Stage 4 Survivors, please respond-Dad and Chemo

I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. People do survive this and/or can live with it as more of a chronic thing. That's been my case.  I did 6 months of FOL-FOX chemo with Avastin for 5 out of the 6 months. I had surgery in Sept 04 where they removed a piece of my colon (no bag), 60% of my liver, my gallbadder, and installation of a hepatic pump. 

What to expect??? Everyone is different. It's no picnic but side effect do vary as well as response to treatments. They are NO guarantees at all no matter what method you try (TCM - Alternatives - Western Medicine). I wouldn't "over-research" it either, there's so much info on the internet but you can read stuff that will scare the pants off you but it might be old data or a 1 in a 1,000,000 side effect.

Telling the family? Again, each family's different. My wife knew that there was something going on with how I was DX. It was during a routine physical (I had no symptoms to speak of but looking back there were clues...) so when my doctor called me back for tests she knew that something was up. From being "healthy" to being diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer all happened within the span of 8 hours. The hardest part was telling our 10 yr old son about it. That was without a doubt the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
That was 9 years ago so here I am, living with cancer. Am I unique? Not especially. Was I fortunate to have great doctors? Yes. Does everyone get the same results with the doctor? No...

The BEST piece of advise I could give you is to get a second opinion and to get the best medical team you can. It truely makes all of the difference inthe world

I hope this helps.

I've been both caregiver and patient and I have to say I think I found it easier, at least emotionally, to be the one with cancer.  It's not easy watching someone you love struggle with this disease.  A few thoughts...the best advice I got at the beginning of my experience with cancer was to take it one day at a time.  Don't look too far down the road.  Your dad may have many, many years ahead of him, so thinking about things like organ failure is not a good use of your energy at this point.  The cancer journey is a "marathon, not a sprint" in most cases, so it's important to focus on what is happening in the moment, and not worry too much about what may or may not be coming in the future.  Probably the best thing you can do for your dad is just be there for him and be supportive as much as you can.  If he feels like taking a walk, walk with him.  If he feels like talking, or watching TV, or just sitting quietly and resting, then your presence there will make him feel less alone.  I think for many of us that is one of the hardest parts of having cancer...you go from having a full, busy life (working in your dad's case), to having way too much time on your hands, and often too much time spent alone.  This is going to be a big challenge for your dad, especially giving up his work, so he will probably feel pretty down for a while.  I think your presence in his life as he walks this path will make a big difference!  Hugs to you both~Ann Alexandria

PS  If it was me, I would tell the rest of the family asap (although this is also your dad's call).  It's easier to bear a burden like this when it is shared.

herdizziness said:

Julia

Did your Dad do a lot of exercise before?  If not, don't push, walking around the block or the neighborhood is sometimes as good as it gets.

As for diet, it isn't the best time to start pushing that, when on chemo, you may not care for a lot of things, and the things that you do like are the things you should be eating.  If he's losing weight, then high calorie is good for him, so is protein.

As for him retiring, that's an adjustment all in itself, and hopefully he will find a hobby to do.  My husband retired 3 years ago (got laid off and at his age and this economy, never got back to work) and has no hobbies, except to play on his android and hang around the house.  Talk about depressing for ME, I miss the days he was at work all day long and I could get things done without his interference.  Retirement alone, never mind the cancer is a huge adjustment, not just for you dad but for your family as well.  All of that will take time to adjust to.

And as for progression, please remember, stage IV doesn't mean he's dying anytime soon, I'm still going strong over 3 years later, and other stage IV have been here for many, many more years. 

I wish you and your family well, and great progress in this fight against cancer.

Winter Marie

I had to deal with rapid weight loss few months ago, lost 16kg or 20% of my weight at a rate of 1 kg every 2-3 days. Even though it seems counterproductive, I found excercise, resistance training in particular helped the most. I recovered my muscle tissue and put 5kg back on. I was to sip various supplement drinks, eat more carbs etc., according to the hospital dieticians but I did none of this as I also believe diet can play a large role in slowing cancer growth. Last thing I wanted is to eat more sugar. I am only 3 months ahead of you being diagnosed late october 26 with stage 4 and I have documented what I went through so far on my blog. it may be of help: http://mcrc4.com