When is enough enough?

Vicki
I have thought about that, but I am in remission now. I don't know how long I could do chemo for life. I see both ways, I don't want to leave my husband and children but quantity vs quality. I see a lot of people on the board that tolerate chemo fine and have more good days than bad. I think you need to try new chemo and see how well you tolerate it before you make that decision. You may tolerate it fine and it could shrink those buggers. Don't give up yet. Big big HUGS!
Sandy

I don't know how you make this decision, I really don't.

I only did chemo for a total of 9 months, and it was so dreadful that there is no way I could have kept it up forever.  But I see people who are able to live a reasonable life on some types of chemo, fo a very long time, so I think some of the decision probably depends on how hard the chemo is hitting you.  I watched my sister do chemo up to the last two weeks of her life, and when I got sick I swore I wouldn't do that, but I've come to the realization that it's just not that simple.  When you're fighting for your life, and for time with your family, things get pretty damn complicated.  I think if I was still having some good days mixed in with the bad I'd probably keep chugging along, but it might also depend on just how bad the "bad days" were, but that's just me.  It's such a personal choice and so hard to make.  A user on the Colon Club forum stated that she didn't want to die with "chemo in her veins", and that really resonated with me, but I can easily see how others, like my sister, might follow a different path.  Whatever path you follow, Vicki, the board will support you as you walk it.  Ann Alexandria

annalexandria said:

I don't know how you make this decision, I really don't.

I only did chemo for a total of 9 months, and it was so dreadful that there is no way I could have kept it up forever.  But I see people who are able to live a reasonable life on some types of chemo, fo a very long time, so I think some of the decision probably depends on how hard the chemo is hitting you.  I watched my sister do chemo up to the last two weeks of her life, and when I got sick I swore I wouldn't do that, but I've come to the realization that it's just not that simple.  When you're fighting for your life, and for time with your family, things get pretty damn complicated.  I think if I was still having some good days mixed in with the bad I'd probably keep chugging along, but it might also depend on just how bad the "bad days" were, but that's just me.  It's such a personal choice and so hard to make.  A user on the Colon Club forum stated that she didn't want to die with "chemo in her veins", and that really resonated with me, but I can easily see how others, like my sister, might follow a different path.  Whatever path you follow, Vicki, the board will support you as you walk it.  Ann Alexandria

I really don't have an answer

I really don't have an answer for you .... have thought about it myself, would I know when enough was enough???   Hate what this disease is doing to us and our families......

Are there alternatives?

Have you talked with your onc about alternatives?  I don't know what type of schedule you are on, but it may be possible to reduce the dose and up the frequency.  This might give you more good days than bad.  Or it might be possible to even lower the dose just a tad and that would make a difference.

Might you be able to do some physical therapy?  Some times the structured activity can make a difference in how your body reacts to medications.

I know that "chemo for life" seems a daunting statement.  Are you physically ill because of the chemo, or just too tired to feel like participating in life?  It sounds like you are at an emotional low at the moment, and that is not a good time to be making that decision.

Some times we need a gentle reminder that while what life has become with cancer is not as we would wish it could be, it still offers us and those who love us the time to build happy memories and have a positive impact by being in this world.

For some of us the time may come to truely evaluate the quality vs quantity question.  It should be considered by what we can turely endure physically.  While our lives are intwined with others, we can only evaluate it based on our own feelings.

Hugs and prayers for you,

Marie who loves kitties

I thought about this when I was in treatment

and realized that to me, quality was much more important than quantity.  Personally, with the side effects I suffered, I would never go on chemo for life.  I don't feel that the pain is worth it.

This is obviously a very personal decision - you have to do what feels right to you, not to anyone else.  I'd ask about options, and then decide.  I know my family would understand if I'd felt the need to call it quits. 

 

No brilliant advice here, just a reminder to be true to yourself,

 

Alice

Enough....

We've all been there at some point.  I look at it as staying alive for the next great drug that will keep me alive for the cure. I have too many things to do yet.  It's so hard on our families but I think it's safe for me to make the assumption that your husband and daughter want you around for a very long time.

Dyanclark gave you great advice....make your decision on a good day. 

It's the million dollar question

I think the majority of us ask this question all the time. I've been doing chemo since June '09 and it is getting tougher and tougher.  I'm starting what I think is my last hope some new chemo pills because my body is rejecting all the other chemos. So I may not haveyo make that choice if the pills don't work. Hang in there. I think about all the good events that I was part of over the past 3years. I pray we are guided to makethe right decision.  Jeff

steveandnat said:

It's the million dollar question

I think the majority of us ask this question all the time. I've been doing chemo since June '09 and it is getting tougher and tougher.  I'm starting what I think is my last hope some new chemo pills because my body is rejecting all the other chemos. So I may not haveyo make that choice if the pills don't work. Hang in there. I think about all the good events that I was part of over the past 3years. I pray we are guided to makethe right decision.  Jeff

Hard decision

Such good advise here from all. Give yourself some time to weigh the options and feel a little better decision -making wise. This is a hard decision and we have to allow ourselves to express our emotions. I may be starting chemo again and meet with my oncologist Tuesday. I hate this disease and what it makes us have to deal with. Thinking of you and feel what you are contemplating. Barb

feeling better is important

Finding a less obnoxious regimen was high on my priority list from the outset.    We used IV vitamin C, PSK and other nutrients to deal with side effects generally, and from folic-5FU toxicity especially.   We used high dose cimetidine early on instead of Avastin, along with COX2 inhibitors (mostly the natural ones in our case, Celebrex sometimes) and other biomodulator supplements like menaquinone-4 (vitamin K2's human form) that made the chemo work better than traditional chemo did on my wife's tumor cells. When my wife gets her IV vitamin C, she feels extra energetic for two days, when she drags and becomes more sensitive to stuff in the air, 5-6 days, it's time for a refill.  Others have used IV vitamin C to eliminate Xeloda side effects where xeloda is a 5FU derivative.  Life Extension has an extensive list of recommendations that is available through discount mail order online.    Chemo doesn't have to be noxious to be beneficial.   

When "enough is enough"  means that one needs a doctor that can get better answers.  For patients to be advised to do nothing when there are alternatives that can make things feel better from the get go, is unfortunate.

 

 

Hey Vickie, we all have to

Hey Vickie, we all have to face this question at some point.... Is it really for constent.. from this point or is it a round and break and then see where you stand and then decide the next step or next drug.. that is how it has been explained to me.. I too was told "chemo for life" and presently I am on  a break... I did ok on Folfiri and then usd the Irenotecan.. and Vectibix.. I am not going to lye.. mentall this was really hard to understand for me and I had been thru it with my mom.. but when it was me it was like all the lessons learned disappeared..

Take some really deep breathes before making a decision... you must be having second thought about giving up... otherwise you would have just done it and never questioned it.. We all make the decision that is best for us...

However, remember the eternal sleep doesn't come immediately or quietly.. while chemo may seem tough... make sure you understand what the disease will do not treated(my biggest fear of all), this may give you pause to reconsider..

Also be aware it may not be chemo you have to be on constently.. maybe like me its Vectibix or another bio agent or drug... where the sideeffects are more easily handled..

I want to say.. Don't give up.... we are all here on earth for a reason.. I really don't believe we are here to die... We are here to exercise our souls and fight.. so please consider alternatives and live either with or without treatment.. just make it a meaningful life.. .. Donna...