Hi Guys & Gals...it's been awhile!

Chris Ptown
Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
in Anal Cancer #1
Just wanted to say hi to you folks because last year you really helped me a lot while I was going through treatments. I alwo wanted to let you know that my mum passed away on Saturday, September 22nd. She just went so fast that day and I was here in Provincetown and not in Maine where she passed away in the hospital. We all thought she was going to be around through next year and hoping she would make it to her 80th birthday in April but that wasn't to be. She just was unresponsive on that Saturday and my sister got worried and called 911. They came and took her in the ambulance to the hospital but she never came to again. It appears that she had an infection caused by her lung cancer and so her white blood cells were extremely high and her heart rate was very low. They couldn't stableize her and she stopped breathing. She had do not resisitate on her forms so my dad told the doctor to let her go. My sister and my dad were there and she passed away at 819pm. I was at work at the theater in Provincetown where I work and got the call from my sister. What made me mad was that i was going to Maine the next day to spend a couple weeks with her. I ended up going the next day anyway but never saw her again. I did the euology at her funeral because my two sisters could not. I have to tell you guys that the whole time I was going through chemo and radiation all I could think about was my mum as she was going through her terminal cancer. She never once complained the whole 13 months she battled and only asked me how I was doing. She was the first person to call me when I found out I had stage 2 anal cancer to tell me that I was going to be alright. I hate cancer so much its hard to explain to you. I am sure those of you who have lost a family member to cancer know exactly what I am talking about. All we can do for ourselves is fight and try to take care of ourselves but for me, I feel guilty that I am still here and my mum is gone. She was only 79 and these days thats young. She smoked until 1975 but quit so I dont understand how she got lung cancer and how fast it took her from us. Anyway, best to all of you and again, thanks so much for helping me every time i posted last year with all your wonderful thoughts and prayers. You all are good people. Cheers! Chris

Comments

  • Marynb
    Marynb Member Posts: 1,118
    #2
    Hi Chris
    I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were blessed with a wonderful mother and that she loved you very much. I have battled two cancers and I can tell you that, as a mother, my child's well being was my main concern throughout the treatment. A mother wants her children to be happy and well. I am sure she would not want you to regret one day of the great life you have ahead of you! Honor her by having the best life that you can!

    I lost my best friend to lung cancer one year ago. My parents were already passed when I battled cancer twice. Like your Mom, my friend was the first voice I heard in the ICU after surgery, urging me to open my eyes. Weeks after, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died very quickly. Oh, yes, I hate cancer too. But we are here now. Every day is a blessing.

    Take care. Lucky you to be from Maine(my favorite place on earth) , and Ptown, a beautiful spot too!
  • Dog Girl
    Dog Girl Member Posts: 100
    #3
    Your Mom
    Chris,

    I just wanted to give my condolences about your Mom too. I lost my Momma this past May 26th, so that hurt is still new for me as well. Momma had been in poor health for several years, but she kept on ticking until she just couldn't anymore. My friends called her old Ironsides, (in an affectionate way of course)and she passed a couple of months after she turned 89, so she did live a long and full life. I live in an adjacent state, so since our tx for AC is relatively short, I never told my parents about my cancer. It would have just worried my Mom too much. I did have to do a few white lies. For example she saw my port scar and asked about that, but I made up a quick lie about how I had tripped over roots in my yard and had fallen and cut myself. People asked me how I could lie about having cancer and I said I had lied about a lot less important things in the past; especially as a teenager! LOL!

    I know you were quite freaked out before tx started, but you came through just fine and I am so glad you are doing well. We've had a couple of men on the board since you've last posted, so don't be a stranger as your experiences and tips of the trade may be helpful to the guys who find us. Some of the issues will be universal between men and women, but it is always good to hear from someone whom has walked in your shoes, so we need the male voices too.
  • sandysp
    sandysp Member Posts: 868 Member
    #4
    So Sorry about your Mom
    You are a very tough guy, Chris. I feel sad you felt you didn't get to say goodbye. I lost my Mom in August and I know how it hurts. She never got a diagnosis as to what was wrong with her so I can't blame it on Cancer but death is death and it sucks too. Although,like Paul the apostle, I believe we are in eternity now and your mom is just fine. I have already found how with this distance (the veil) how even sweeter my memories are.

    All the best to you. Keep your extraordinary attitude.

    Sandy
  • lizdeli
    lizdeli Member Posts: 569 Member
    #5
    sandysp said:

    So Sorry about your Mom
    You are a very tough guy, Chris. I feel sad you felt you didn't get to say goodbye. I lost my Mom in August and I know how it hurts. She never got a diagnosis as to what was wrong with her so I can't blame it on Cancer but death is death and it sucks too. Although,like Paul the apostle, I believe we are in eternity now and your mom is just fine. I have already found how with this distance (the veil) how even sweeter my memories are.

    All the best to you. Keep your extraordinary attitude.

    Sandy

    So sorry Chris
    Chris,
    I am saddened to hear about your Mom's passing. It is a very difficult thing to go through and my heart goes out to you. Both my parents died way too soon and although time does help us learn to cope better we never stop missing them. May her memory be everlasting. You know how much she loved you so in those moments when you feel down, listen and you will hear her comforting you and guiding you. My Mom died before I was diagonosed and I recall that when I got the news that I had cancer she was the only person I wanted. I needed her hugs and love. She couldn't physically be there but I know she was with me and I heard her words of comfort and guidance.

