When does the crying stop

Unhappy · January 2013

I found out I had cancer over two month ago and had 2 surgerys and all is going good but I still wake up crying .Wish I would stop the crying .

dianehelen · January 2013

i wish i had an answer for

i wish i had an answer for you but I'm in the same boat. diagnosis 11.15, lumpectomy 12/3, chemo port surgery tomorrow. i have Not gone a day yet without several outbursts. it seems to just come over me in uncontrolable waves.

hope we both can get to a point where it subsides

GrandmaJ · January 2013

dianehelen said:
i wish i had an answer for
i wish i had an answer for you but I'm in the same boat. diagnosis 11.15, lumpectomy 12/3, chemo port surgery tomorrow. i have Not gone a day yet without several outbursts. it seems to just come over me in uncontrolable waves.

hope we both can get to a point where it subsides

Crying

I've been there. Cried for weeks after my diagnosis and just couldn't deal with it. I finally sought the help of a psychiatrist who put me on Lexapro. Saved my sanity. Good luck.

GrandmaJ · January 2013

dianehelen said:
i wish i had an answer for
i wish i had an answer for you but I'm in the same boat. diagnosis 11.15, lumpectomy 12/3, chemo port surgery tomorrow. i have Not gone a day yet without several outbursts. it seems to just come over me in uncontrolable waves.

hope we both can get to a point where it subsides

Crying

I've been there. Cried for weeks after my diagnosis and just couldn't deal with it. I finally sought the help of a psychiatrist who put me on Lexapro. Saved my sanity. Good luck.

ladyg · January 2013

Crying is

a normal part of the journey. Everyone goes through it. I know I did. Even when I was at the end of treatment I cried. If you need some help getting through you can ask for some sort of anti depressent. I am still using citalopram.

Hugs,

Georgia

disneyfan2008 · January 2013

We each handle things our own

We each handle things our own way...take you time adjusting. There is no right or way to handle it. I was good until I was in my car ALONE. (not too often do I get that) OR my other place/ time was in the morning showers...boy did the water works flow then.

Journals helped me in hind sight. I had 2 given to me as gifts. I kind of felt goofy writting in them daily but on oaccssion I look back at them now-and it was a BIG help.

Denise

Unhappy · January 2013

Thank you all for your post

I can relate to most of them at night seem to be the worst.I don't like being alone it give me to much time to thank.Doctor give you so much to read and try and make a decision on treatment .It is very nerve racking for me.Be glad when the water work stop.Don't like feeling the way I have.Its just not me.

CypressCynthia · January 2013

Unhappy said:
Thank you all for your post
I can relate to most of them at night seem to be the worst.I don't like being alone it give me to much time to thank.Doctor give you so much to read and try and make a decision on treatment .It is very nerve racking for me.Be glad when the water work stop.Don't like feeling the way I have.Its just not me.

Crying is normal and should

Crying is normal and should gradually subside. Just remember that, if it doesn't or if you are overwhelmed, talk with your oncologist. Depression/anxiety is more common in cancer survivors and your onc will know this.

Many of us take something to cope--for me 1/2 dose of the lowest lexapro keeps my tears dried up and my anxiety under control. Do talk with your oncologist before taking anything for depression/anxiety because some drugs are not compatible with our treatments.

Some links:

http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012/01/04/when-cancer-patients-also-grapple-with-depression/

http://www.cancer.org/acs/groups/cid/documents/webcontent/002816-pdf.pdf

deeb111 · January 2013

crying

Been 2 years for me and I still cry But I think its my coping mechanism so maybe it will stop and maybe not its how you deal with it that counts we all loose a part of ourselves with this disease and I dont think crying is a problem it sometimes is a release of anxiety so good luck be well

deeb111 · January 2013

crying

Been 2 years for me and I still cry But I think its my coping mechanism so maybe it will stop and maybe not its how you deal with it that counts we all loose a part of ourselves with this disease and I dont think crying is a problem it sometimes is a release of anxiety so good luck be well

SIROD · January 2013

Name change should be the first step.

I wish you had a better name than "Unhappy" which sort of sounds defeating.

When I began the journey back in 1994, I cried for 2 minutes going down my hill into town. I decided that if I was going to cry, I had to go back home as it would not do to cry on the road. I stopped and asked myself the worse that could happen and it was death. I realized that I was a long, long way from that point and there was no reason to feel sorry for myself. I also had children who depended on me and for insurance sakes, I had to work. I never cried again, I had to make a plan on how I was going to handle this new situation and did. At the time that bc was diagnose I had just spent 2 months dealing with a staph infection that nearly cost me my life. So I was very aware of it all.

When I had recurrences, I did the same thing and found it helpful not to dwell on the negative and find the right combination of drugs to help me. I have as I just past my 18th year mark last summer.

You received good advise from many ladies here to ask your oncologist for a little help and some depression medication. That is good advise. Also changing your name from "Unhappy" to something positive might be helpful.

We are all here to help you on this journey you didn't want to go on.

