My young caregivers

Since being told I had Colorectal CA stage back on 16 Jan 2009, my 2 young children have been there thru think and thin.  They seen me go thru several surgeries, come home with a feeding tube, seen me with a ilescompty (sp), dressing changes, being connected to TPN via PICC lines, more then once, several times.  I am in remission now but I do wear diapers on a every day basis.  We did go on our first outing last yr Labor Day Weekend we went about 2 to 3 hrs away from where we lived.  We enjoyed ourselves, of course since I no longer can control my bowel movement I had a few accidents on the road trip that I had to pull over on the road and change myself etc.  They were there for me.    We have cried, screamed and laughed together.  I have reassured them as they have done the same to me.   I do get tired more easier than usual.  There are times I have to use my walker or wheel chair.  I wish I could take them to Disneyland or Disneyworld.  But I am afraid to go with just us, because of my condition and my health.  My right urterer is severly damaged due to the radiaton. I have been told it is beyound repair.  They have done a renal scan, it shows my right one woring 11 percent which means it is getting worse, and the left one is getting worse also.  What that means is my urine output is very low.  For over 2 yrs plus I go in every 4 to 6 months to have a stent exchange, they take out the old and of course give me a new one.  It is a minor procedure.  But still takes alot out of me.  I also receive a B12 shot every month and an IV of Zometa every 6 months for bone loss, which both will be a part of my life the rest of my life.  I just wish I could afford to take them on a mini vacation that they so well deserve.