    I pray that you and your family will find comfort in the memories of your dear Mom.
    Wishing you strength and healing,
    Liz
  • AZANNIE
    AZANNIE Member Posts: 445 Member
    #6
    Chris
    My condolences to you in the loss of your mother.

    Ann
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #7
    Hi Chris--
    I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. It is heartbreaking to lose a parent and it doesn't matter what age we are when they are gone. My deepest condolences to you, your dad, and your sisters. I hope you are staying strong and finding comfort in the many happy memories you have of your mother. She would want you to now focus on staying healthy and making the most of each and every day, which I'm sure you're doing. She will be your guardian angel for sure. Take care and please check in with us now and then.
  • Chris Ptown
    Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
    #8
    Marynb said:

    Hi Chris
    I am sorry for your loss. It sounds like you were blessed with a wonderful mother and that she loved you very much. I have battled two cancers and I can tell you that, as a mother, my child's well being was my main concern throughout the treatment. A mother wants her children to be happy and well. I am sure she would not want you to regret one day of the great life you have ahead of you! Honor her by having the best life that you can!

    I lost my best friend to lung cancer one year ago. My parents were already passed when I battled cancer twice. Like your Mom, my friend was the first voice I heard in the ICU after surgery, urging me to open my eyes. Weeks after, she was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died very quickly. Oh, yes, I hate cancer too. But we are here now. Every day is a blessing.

    Take care. Lucky you to be from Maine(my favorite place on earth) , and Ptown, a beautiful spot too!

    Thank you Marynb!
    Thank you so much for your posting. I really appreciate you taking the time. Take care.
  • Chris Ptown
    Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
    #9
    Dog Girl said:

    Your Mom
    Chris,

    I just wanted to give my condolences about your Mom too. I lost my Momma this past May 26th, so that hurt is still new for me as well. Momma had been in poor health for several years, but she kept on ticking until she just couldn't anymore. My friends called her old Ironsides, (in an affectionate way of course)and she passed a couple of months after she turned 89, so she did live a long and full life. I live in an adjacent state, so since our tx for AC is relatively short, I never told my parents about my cancer. It would have just worried my Mom too much. I did have to do a few white lies. For example she saw my port scar and asked about that, but I made up a quick lie about how I had tripped over roots in my yard and had fallen and cut myself. People asked me how I could lie about having cancer and I said I had lied about a lot less important things in the past; especially as a teenager! LOL!

    I know you were quite freaked out before tx started, but you came through just fine and I am so glad you are doing well. We've had a couple of men on the board since you've last posted, so don't be a stranger as your experiences and tips of the trade may be helpful to the guys who find us. Some of the issues will be universal between men and women, but it is always good to hear from someone whom has walked in your shoes, so we need the male voices too.

    Thank you Dog Girl
    Thank you Dog Girl and so sorry to hear about your momma. It sucks I know. My mum was too young and she spent the last year of her life in chemo and being in a lot of pain. Not to mention being told you are going to die. I still feel sick to my stomach that she had to go through that but she never complained.
  • Chris Ptown
    Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
    #10
    sandysp said:

    So Sorry about your Mom
    You are a very tough guy, Chris. I feel sad you felt you didn't get to say goodbye. I lost my Mom in August and I know how it hurts. She never got a diagnosis as to what was wrong with her so I can't blame it on Cancer but death is death and it sucks too. Although,like Paul the apostle, I believe we are in eternity now and your mom is just fine. I have already found how with this distance (the veil) how even sweeter my memories are.

    All the best to you. Keep your extraordinary attitude.

    Sandy

    Thank you Sandy!
    Thank you Sandy so much. I am sorry to hear about your mom too. All the best to you too Sandy.
  • Chris Ptown
    Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
    #11
    AZANNIE said:

    Chris
    My condolences to you in the loss of your mother.

    Ann

    Thank you Azannie
    Thank you so much AZANNIE.
  • Chris Ptown
    Chris Ptown Member Posts: 116
    #12
    mp327 said:

    Hi Chris--
    I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. It is heartbreaking to lose a parent and it doesn't matter what age we are when they are gone. My deepest condolences to you, your dad, and your sisters. I hope you are staying strong and finding comfort in the many happy memories you have of your mother. She would want you to now focus on staying healthy and making the most of each and every day, which I'm sure you're doing. She will be your guardian angel for sure. Take care and please check in with us now and then.

    Thank you mp327
    Thank you so much. You were one of the first to help me on here and I will never forget you for that. I hope that your holiday season is a nice one and I thank you again, so much.
  • mp327
    mp327 Member Posts: 4,440 Member
    #13
    Chris Ptown said:

    Thank you mp327
    Thank you so much. You were one of the first to help me on here and I will never forget you for that. I hope that your holiday season is a nice one and I thank you again, so much.

    Hi Chris--
    Thank you for your very kind words and know that I appreciate them so very much. You will have many great memories of your mom and I hope they bring you comfort. Also, when you think of her, do it with much pride because she raised a great son! Although your holidays will be somewhat bittersweet this year, I hope they are happy and filled with lots of love.

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