New normal?

debrajo said:

Hi!  Been where you are and

Hi!  Been where you are and felt just like you and you do need someone to talk/walk you through.  You are not alone with this "new Normal"thing.  I don't have ovarian, but do have uterine and mostly take the same drugs y'all do.  I had the six rounds of taxol/carboplatin and five rounds of internal radiation.  I am blessed, never had the neuropthy, and did have the fatique, just not so bad.  Like a fool, I came home from hospital and treatments and continued with house work, errands, teens, older parents...life as usual.  No, no one understands unless they go through it.  My husband, was well, to put it nicely,not much help.  I drove myself to and from treatments, 90 minutes one way.  He told me I was fine, all over and done, and to get over myself.  Maybe he was right and it made me mad enough to get an attitude.but it sure didn't make the recovery easy!  Don't mean to run on, but you are not superwoman anymore,we have changed and it may get a lot better and then it may not.  Take it easy on yourself and tell everyone to take a flying leap!  I stopped answering the phone if I knew it was someone that had issues with me not "getting back into the swing of things".  You do what you can, do what you want, and to heck with everything and everyone else!  Take care!  Debrajo

Thanks Debrajo! I really appreciate the words of encouragement. It's nice to kthat there is someone out there who understands how I feel! 

kikz said:

I can relate to you

as I am sure all of the women on this site can.  I am almost two and a half years out from chemo.  I am feeling well physically which I am so grateful for and you will too in time.  But right now I am having a hard time emotionally and mentally.  I have a recurrence that I have been dealing with since April of last year.  I was started on Tamoxifen in June and it worked for the first three months, lowering my CA 125 but the fourth month it began to rise and continued rising so my oncologist decided to switch to Femara in January.  I will have my first blood draw on Tuesday since starting the new meds.

I have been in a funk since November with the first rise in the CA 125.  Now I am so afraid the new drug will not work at all.  I am usually a positive thinker but this has knocked me down.  I just can't seem to shake it.  I feel scared and angry.  I am just tired of the whole cancer journey.  I can't really share much of this with my family or even friends because as you have already found out it seems people don't want to know.  I don't blame them because I believe it is because they don't know what to say or do.

I am seriously thinking of making an appointment with a shrink I have seen in the past.  She helped me through a difficult time in the past.  I am also going to look into some classes offered by my health provider.  Some are for emotional support, others are geared toward physical strengthening and some to eating healthfully.  I know it will be helpful for me to get out.  I tend to cocoon myself.  I feel like I am licking my wounds but I need to move forward again.

I think it is just the constant worry over the last almost three years since diagnosis that is getting me down.  As I said I am grateful to still be here and feeling really well but I am scared about what is happening in my body that no one seems to have control of.  My surgeon has told me repeatedly that it is 100% that I will have chemo at some point.  That is a mixed bag as well.  He feels the chemo would put me back into remission but the memories of chemo are daunting.

I am sorry for being a downer when you obviously looking for support but I wanted to share that it is not you, it is the disease.  It is normal to feel any way you are feeling and it is not easy to find the support needed to help deal with the whole issue. 

That is why I continue to come to this site.  There is such terrific support here whether we are up or down.  I am glad you found us and I hope you will begin to feel better soon.  It's kind of funny but I am in better physical shape than most of my friends and relatives.  I have no other health problems and am only on the Femara.  So I am thankful for that.

Karen  

I am so grateful to have found this site. You guys are such an inspiration to me. 

Karen, I'm so sorry you are going thru such a rough patch. If you need to talk, I'm here. I definitely know EXACTLY how you feel. I try not to be scared and worry every day, but a lot of days it does come to the forefront and freak me out. I feel like I have a ticking time  bomb in my body sometimes. 

Everyone tells me that it gets better with time, so I'm just hangin on and waiting!