“The Hits Keep Comin’”
Comments
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Dear LionSundanceh said:Hi Kit-Kat:)
He only arranged the burial plot itself...that's it.
Dad wanted to have his body prepared at a rival funeral home...have the service at his church...and then be buried in the other rival's funeral home.
But, that's dad...one f'd up mofo...
Just like he signed up his friend as a "co-executor" with me being the other one...had him to sell the house...nothing to do but call the realtor...the work was in the clean out and his buddy said...that's yours.
He didn't think I could handle anything...even left a written note that the co would know how many death certificates to order?
Know what's funny about that - the guy never even knew he was a co-executor until I told him...and luckily he declined to serve, eliminating one additional headache for me.
Can't handle things - look what I've done!!
Dad was such a giver.
He used to open up all of these bank accounts...a few dollars in this bank...a few in that bank...at one time he had over six banks or so...we just lost count.
He was a convoluted person...never did anything easy...and lived up to his legacy...it's just a shame that he's still taking a dump on me.
But, he arranged nothing but the plot. I changed the plans on the funeral home...too much money hiring police officers to do the traffic...and the transportation of the box from the first funeral home to the church...from the church to the gravesite at the other cemetery.
And I made dam sure that the funeral was held in "neutral territory." After the way, his church all treated us...I'd burn in hell before I took him there.
I went to a one-stop shop...body prep...visitation room...chapel service...hearse for about 15-yards...and then last stop, graveside. And it still was a buster.
Here's how stupid I am, Marie...you of all people, can appreciate this story.
So, we packed out 30 cases of books...boxes the size of a supersized Coleman cooler...18 of those cases were religious books...I found about 33 bibles of all kinds...
Know what I did?
I contacted the same said church that had hurt us and offered to donate those books to the church "In Dad's Name." They have a little church library there.
I even asked the pastor if they could make special mention of this in their Sunday worship service...say something like TJ was still giving to the church...even in death.
Of course, they all nodded...we all miss your dad:)
Yes...
Why, Marie, why????
Why am I so compelled to do these kinds of things? Why must I always take the High Road? Why can't I just get down and gutteral like I used to be?
It wasn't for me...part of me was still trying to take care of dad's name...even with the way he was to me. Why?
I guess because they thought he was so wonderful - and I could not bring it upon myself to disparage him in front of them...some truths for some people are best left untold.
I just played him up and left his memory intact...they were grateful for the donation...and the senior pastor was sifting through the cases and had picked out several.
I guess I was just trying to do good works for the Lord...knowing that I'll never build a stairway to heaven with any deeds that I do...but yet, I'm compelled to do the right thing...and the simple answer is...just so I can live with most of it...
That's what it really comes down to, Marie.
I'm still ambivalent in my feelings towards all of this...I hate to think of a life that goes unnoticed...empty amongst a field of lives that once were.
I told him I would...don't know if I would do the inscription he wanted though..."He Died Climbing."
Climbing to what, Pop? New heights or New Depths?
In Time, I will come to know what to do...I don't know what time that will be...with the fresh wounds that haven't had the chance to scab over...watching and waiting is a good strategy...
That's alot of money...and there already is nothing much left...we're gonna' take a big bath on the house too...totally run down...over 30-40K in value lost due to neglect and sheer apathy.
And then the Wicked Stepmom flys in from Florida on her broomstick to take her 50% of the action.
By the time, I settle it all out and pay everything...well, it will not have been worth it...but I knew that. I just couldn't let the Adopted Daughter just walk right in and take it though.
No way...
Nobody else will contribute...they didn't even send flowers...his wonderful bible school class or nothing...
I might just leave it bare out there forever...really wish I could see through 51-years of anger, bitterness and resentment.
I will get there...as soon as The Lion pulls the thorn out of his paw.
Hugs to You!
-Craig
You ask why you always take the high road...that is easy to answer...it is because you are turely a good man and have the driving desire to do what you feel is right.
I think that if you take a closer look at your dad's life you will find that he was not as admired or well liked as folks would try to make you beleive. As long as he was alive and able to contribute materially folks liked him just fine, but now that he is gone they have moved on. I find that very telling.
The Good Book tells us we can't get to heaven on just our good works. Only if they are accompanied by a true heart do they count.
I know that all of this has brought your anger and ill feelings about your dad to the raw state. I personally know how difficult it is to get past that. You have been fighting cancer with all your might. Now it is time to give up the fight with your dad. What has been done cannot be undone. Do not let it continue to take from you emotionally.