Wishing you the best,

Doris

laughs_a_lot · January 2013

Crying

I did not cry a lot either. I grew up in a family with 7 brothers so I learned to cry only when absolutely necessary, (often when alone). I had always been the strong one in my family and had to keep the benefits rolling in for my spouse. Yes I'd rather not be the strong one but it is the hand I was dealt so I roll with it.

Josie21 · January 2013

laughs_a_lot said:
Crying
I did not cry a lot either. I grew up in a family with 7 brothers so I learned to cry only when absolutely necessary, (often when alone). I had always been the strong one in my family and had to keep the benefits rolling in for my spouse. Yes I'd rather not be the strong one but it is the hand I was dealt so I roll with it.

Crying

I tried to be so strong when I was diagnosed. I kept a lot to myself until I realized I was in a serious depression. Speaking to a counselor and going on lexapro for a year saved my sanity. Of course it's ok to cry, just make sure you are not getting over come with depression. I couldn't believe how fast it happened. The best thing the counselor said to me was ,"You did not have a tooth pulled. You were told you had a disease that was going to change your life forever. It's normal to feel sad."

sea60 · January 2013

Sending you a hug!

It is a grieving process and you will cry. But just know, things will get better with time. Little by little you will "look" for the joys in your everyday. Reach out, vent, pray to get through this.

I'm praying for you.

Sylvia

Unhappy · January 2013

SIROD said:
Name change should be the first step.
I wish you had a better name than "Unhappy" which sort of sounds defeating.

When I began the journey back in 1994, I cried for 2 minutes going down my hill into town. I decided that if I was going to cry, I had to go back home as it would not do to cry on the road. I stopped and asked myself the worse that could happen and it was death. I realized that I was a long, long way from that point and there was no reason to feel sorry for myself. I also had children who depended on me and for insurance sakes, I had to work. I never cried again, I had to make a plan on how I was going to handle this new situation and did. At the time that bc was diagnose I had just spent 2 months dealing with a staph infection that nearly cost me my life. So I was very aware of it all.

When I had recurrences, I did the same thing and found it helpful not to dwell on the negative and find the right combination of drugs to help me. I have as I just past my 18th year mark last summer.

You received good advise from many ladies here to ask your oncologist for a little help and some depression medication. That is good advise. Also changing your name from "Unhappy" to something positive might be helpful.

We are all here to help you on this journey you didn't want to go on.

Wishing you the best,

Doris

Changing name would not change the way I fell about

cancer .I am a happy person most of the time but cancer is not a happy thought .I have stopped crying as much as I was started walking and riding my bike. Reading the bible also helps .

SIROD · January 2013

Unhappy said:
Changing name would not change the way I fell about
cancer .I am a happy person most of the time but cancer is not a happy thought .I have stopped crying as much as I was started walking and riding my bike. Reading the bible also helps .

To unhappy

I've been breast cancer forums and discussion boards since 1997. In those years, I have noticed that people who do use names that are negative seem to have a hard time to go on with their life. However you made a great start by walking and riding your bike. I'm not religious but I do hope for you that reading your bible helps.

You were diagnose with breast cancer and again you don't state the stage or the kind. If you were diagnose with stage IV, you will be treated and perhaps if ER+/PR+ or HER2+ will be given some other form of treatment and go on with your life.

70% of women and men never have a recurrence and there is no reason why you should not think yourself among them. it is hard to think that positive when going through treatment. That I do remember of my time in that mode.

I can't walk anymore due to a medical problem but when I did, walking was a wonderful stress reliever. I hope it will be the same for you. It was my kind of depression medication. Walk, walk, walk... and I would feel 90% better.

Do wish you the very best on this journey,

Doris

Unhappy · January 2013

SIROD said:
To unhappy
I've been breast cancer forums and discussion boards since 1997. In those years, I have noticed that people who do use names that are negative seem to have a hard time to go on with their life. However you made a great start by walking and riding your bike. I'm not religious but I do hope for you that reading your bible helps.

You were diagnose with breast cancer and again you don't state the stage or the kind. If you were diagnose with stage IV, you will be treated and perhaps if ER+/PR+ or HER2+ will be given some other form of treatment and go on with your life.

70% of women and men never have a recurrence and there is no reason why you should not think yourself among them. it is hard to think that positive when going through treatment. That I do remember of my time in that mode.

I can't walk anymore due to a medical problem but when I did, walking was a wonderful stress reliever. I hope it will be the same for you. It was my kind of depression medication. Walk, walk, walk... and I would feel 90% better.

Do wish you the very best on this journey,

Doris

It is hard to keep positive

when I have had so many family members who never made it .I do feel lucky they found mind in the first stage .There was only one out of 5 family member who lived with cancer .And she had the same kind of cancer I was diagnose with so I do fell that I will a survivor.I do worry about my dauthers hope they don't get the message I did when so many died with cancer time have change so much since then . More test so cancer can be found early. And better medications.

When does the crying stop

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