehog as a pet.
The hedgehog was in love with the toilet cleaning brush.
I am sure I have posted this before, but I have been laughing about it for 30 years and am probably going to continue to find it hilarious.
Love to you ALL

PS. Did you notice this post was not about cats OR goats. I had forgotten about hedgehogs.

 

This post leaves soooo much to my abi-normal sense of humor... I just better refrain, LOL...

But, I do miss getting your goat...

JG

fishmanpa said:

What's in a Name?

Thanks John,

Typically there's some logic behind the choice. I've had this screen name since 1995. I have the same email account too. The "fishman" is because  love to fish and the "pa" is because I lived in PA. That is my ugly mug in the photo though ~lol~ 

My given name is Mark... the "T" is the first letter of my last name. because of the mispronunciation of my last name I was dubbed "T". It's stuck through the years.

"T"

Good morning ...I know we have never chatted, I don't post often here anymore,but do look at the site several times a week...I see you posted your from PA ..me too,where are you in the Keystone state? 

Linda

fishmanpa said:

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Virtual World

Hi Vivian,

I've only been part of the boards for a short time but I'd like to offer my perspective.

This is a unique social network in that we all share cancer. From all perspectives, the patient, the caregiver, the children and family, we all fit into a piece of the puzzle that only those in our shoes understand. In a forum like this as well as on other forums unrelated to cancer, we're able to share via the written word, feelings, thoughts and emotions we ordinarilly wouldn't share in a face to face setting. It's not common to sit around and talk about constipation or phlegm is it?

There are distinct similarities as well as distinct differences in this virtual setting that distinguish it from other virtual settings. Where it is different in my opinion, is in the fact there are so many truly caring, good hearted people here. This is a gut feeling I have and I've learned to trust my gut. Cancer changes us. Whoever we were before cancer, we're not the same now. Cancer has a way of making us look at ourselves in a way we never thought we would. We become finite, vulnerable, helpless and a dozen or more adjectives that aren't necessarily positive. On the contrary, one only need look at a news forum or political forum to see the hatred that permeates society. 
When cancer comes into your life, your perspectives change (at least mine have). Things I felt passionately about before don't have the same significance.

Where this virtual setting is the same is in that it's a constantly changing entity that ebbs and flows depending on the number of members and their participation. For many, as mentioned, there is a season of need. For some, it is an emotional bridge that's needed to cross over the rivers of life before, during and after cancer. 

One way that it's amazingly and comically (in my opinion) similar is in the screen names and thumbnails we use to identify ourselves. In real life, I'm sure we're not black, white and furry or carry stuffed toys around in our mouths I can assure you people don't call me fishmanpa! In reality, when you exit the screen you're on, the virtual world ends and real life begins. When I post, you're only getting a minute glimpse into the person I am and visa versa. 

I met Marcia on a dating site. For a time, she was just a thumbnail, pictures and words on a screen (she typed with an accent). She soon became a voice on the phone and then finally and thankfully, a real, warm and loving woman who I fell in love with. While we can project in a virtual setting, it's still virtual and in a virtual world, it's only as real as we make it. Life goes on. People heal, live, move on and sadly pass from this earth. The internet and virtual forums like this expose us to and allow us to experience the heart of others, if even for a short time. We should value those times, learn and be thankful for having shared them. I for one am very thankful to have found you!

"T"

 

Fishman "T"

wow, you write so well.  (And I do resemble that remark.....dog with stuffed toy and all, LOL)

I think that we "older" survivors find a great comfort in helping out others coming along after us.  I don't do it nearly as often as I would like and I certainly can't do it as well as some of my own mentor survivors like Skiff, Hondo, Goalie & Dr. Mary, Deb on the horse, Stacey, and others.  They were all there to help me with my journey.  There is definitely something about fighting the cancer fight that changes a person.   I feel like the reason I have survived is that I am supposed to be available to help others find their way.

