18 month CT and not feeling lucky...

ripper said:

Prespective
The aches and pain fade when you know the reallity of others. God Speed and I'm done whining! Have a Merry XMas and New Year! My fingers are crossed for you as well.

Fingers crossed
I wish you both the best of luck and you'll be in my thoughts until you know your current status.

Texas_wedge said:

Anxiety
iceman - are you claiming you can remember what it felt like to turn 40? ;-)

Ripper, Siler and Joe - if you're so badly affected by the anxiety (which all of us probably feel to varying degrees) it's probably worth doing something about it, either via counselling or CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy from a clinical psychologist) or by using methods with which you can control it yourself. Meditation techniques are one way and close to this are mind-body practices like yoga and tai chi. There's a good brief comment on this from M.D.Anderson on their OncoLog at:

http://www2.mdanderson.org/depts/oncolog/articles/11/3-mar/3-11-hc.html

Also from M.D.Anderson is a related article:

http://www2.mdanderson.org/depts/oncolog/articles/11/3-mar/3-11-2.html

from which the following excerpt gives some interesting insights:

"Stress management

The negative biological effects of chronic stress may also be countered by stress management techniques. Very little research has been done in this area. Dr. Cohen is working to elucidate the impact that behavior-based forms of stress management have on the biology of cancer and on clinical outcomes.

At MD Anderson’s Integrative Medicine Center, patients are provided with resources to help manage their cancer-related stress, including conventional methods such as psychotherapy and cognitive behavioral therapy as well as traditional Eastern mind-body practices such as yoga, meditation, and tai chi. Research conducted at MD Anderson and elsewhere has shown that these types of mind-body practices affect stress hormones and other aspects of the immune system. “All these stress management techniques,” Dr. Cohen said, “are offered on the basic premise of trying to dampen the sympathetic nervous system response, giving the person a chance to calm his or her mind, which in turn will help get the body back to equilibrium.”

Such techniques, which can be implemented at any point of treatment, from early diagnosis through cancer survivorship, show promise in not only improving patients’ quality of life but also tempering their bodies’ biological responses to chronic stress. For example, Dr. Cohen and his colleagues found in one study that prostate cancer patients who were taught stress management skills had lower stress levels before undergoing radical prostatectomy and had better physical functioning 1 year after surgery than did prostate cancer patients who received supportive attention or standard care. They also found that the men in the stress management group had significantly higher immune function 48 hours after surgery than did the men in the supportive attention and standard care groups.

“We have a basic understanding that patients who are effectively able to manage stress in their lives are going to have better quality of life outcomes at minimum, and perhaps better clinical outcomes,” Dr. Cohen said. “One question that remains is: What form of stress management is most effective? For example, is something like yoga—a quintessential mind-body practice made up of meditation, special breathing exercises, and special movements all put together in a systematic, cohesive approach—actually better than gentle stretching exercises and some simple relaxation techniques?”

A $4.5 million grant from the U.S. National Cancer Institute may help Dr. Cohen and his colleagues answer such questions. The grant, the largest awarded for the study of yoga and cancer, will enable the researchers to determine the benefit of incorporating yoga into treatment plans for breast cancer patients. Documenting the potential psychological and biological rewards of this and other types of programs in a rigorous scientific fashion is essential to changing the standard of care.

“Stress management needs to become much more a part of the standard of care,” Dr. Cohen said. “It’s not that all patients will be required to undergo stress management, but it needs to be something that is offered up front and that health care professionals encourage patients to participate in. And it needs to be made available across the cancer care continuum, from early diagnosis to long-term survivorship.” "

Your post
Your post is sensible, logical, well researched and probably right on target.

... but, and don't take this the wrong way Wedge, all that "sense" doesn't amount to a hill of beans when you are gripped by the fear.

Texas_wedge said:

Your post
That's true, but you will get through that panic attack.

THEN, knowing how badly it's affecting you, it's time to do something to help to spare you from going through it again in the future.

I'm under no illusion Joe about it being no help when you're in that icy grip, but it seems to me to make sense to do one's best to head off, or at least lessen, further bouts - don't you agree?

I do Agree
Yes, I do agree Wedge. I was merely pointing out that sometimes, the words are easy. You may have nerves of steel, but many of us do not.

Still, nothing I said distracts from your post, and the wise would read it and consider the recommendations. I am trying to get my concerns under control, and make some progress, I am just not always successful.

pjune127 said:

Fox..
When will you have your scan results?

scan
Paula, Results come weds. Day after XMAS. Bad news won't spoil XMAS for me and our family. Good news is welcome any day. The past 3 weeks have been my best since early summer when the bone mets and pain began. I was able to get almost back to normal these past few weeks but I have new pain in the lateral right rib area for about 5 days. It goes into spasm and kind of "freezes" me in place for a bit. Not like when the pain was closer to my spine. Those spasms would take my breath away. Here's hoping that it is only a muscle strain but my experience tells me otherwise. Weds. is a big day in my life as a cancer patient. Scan results, infusion and zometa. My last session of scan results, infusion and zometa preceded my worst pain to date. I hope I don't do that again. Oh well. I can always camp in and watch Bowl games for awhile. No marinol here, just the first best thing...."In a gadda da vida baby"......

Siler said:

Praying For You
I've stayed up all night, worried and been absoulutley polorized with fear. My true desire to live is at the heart of all my unstable emotions. The problem is I can't control my emotions, they seem to have a life all their own. Fear and Anxiety though seems to me to be the worst of all the emotions I go through. I live through the word and Php. 4-7 always gives me the path to peace.
Hang in there Bro.

Php.4

Siler,

I saw this post and couldn't help felling that there is a familiar ring to what you share.  My husband has many wakeful nights, dozing in the recliner with the tv on, he says he doesn't want to disturb my sleep so he goes to the livingroom when the worry overtakes him.  He has been taking the Votrient and on 12/31 has the CT that will tell us if it is helping, so scanxiety is obviously the item of loss of sleep.

 I sometimes lay in the bed when he moves to the livingroom wondering if he needs time alone or if I should be there with him.  I have to work and have at times over the past few months stayed up really late several times and paid a price.  For me selfishly I want every minute we have to be spent together.  I don't try to fix his anxiety I let him know I am with him. 

The scripture is apt, and if only we could have our faith sooo full that we are able to have the scripture give us the peace it promises that the Lord "will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  The mind definatly needs to be guarded because dark thoughts come too often. 

Do you have an opinion of whether I should give him space in the wee hours of the dark night or be there for him?