Step into reality about the house. Before you invest more time, effort and money in any part of it look at the balance sheet. Will that effort be worth whatever your part of the outcome will be. If not, then let it go. If you will not be adequately compenstated for your efforts, then let it go. The witch's percentage should not come off the top but after you have been compensated for what you have done as executor.
It has been a really tough year for you but think of each thing you accomplish as one more step toward the finish of it, even when there are setbacks.
Always remember that you may be thin on the blood relatives you want to claim, but you have a multitude of us out here who gladly claim you as brother and friend.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties0 -
KK...Lovekitties said:Dear Lion
You ask why you always take the high road...that is easy to answer...it is because you are turely a good man and have the driving desire to do what you feel is right.
I think that if you take a closer look at your dad's life you will find that he was not as admired or well liked as folks would try to make you beleive. As long as he was alive and able to contribute materially folks liked him just fine, but now that he is gone they have moved on. I find that very telling.
The Good Book tells us we can't get to heaven on just our good works. Only if they are accompanied by a true heart do they count.
I know that all of this has brought your anger and ill feelings about your dad to the raw state. I personally know how difficult it is to get past that. You have been fighting cancer with all your might. Now it is time to give up the fight with your dad. What has been done cannot be undone. Do not let it continue to take from you emotionally.
Step into reality about the house. Before you invest more time, effort and money in any part of it look at the balance sheet. Will that effort be worth whatever your part of the outcome will be. If not, then let it go. If you will not be adequately compenstated for your efforts, then let it go. The witch's percentage should not come off the top but after you have been compensated for what you have done as executor.
It has been a really tough year for you but think of each thing you accomplish as one more step toward the finish of it, even when there are setbacks.
Always remember that you may be thin on the blood relatives you want to claim, but you have a multitude of us out here who gladly claim you as brother and friend.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties
I'm too close too quit now...that would be worse for me personally.
I've already paid so much of the freight...I might as well drag it across the finish line...
I'm hoping to have the house cleaned out tomorrow it looks like...I'm going to pay the salvage guy about $45 more to clear the attic and the last part of the garage...that hill will finally be climbed.
As for as the plumbing, we've got to have heat in the house...that's what caused the problem...they cut the heat and dumped the washer water and the floor buckled up as a result.
I'll talk to the realtor to see what she thinks...I found leftover cases of flooring...enough to do some kind of a patch job...just have to find the labor and skill that I don't possess.
Then someone cleans the house...someone cleans the carpets...and then we officially list the property.
I'm too close to finishing, Marie...the house will be a tough sell in and of itself...the way the floor is now would be an even bigger turnoff to a buyer...I'm going to get an estimate and evaulate from there.
I am gonna' charge the estate for some labor and expenses like this...enough that she feels the pinch...it is only right though she'll have a fit...but I can handle her.
I'll just shut up now and go back to taking care of business. I guess I'll see everybody when it's all over...
Just thank you for being you:)
I'm sorry I'm so difficult...I guess I've been hurt worse than I realized.
My deepest apologies to the community at large...0 -
Thank You One and All...Sundanceh said:"The Burden"
Now is a good time to tell this story...
In the closing weeks of my last fight, my dad had come over to take my car...his had finally stopped running (it was junk) and he wanted to use mine...said he might fix a few things...but wanted me to "sell" it to him and sign the title over to him....
With the agreement, that upon his death it would be willed back to me.
I was deep in the throes of Folfiri...I had chemo brain...I was so sick...and I found out that dad was trying to take advantage of me...while I was so ill....found out later after the fact, that he was going to give my car to Adopted Daughter.
I was so sick with chemo brain, that I willingly gave him the keys and let him drive my car away at the time, not knowing what his true motives were.
When I took my car back (luckily he did not ruin it like everything else he touched), she ended up taking his (which was borrowed from a friend) and then gave it to her daughter to use to drive around in.
That's what would have happened to my car:(
I had been sleeping in the front room...Kim brought him in to see me...I looked terrible and hadn't showered in days...I looked like I was homeless and near death...I hate that Folfiri.
You should have seen the look on his face when he saw what I looked like...
It was sheer horror...he had never seen me like this...because, as with you, I always make it look a little too easy...and I portray a different image, so as not to upset people.
