Adjusting

Todd, worry, anxiety, fear, sleepless nights, it is all normal.  It is not easy to go back to life the way it was when something like this hits home.  The good news is that there are  many drugs out there that keep this disease in check and can handle it is a chronic disease instead of a death sentence. Like diabetes etc.  There are several drugs in the pipeline that are better, have less side affects and are doing a good job keeping people free of cancer.  So try not to worry so much. Take one day at a time and live life to it's fullest.  If you feel well enough, continue to go about your daily routine.  I don't know how old your child is but it is good to share your condition and work through it together.  Kids are tougher than you think. You are not a burden at all!  There is alot of life left so go out and live it and enjoy yourself.  Like the bible says, you cannot add one cubit to your lifespan by being anxious, so you are correct not to worry about things we can't change. But you will be prepared for no matter which way it goes.  if it does come back you have plenty of options with medicines these days.  Keep contact on the boards here and we will guide you. There are many here that have a ton of experience and will be sure to help you get whatever treatment you need. But prayers are out that you won't need anything further but tests ever few months.  You sound like a great dad!  Come here to vent and share whenever you need to.  We are always here for you.  Go out and make it a great day!

Limelife50 said:

Hi Todd

I know this is tough and it is going to take some time to wrap your mind around this to the point you can resume a normal everyday routine.At the same time to some degree all of our lives will never be the same again,i wish thier was a magical comment i could make to ease your fears but all anyone can do is be supportive when you are feeling down.Todd i dont want you to take this the wrong way but if you feel a need to see a qualified Physician to maybe prescribe you some medications to calm down then go ahead and see one.Try not to think of yourself as a burden i am sure your family loves you very much.One more thing Todd there is a good chance you will not ever get a reaccurance.

All of us who unfortunately have had cancer all pray to be disease free. Bless those that are. I think that once cancer has affected us, we must be diligent and never expect to be disease free. It must be watched closely and responded to if it returns. We cannot believe that if we ignore it ,it will go away. It is life changing. But as grownups, we deal with it. Like having kids, ailing parents, jobs, house work, and bill paying. I should add taxs'. We don't freak out. We move on to tomorrow and deal with issues daily. We can all do this.

todd121 said:

Anti-anxiety Drugs

I do have a prescription for Xanax. And I have used it some. Mainly when I can't sleep.

Meditation and gratitude lists is helping. Prayer is helping. Talking here and to my friends and family. All of this helps.

Todd

Hi Todd,

Its all a part of the process.  Many times the mental healing is much more difficult then the physical part.  You're on this whirlwind from dx to surgery to recovery and your brain never gets a chance to digest it all, now its playing catch up.  Keep doing what you are doing, take it on step at a time, cry when you need to cry, vent when you need to vent, before long it will all be behind you and you will attain a "new normal" where the fear of cancer is only a bit of background noise.  You beat it once and it may never come back, if it does there are therapies available today that weren't just a short time ago and more are in the works.  I think you'll find your kids to be a great source of strength and support, I know I did and mine were 28 to 33.

Hang in there,

Gary

Joe_fh said:

When you find ...

Hey Todd .. When you find the combination required to break through to 'peace of mind' with this thing, please share.

Hi Joe,

Mostly it takes time and getting good reports from those first follow-ups, but your perspective on life and what really matters has probably been altered forever.  True "peace of mind" takes work and understanding of what you can and cannot control, plus the ability to concentrate only on what you can change, anything else is wasted time and effort.

Wishing you health and happiness,

Gary

I am alive said:

Fortitude

Todd,

  I promise you will get to that place where cancer no longer defines your life. It takes time. After a while you realize that life goes on and none of us knows when we will die, even in the best of circumstances. Others on this thread have offered eloquent insight and advice but I just thought I'd throw this out, a quote describing "fortitude" in a book I'm reading - Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel, about, of all things, Thomas Cromwell during the reign of Henry XVIII in the 1500s. In the book Cromwell says "(Fortitude) doesn't mean courage in battle....It means fixity of purpose. It means endurance. It means having the strength to live with what constrains us." Now that's a take on living with cancer that speaks to me! We're fixed on managing it. We endure. We choose to live, in the very best sense. WE are fortitude.

All the best in the New Year,

Peg

I think your book may be a bit dodgy Peg - Henry XVIII in the 1500s?  What country was he reigning in? Not England - we've not got past VIII in our Henrys so far (and most of us hope the next monarch will be a William)!

Texas_wedge said:

I think your book may be a bit dodgy Peg - Henry XVIII in the 1500s?  What country was he reigning in? Not England - we've not got past VIII in our Henrys so far (and most of us hope the next monarch will be a William)!

I'm experiencing way too many of these "slippages" lately!!!! Yikes. Maybe I'm still making my way through holiday overload. Here's hoping the fog clears!

I am alive said:

Fortitude

Todd,

  I promise you will get to that place where cancer no longer defines your life. It takes time. After a while you realize that life goes on and none of us knows when we will die, even in the best of circumstances. Others on this thread have offered eloquent insight and advice but I just thought I'd throw this out, a quote describing "fortitude" in a book I'm reading - Wolf Hall, by Hilary Mantel, about, of all things, Thomas Cromwell during the reign of Henry XVIII in the 1500s. In the book Cromwell says "(Fortitude) doesn't mean courage in battle....It means fixity of purpose. It means endurance. It means having the strength to live with what constrains us." Now that's a take on living with cancer that speaks to me! We're fixed on managing it. We endure. We choose to live, in the very best sense. WE are fortitude.

All the best in the New Year,

Peg

I LIKE IT!!!  Thanks Peg.