Somehow you end up feeling very very close with folks who have and will walk down the same path as you.

One thing about the folks on this forum....you can stay away for long spurts of time, check in rarely and it always feels like you never left.

Ingrid  (and Barney the dog)

Ingrid K said:

Well said

Fishman "T"

wow, you write so well.  (And I do resemble that remark.....dog with stuffed toy and all, LOL)

I think that we "older" survivors find a great comfort in helping out others coming along after us.  I don't do it nearly as often as I would like and I certainly can't do it as well as some of my own mentor survivors like Skiff, Hondo, Goalie & Dr. Mary, Deb on the horse, Stacey, and others.  They were all there to help me with my journey.  There is definitely something about fighting the cancer fight that changes a person.   I feel like the reason I have survived is that I am supposed to be available to help others find their way.

Somehow you end up feeling very very close with folks who have and will walk down the same path as you.

One thing about the folks on this forum....you can stay away for long spurts of time, check in rarely and it always feels like you never left.

Ingrid  (and Barney the dog)

Hi Ingrid,

Thanks for your kind words. I'd have say your dog looks like a Barney I see he's fond of his toy too ~lol~  Our cat Socrates has a few favorite toys that he carries around. We find them in our bed when he wants to play and he'll bring one to you when he wants to play a game of fetch or tag. 

I don't know what you consider older but most of us in this boat with H&N are a bit older. I'm well past the half century mark as of Sunday and definitely feeling "older". 

You are correct, there are very few forums where you gain a bond like I've seen here. Many forums are just hotbeds for negativity and hate. I can't see carrying that kind of attitude around 24/7. Cancer truly makes you realize how fragile life is and because there are no guarantees, we who suffer with this horrid disease as well as our caregivers, family and friends, find common ground and look at the same finish line. I'd venture to say the finish line we cross is more rewarding than most.

"T"

fishmanpa said:

He looks like a "Barney"

Hi Ingrid,

Thanks for your kind words. I'd have say your dog looks like a Barney I see he's fond of his toy too ~lol~  Our cat Socrates has a few favorite toys that he carries around. We find them in our bed when he wants to play and he'll bring one to you when he wants to play a game of fetch or tag. 

I don't know what you consider older but most of us in this boat with H&N are a bit older. I'm well past the half century mark as of Sunday and definitely feeling "older". 

You are correct, there are very few forums where you gain a bond like I've seen here. Many forums are just hotbeds for negativity and hate. I can't see carrying that kind of attitude around 24/7. Cancer truly makes you realize how fragile life is and because there are no guarantees, we who suffer with this horrid disease as well as our caregivers, family and friends, find common ground and look at the same finish line. I'd venture to say the finish line we cross is more rewarding than most.

"T"

Hi T

I guess I should have clarified my reply.   When I said "old", I didn't mean in years.

I meant in "been down this road before", "experienced", or "previous survivors".

I am older than most of you probably so no offense intended.

hwt said:

Still here....

Always thinking of everyone but unable to check in daily like I would like to. Spent 3 days last week admitted to hospital trying to pass a kidney stone...it's still there! Soon to start HBOT which will take a good 1 1/2 hours out of every day for 6 weeks just so I can then get some implants in place of my temporary denture. I do try to pop in and see how everyone is doing and lend a hand with others in the journey when I can but not a day goes by that I don't think of everyone and wish them well.

I've had a couple of kidney stones. Both treated with lithotrypsy. (Lucky me: Really lucky me.) I hate to think about the pain for just waiting for a kidney stone to pass. The good prevention for kidney stones is a lot of water. Of course, water is too late once you have the stone. My stones were huge (11 mm ++), and consequently lithotypsy was needed to break them up. Even after lithotrypsy, the fragmants were slightly painful to pass. Rick.

Lithotrypsy: sound waves foucused on the kidney stone to break them up. The patient pees blood for days. I was anestheitized during the lithotrypsy procedure itself. Rick.