So, I had covered up my 8-years from him and he never had any idea...until that day.
He came to the side of the bed and touched my hair...it must have been too much as he quickly left the room.
I heard him telling Kim..."I've never seen him look like that, he looks so bad."
And Kim said, "Yeah, that's the side that Craig never lets you see...he has made it easy on you."
And then, I'll never forget the next sentence...
He told Kim, "I'm glad you were there to take The Burden from me..."
He never called me that year...never came by...had stopped coming to the surgeries two surgeries before...more trouble than he was worth.
One night, he nearly killed me by his stupidity and his prejudice...was right after I got home from the original rectal resection...my bowel had twisted...and the gas was so painful I thought I was gonna' pop...the kind where you get a good burp...and before your finished, it fills right back up.
I said, Dad call the surgeon...and he said, I'll call the other doctor...and I said, no, the surgeon, because he did the surgery...the onc can't help.
But, dad didn't call while I lay back in bed in serious condition (Kim was working late shift)...
When she got home, there was an exchange of words and dad quickly left, the coward he was at not being able to handle confrontation. Kim knew how sick I was and once I began to throw up bile and everything, we headed back to that hospital at 1am to the ER...we had gotten there in time.
Know why didn't call for help?
Because, my surgeon was Hispanic...yep, a preacher, a man of God...full of hate and prejudice.
He told me how terrible he was and that he would not have picked him. I said, the man spared me from a colostomy and cut my cancer out and helped save my life.
So, it's nice to know that the "Oooh Ahhh" moment of my conception was nothing more than a splash of protoplasm against my mom's vaginal walls.
Truly, I was a blessing...
Dad told me that I was "planned."
What was the plan that night, dad - an orgasm?
Mission Accomplished.
I was never more than some kind of "trophy" for the big old preacher...all dolled up in my little suits that helped to falsify an image that never was - but was readily accepted as fact.
The question is..."Am I really more than that to any of you?"
I'm so sorry...I just need to talk.
I just wanted to thank each of you for taking your time to put your feelings into words for me. I truly appreciate your responses.
I know I've worn my welcome out with this...I apologize.
I guess I'm just understanding how a parent's damage to their children can go on long into adulthood...just because we get older, it does not lessen the pain we felt or feel now.
I covered it up for decades...and now, I just can't anymore...
It's just playing itself out finally...I'm grateful that someone will listen to me right now...if not for the board, I'd have nobody to talk to about how I feel...and there is no telling which way I would have gone, if not for some human contact.
The live you save may have been mine.0 -
CraigSundanceh said:Thank You One and All...
I just wanted to thank each of you for taking your time to put your feelings into words for me. I truly appreciate your responses.
I know I've worn my welcome out with this...I apologize.
I guess I'm just understanding how a parent's damage to their children can go on long into adulthood...just because we get older, it does not lessen the pain we felt or feel now.
I covered it up for decades...and now, I just can't anymore...
It's just playing itself out finally...I'm grateful that someone will listen to me right now...if not for the board, I'd have nobody to talk to about how I feel...and there is no telling which way I would have gone, if not for some human contact.
The live you save may have been mine.
Craig,
Don't be hard on yourself. I hope you dont mind me saying this, but your dad had narcissistic personality disorder. He was mentally ill.
I'm sorry that your life has been so, sooooo hard.
But, you survived more than one beast.
You turned out to be such an honorable, decent person, I'm not sure very many people could have done this.
I hope you can put most of this behind you. Start livin a happy life. You've got it in you.
You' ve done all that you need to do. More than ENOUGH!!!!!
Do i have to come down there and give you a whoopin.0 -
Yes You Do!janie1 said:Craig
Craig,
Don't be hard on yourself. I hope you dont mind me saying this, but your dad had narcissistic personality disorder. He was mentally ill.
I'm sorry that your life has been so, sooooo hard.
But, you survived more than one beast.
You turned out to be such an honorable, decent person, I'm not sure very many people could have done this.
I hope you can put most of this behind you. Start livin a happy life. You've got it in you.
You' ve done all that you need to do. More than ENOUGH!!!!!
Do i have to come down there and give you a whoopin.
In fact, I want all of you to come and see me:)
That's what I want for Xmas...all my real friends...and a quick sell to the house.
You are one bright lady, Joan!
Dad was mentally ill...I just never saw it...I saw mom's, but dad had me buffaloed through fear all of my life.
