Tonight is difficult

D Lewis
D Lewis Member Posts: 1,581 Member
in Head and Neck Cancer #1

I am putting together a care package for my mom, of all the pretty headscarves and 'buffs' that I used when I went through my chemo and radiation treatment, and I am feeling pretty upset that she is going through this right now.

I posted a couple weeks back - she presented at the hospital on January 1st with difficulty breathing. They were able to get an X-ray and a CT scan that showed that the entire right hemisphere of her chest was taken up with a tumor mass. It took another three weeks of complications before they were able to get a successful biopsy that showed it to be small cell lung cancer. It is closing off her bronchial tubes. She has been in and out of the hospital for two biopsy surgeries, a collapsed lung, a chest cavity filled with fluid and a port installation. They would not admit her into the regional cancer center until they had checked her out of the main hospital.  Also, it appeared that they also could not get clearance from her insurance to treat her cancer, until she had been seen at the cancer center.

She starts chemo on Tuesday. Small cell is usually treated with concurrent chemo and radiation, but her tumor mass is now so large, she is not able to lie flat in the CT scanner, in order to get the necessary imaging to identify the extent of her cancer to irradiate it.  No idea right now if it has metastisized to her brain, bones or liver. So, they plan to treat her with chemo for a while, to try to shrink the mass enough so that she can lie flat to be scanned. Also, to help her breathe.

I don't mean to belittle anything that any of us experienced; and I got the whole Stage 4 shooting match, feeding tube included... but I am horrified about what she has been through already and what she will be facing.  I couldn't swallow, but she can't breathe. Small cell is horribly agressive, and while treatment may shrink the cancer, it will come back. 

She is almost 80 years old, and at this point she weighs only 113 pounds. But she wants to fight this, at least for now.  I finally figured out where all my 'fight' came from. My momma.  My hero.

Deb

Comments

  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #2
    Mom

    Deb,

     

    I feel very sorry for your Mom and for you.  I don’t wish these (cancer) experiences on anyone let alone one’s Mother.

     

    I hope the chemo does what they hope and that all the treatments she receives are successful.

     

    Best,

     

    Matt

  • Billie67
    Billie67 Member Posts: 898
    #3
    CivilMatt said:

    Mom

    Deb,

     

    I feel very sorry for your Mom and for you.  I don’t wish these (cancer) experiences on anyone let alone one’s Mother.

     

    I hope the chemo does what they hope and that all the treatments she receives are successful.

     

    Best,

     

    Matt

    Deb
    I'm so very sorry for all that your mom and you are going thru. I will be praying that the chemo shrinks the mass rapidly so that she may be able and ready for all treatments and tests/procedures.
    Please keep us posted.
    Billie
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #4
    Crap, Deb

    So very sorry you and your Mom are suffering.  Horrific to think of  a mom in that spot.  Mine had COPD - it's a nightmare, watching them struggle for a breath, wishing with all your heart that if you just concentrate hard enough, and ask earnestly enough, maybe they can get a tiny bit more air into their lungs.

    I am asking for the chemo to jump in with both feet.  Many of us here saw chemo make quick, amazing progress against tumor(s) - hoping her chemo does just the same, so she can get on to the next phase of fighting. 

    If she has to do this, I'm glad that she'll have some of your cancer "hand-me-downs" to wear during her fight - they'll give her an extra boost.  I know it had to be hard for you to look at that stuff again - much less to think about your mom needing them.

  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #5
    My heart hurts for you, Deb...

    It's not easy knowing that your mom is suffering (she survived larnyx cancer, and had COPD)...being unable to breath is just about as uncomfortable as it gets.  The fact that you've been thru cancer and know all the subtle details will be so helpful for her....just the fact that you KNOW, and can relate.  Now that I've been thru treatment, I've wished more times than I can count....that I'd had this knowledge when my mom was going thru it.  My mom was my hero, too...one tiny...tough little cookie. 

    Tucking your mama into my pocket....

    p

  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #6
    I'm praying

    Deb,

    If she has the spirit to fight she is one tough lady.  This is one tough dx.  I truely don't know which is better Deb, having a cancer dx before another loved one gets told they now have one or visa-versa.  You have the knowledge and the spunk to get her through this though.  I will be praying for her, and passing via the net a cyber hug to you.  Our Mom's no matter the age are our Mom's and mean the world to us.    Katie

  • Ingrid K
    Ingrid K Member Posts: 813
    #7
    katenorwood said:

    I'm praying

    Deb,

    If she has the spirit to fight she is one tough lady.  This is one tough dx.  I truely don't know which is better Deb, having a cancer dx before another loved one gets told they now have one or visa-versa.  You have the knowledge and the spunk to get her through this though.  I will be praying for her, and passing via the net a cyber hug to you.  Our Mom's no matter the age are our Mom's and mean the world to us.    Katie

    sending good vibes to you

    Hi Deb

    Sorry to hear about your Mom's current situation.  I am lucky to still have my mom also, and I can't imagine her going thru this.  The journey with this cancer is difficult for any of us, but I can't imagine watching one's mother go thru this.

    Sending prayers for you and Mom.  May the chemo do its job like it has done for so many others and may Mom be one of the survivors who wil be around to tell her tale to others in years to come.

    stay strong Deb !

     

  • NJShore
    NJShore Member Posts: 429 Member
    #8
    Prayers for Mom

    Deb,

    so sorry to hear of your moms condition, but hearing she wants to fight, that's the good news. I hope that the chemo works hard and fast and gets her comfortable in speedy time. 

    My prayers are with you both, the days ahead are not easy for either of you, but so worth  your efforts.

    Keep us posted and we will be here for you,

    Kari

  • VivianLee5689
    VivianLee5689 Member Posts: 546
    #9
    NJShore said:

    Prayers for Mom

    Deb,

    so sorry to hear of your moms condition, but hearing she wants to fight, that's the good news. I hope that the chemo works hard and fast and gets her comfortable in speedy time. 

    My prayers are with you both, the days ahead are not easy for either of you, but so worth  your efforts.

    Keep us posted and we will be here for you,

    Kari

    My thoughts

    I am sorry to hear about your Mom's current battle.  I can barely imagine what you are going through.  You and your mom are in my thoughts.  I wish there were more I could do. 

  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #10
    Thoughts & Prayers..

    Sorry that you have to go through this, even more so for your mother..., but you will get her through with the experience you have gained.

    John

  • cureitall66
    cureitall66 Member Posts: 913
    #11
    Sorry ....

    Deb,

    I'm sorry to hear this news. I know this has to be hard for you to stand by and watch her go through this. 

    Stay strong and know that we are all thinking of you as you are going through this journey with her.

    God Bless,

     

    Cris

  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #12
    cureitall66 said:

    Sorry ....

    Deb,

    I'm sorry to hear this news. I know this has to be hard for you to stand by and watch her go through this. 

    Stay strong and know that we are all thinking of you as you are going through this journey with her.

    God Bless,

     

    Cris

    Like the others, my heart hurts for you and your mom ..and

    I'm sorry you both have to go through this Deb.  It truly does stink.  Such a tough mom at 80 and all that spunk you describe, yes, I guess you two are alike.

    Whispered a prayer mom will get somer relief and you will continue to find the strength and wisdom to help her.  Also prayed for her team of docs to have wisdom as well.

    Keep us posted, and tell mom all of us "cancer folks" say hello and we are with her in spirit!!!!

    Best,

    Tim

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