But, you got it sooo right...I've only discovered this recently as we've traveled through this.
Mom and Dad were both narcissists...it was a hard way to grow up...you really had to fight for any attention...most of the time, I just retreated into my own world back in whatever room was mine.
I've been lucky to have the innate ability to be able to live inside my own mind.
I just wanted to give you a big hug for your brilliant insight...you're steadily moving up in rank in the Sundance Army:)
I can't tell you how much I need to hug each and everyone of you honey mama's right about now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Marie needed a spell from me...I've been wearing her last nerve out all year long...you all know you gotta' take shifts with me...it continues to take a village.
I am worth it though, right?
Love/Craig
That's right, I said love:)0 -
You're worth it, Craig.Sundanceh said:Yes You Do!
In fact, I want all of you to come and see me:)
That's what I want for Xmas...all my real friends...and a quick sell to the house.
You are one bright lady, Joan!
Dad was mentally ill...I just never saw it...I saw mom's, but dad had me buffaloed through fear all of my life.
But, you got it sooo right...I've only discovered this recently as we've traveled through this.
Mom and Dad were both narcissists...it was a hard way to grow up...you really had to fight for any attention...most of the time, I just retreated into my own world back in whatever room was mine.
I've been lucky to have the innate ability to be able to live inside my own mind.
I just wanted to give you a big hug for your brilliant insight...you're steadily moving up in rank in the Sundance Army:)
I can't tell you how much I need to hug each and everyone of you honey mama's right about now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Marie needed a spell from me...I've been wearing her last nerve out all year long...you all know you gotta' take shifts with me...it continues to take a village.
I am worth it though, right?
Love/Craig
That's right, I said love:)
If
You're worth it, Craig.
If we have to start pulling double-shifts though, that could get a little pricey.
We could break the fees down....ala carte, if that would help. Maybe a payment plan, or, a pre-payment plan.
I'm sorry, but all the money that was spent on your Pop's funeral, and now where the heck is he???
Well that is all just too ironic. Sometimes things are just meant to be.0 -
Hugs to you Craigjanie1 said:You're worth it, Craig.
If
You're worth it, Craig.
If we have to start pulling double-shifts though, that could get a little pricey.
We could break the fees down....ala carte, if that would help. Maybe a payment plan, or, a pre-payment plan.
I'm sorry, but all the money that was spent on your Pop's funeral, and now where the heck is he???
Well that is all just too ironic. Sometimes things are just meant to be.
Craig -
This hurts me to read this post. Many parts of it parallel to how my mom treats me.
It took me 50 something years to figure it out. It does feel damaging but you are a kind person and leader on this board. You are insightful and give us all hope - which is priceless!
Run with what you have and know you are kind and deserving!
Its good you can release your feelings here.
I think we all have moments or situations that are unbearable but you are always stating them in ways that shine and demonstrate all your many, many loving qualities!
May your father rest in peace and may he see a white light to what a good son he has.
Keep roaring Lion!
Barb0 -
Wow
You have been through so much and now all this. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. It's terrible what funeral homes charge and then so rip you off at your most vulnerable point is almost unthinkable. But they are there to get your money when you are vulnerable and they take advantage of it. Sorry to say, but there is a lot of that going around lately. Hope you have a little relax time during Christmas. You surely deserve it.
Kim0 -
Craig
Craig,
My friend, I am glad you can share here. We care about you so much. One of the amazing things about you is that you had so much pain growing up but you are able to love so much now. That is a huge tribute to you. I pray that as time goes on more healing will occur and that you can let go more and more. You deserve to be free from this past. I pray that you let go as much as you can, when you can and that peace will come.
Aloha,
Kathleen0 -
Be careful what you ask forSundanceh said:Yes You Do!
In fact, I want all of you to come and see me:)
That's what I want for Xmas...all my real friends...and a quick sell to the house.
You are one bright lady, Joan!
Dad was mentally ill...I just never saw it...I saw mom's, but dad had me buffaloed through fear all of my life.
But, you got it sooo right...I've only discovered this recently as we've traveled through this.
Mom and Dad were both narcissists...it was a hard way to grow up...you really had to fight for any attention...most of the time, I just retreated into my own world back in whatever room was mine.
I've been lucky to have the innate ability to be able to live inside my own mind.
I just wanted to give you a big hug for your brilliant insight...you're steadily moving up in rank in the Sundance Army:)
I can't tell you how much I need to hug each and everyone of you honey mama's right about now.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Marie needed a spell from me...I've been wearing her last nerve out all year long...you all know you gotta' take shifts with me...it continues to take a village.
I am worth it though, right?
Love/Craig
That's right, I said love:)
Be careful what you ask for - I might just show up on your doorstep!
My sentiments are similar to the others, so there's no point in repeating their words. Just wanted to remind you that there are people out here that truly care about you and love you. The house stuff will soon be in the rear view mirror and then you can take a deep breath and finally get some well deserved rest.
Hugs ((())). Luv ya buddy!
Cyn0 -
Craig,Sundanceh said:Sometimes I Wish You Would, J
I know...it was just a shock to go up there and find out that I'd once again fallen through the cracks in the system...they were supposed to notify me, but the cemetery person had left and the new one never contacted me...until I got hold of her yesterday.
I'm just a man of my word, J...take it seriously...and I told him I would...and had every intention of filling that promise.
I even made sure I placed The Fork between his hands in the casket the way he requested....everything up and down the line...I figured 2K would get you granite or marble, not bronze...I'm sure it's small too...told her to keep her brochures and hung up on her.
I'm still worried about cleaning out the house...still can't get it there...and I've got fix the plumbing and have some of the flooring replaced....and the house cleaned...and then carpet cleaners to come in...carpet has not been vacumed in 8-years...
And then try to give the realtor the go - on the list...shooting for first week of Jan13 now.
So, yeah, I've got more to worry about than a marker...but still, it struck me funny. I hate injustice...even for those who have hurt me. Wrong is just wrong...I think what they are doing is just wrong.
But, it's just too much $$$ to invest in that...I've still got so many expenses to go yet...it just may not be financially feasible...I wouldn't want that kind of money spent on me.
Strictly retail...and they say it with an Up Yours Take it or Leave It attitude that kinda turned me off.
So, I may just leave it off.
Would that be wrong?
I'll be waiting for you...but no bopping...how about some cookin'?
I can't get a meal on the table in the last couple of months...soup or cheerios is the difference between life and death for me...or a box of Krispy Kremes...I can stretch those for lunch and dinner for about 3 days.
Love/Craig
No it would not be
Craig,
No it would not be wrong to just leave it. I wish i could come cook for you. You have a lot on your plate, but you need to step back and take one day at a time. Mark off one thing at a time. Your closer to being done than you were. You'll get there, then you can walk away. Think what you would say to any of us. If i have learned one thing in my life is that "this too shall pass". Sometimes it takes a really long time, but it will pass. Seems like some people just have more trials than others. I used to tell God, 'You overestimating me again!'.
But somehow I got through it, you will too. You know the old saying What don't kill you, makes you stronger. Well at this point I could bench press a Cadillac.
Treat yourself to a good meal, remember your body needs you to take care of it. Your dad is not the same person as he was on this side. He now knows what is important. That would be YOU. So take a deep breath, order a steak an be grateful I am not cooking it for you. ; )
(((((Hugs)))))
Judy0 -
Man...
I definitely do not want to walk a mile in your moccasins -- but I hope you do for many, many years. Your story reminds me of how very lucky I was with 2 loving, caring parents. They're both long gone, as are 2 brothers, but my memories are cherished. You're like a diamond, my friend, born out of fire and pressure, and now the toughest thing around. Don't be too hard on yourself, and let things go. Breathe. I'm relatively new here but have found your story and writings compelling. Prayers and good vibes coming to you from a couple of states north. Dan0 -
Another Brick in the Wall...12.14.12JayhawkDan said:Man...
I definitely do not want to walk a mile in your moccasins -- but I hope you do for many, many years. Your story reminds me of how very lucky I was with 2 loving, caring parents. They're both long gone, as are 2 brothers, but my memories are cherished. You're like a diamond, my friend, born out of fire and pressure, and now the toughest thing around. Don't be too hard on yourself, and let things go. Breathe. I'm relatively new here but have found your story and writings compelling. Prayers and good vibes coming to you from a couple of states north. Dan
Plumber got out there...and bad news...
Everything is out of code...from the gas meter at the street all the way into the house...gas valves etc. etc. all need replaced due to age....before we can get the city inspector to look at it...there could be more things, depending on what the inspection revealed.
Plus, the water heater now...
About $3500 more...$$$ I'll never see back with the sale of the house...as the house itself will have to be given away due to the neglect...
The floor continues to break apart and the laundry area and most of the kitchen is now affected...it's all this wood parquet type of stuff, all downstairs...so I imagine this will be continuing...until I can find a way to stop it.
I'll have to front it, of course...as the ex's phone now rings to voicemail...I'll take it out of her end of the estate if she refuses to cooperate...she's behind a month or so on part of the utility package as well.
I'll just hold on and try and recap what I can when I get to the next phase.
Looks like I see the direction of where the last couple of weeks of this terrible year will be leading...2012 is a four-letter word to me:(
As Marlon Brando said in Apocalypse Now circa 1979..."The horror...the horror..."0 -
So sorrySundanceh said:Another Brick in the Wall...12.14.12
Plumber got out there...and bad news...
Everything is out of code...from the gas meter at the street all the way into the house...gas valves etc. etc. all need replaced due to age....before we can get the city inspector to look at it...there could be more things, depending on what the inspection revealed.
Plus, the water heater now...
About $3500 more...$$$ I'll never see back with the sale of the house...as the house itself will have to be given away due to the neglect...
The floor continues to break apart and the laundry area and most of the kitchen is now affected...it's all this wood parquet type of stuff, all downstairs...so I imagine this will be continuing...until I can find a way to stop it.
I'll have to front it, of course...as the ex's phone now rings to voicemail...I'll take it out of her end of the estate if she refuses to cooperate...she's behind a month or so on part of the utility package as well.
I'll just hold on and try and recap what I can when I get to the next phase.
Looks like I see the direction of where the last couple of weeks of this terrible year will be leading...2012 is a four-letter word to me:(
As Marlon Brando said in Apocalypse Now circa 1979..."The horror...the horror..."
So sorry to hear of this new issue. I am a big fan of watching re-hab programs and old homes are definately a money pit when it comes to needed repairs of "not up to code" things like plumming and electric.
You may want to check with the real estate agent and find out what the structure is really worth. May be that the land it stands on is worth more.
I know it means more money but it might be worth getting a home inspection done now before you invest any more into repairing the structure. One will be done by anyone purchasing the house anyway. It might be more advantageous to sell it "as is" then to try to repair or pay the new owner to repair. Just a thought.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties0 -
Dear Marie:)Lovekitties said:So sorry
So sorry to hear of this new issue. I am a big fan of watching re-hab programs and old homes are definately a money pit when it comes to needed repairs of "not up to code" things like plumming and electric.
You may want to check with the real estate agent and find out what the structure is really worth. May be that the land it stands on is worth more.
I know it means more money but it might be worth getting a home inspection done now before you invest any more into repairing the structure. One will be done by anyone purchasing the house anyway. It might be more advantageous to sell it "as is" then to try to repair or pay the new owner to repair. Just a thought.
Hugs,
Marie who loves kitties
That's the way it is leaning right now...I've got to unload before we go under completely...this is the only repair I'm making...if the floor repair is too high, we just reduce the price to compensate.
And such and such on down the list if it arises...as you say, it was going for "As Is" before this started...I don't know what we label it right now....a nightmare maybe.
luckily the pipes held up during the freeze...keeping the water moving probably helped there.
I got through the summer without running the a/c...but I know it needs replaced too...dad had gotten an estimate of about of about $2600...I told the ex we were holding because it still worked...
And you know...great minds think alike...what did you used to tell me? When you get Texas and Virginia together?...LOL!
$hit, I grinned...sorry:)
This morning, I did call the realtor and brought her up to speed on the latest developments...of course, she is sorry to hear of all of this. Of course, with the plumbing and gas issues, they have to be resolved...which that has been going over there today.
I sent my other infantry person over there...and one of the poor guys that showed up to help me clear trash got the initial brunt of her attack.
But, I asked the agent, "how much would you spend if you were me on trying to patch this floor?"
She said, just a few hundred at best...
And I said, if it's more than that, we can just strip the floor and start reducing the asking price, right?
Yes and more yes...
Kim got a hold of the ex this morning...and surprisingly she is going to help us with 1/2 of the $3500 bill.
With the fixes (with or without repairing floor, we should be able to get the gas turned on...I guess after the inspection?
Then we hire a house cleaning service...she said she will pay 1/2...and a carpet cleaner, just for sanitation and because the house smells so bad. He never vacumed the whole 8-years since she left him...the dirt has grown legs...I actually saw some running off into the corner:)
Then we list...
You know, Marie...always when you get to the end of any fight - you have to reach down deeper than you ever thought you could - and you have to fight the hardest as the clock is winding down and your down to your last shot(s).
The ability to face down Adversity, rather than turning and running, is the key component in anyone's armorment. This quality to engage is the driving force thin veil that ultimately decides the outcome of the contested event.
And Out I will Come....from and through all of this:)
You have my word on it:)
Adapt and Overcome...
Thank you for your continued support, my Virgina Honey Mama!
You know you're one of the biggest reasons I stay here, don't you?
Now, you do:)
What would you do without me?
I know, I know...much better:)
Certainly much quieter:)
But, it would never be boring:)
Love you!
-Craig0 -
Craig
you will NEVER wear out your welcome on here so put that thought out of your head. we are all here to listen & to give you support because we love you & you are an important guy! i know the house & finishing up other details connected with your dad is extremely hard on you but stay strong & let us help you thru all of this mess. you have been an outstanding son even tho your dad did not notice. it could be that your dad could not handle that you are the better one. what you put up with is more than what most people could deal with. you have to take care of yourself because that is the most important issue & you do not need all this extra stress so please put yourself first. do what you think is best but please do not try to do everything you think your dad wanted. that would be unfair to you. sorry at the funeral you got bad vibes from some of the church people. that just was not right! do not even think about such insensitive people. they do not deserve your thoughts! praying that your tomorrows will be better.
hugs
judy0 -
CraigSundanceh said:Hey Babe
Dear Winter,
As I was reading through the responses, I was weighted and heavy, to the point where I thought I was just gonna' burst...so many powerful emotions swirling around my mind - it sounded like the Daytona 500 in there.
I was reading your tragic story that you chose to share with me - and it made me think of why I stay here...I don't stay here for Cancer...I stay here because of the people that I've met...and the folks whom I've so closely bonded with.
Cancer just provides me the opportunity to talk to you...and from there, we find that we have way more in common than just our cancer...
And that's what I hope that I have shown during my time here.
So, as I was reading down your post, filled with some brilliant insight I might add, I got to the very bottom...
"he had you and in turn, we have you, and I'm pretty grateful for that."~WM
Those words were so comforting to me, that I let go and started to sob...I had to walk away from the keyboard and over to the counter...and then sort of a burst of controlled sobbing, for about 15-seconds, until I could gather my composure.
Everything had been welling up and my cup had runneth over...and your words allowed just enough steam and a permissive release to let some of my feelings escape.
It wasn't like what you saw in the Dr. Phil video...I didn't re-record that, because I always feel that we should never be embarassed about what we are feeling, especially if those feelings are true and sincere.
But, this one might have hurt some of you, because I couldn't stop it for those few seconds...
At different times when our friends have passed, I've been overcome with such grief and anguish, that I open up my mouth...and I'm screaming...but I can't hear it...the pain is so deep that it muffles the sound. That's a hard cry when you feel that pain but no sound comes out.
That's some deep $hit right there...
I'm reminded of the closing scenes in the Godfather III...where Michael's daughter was accidentally shot and killed...and Michael is crying over his daughter, but it takes forever for him to find the voice.
Something like that...
But, this was controlled, but sort of uncontrollable...
Again, I'm once again reminded of the impact that words can have on one another, especially when we find ourselves in a vulnerable state...that sometimes that one sentence or thought, acts as a life preserver that gets us through the evening, so that we don't drown.
So, thank you, Honey, for that!
I've taught you well, Grasshopper....the Student now teaches the Master:)
Actually, you were doing just fine long before you ever met me...
Now, me, on the other hand...LOL!
Double Love/Craig
As much as you have been here for me, watching over me, keeping an eye on me, how could I not let you know how much you mean to me, to us?
I know it is extremely tough times for you right now, with memories that don't seem to stop, and neglect by your father, not only of you, but of his house as well, makes those memories even stronger...but Craig, you are a man on internal strength, you could not have survived this long going through what you have been through without being so. I'm proud of you Craig and how you are handling this, keep staying strong my friend, and let that strength you draw on be what gets you through this all the way.
Triple Love back at you!!!
Winter Marie0 -
Everything you have gone
Everything you have gone through and are going through makes me very proud and happy to call you my friend. Kim0
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