A Month After My Mom's Sudden Passing

EricaA
EricaA Member Posts: 33
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
Hello everyone. I haven't been back on here since I posted about my mom's sudden death on October 27. I'm having a really hard time coping with it. My first Thanksgiving without her, her birthday is this Saturday, it just all feels like too much. The short lived victory that the mass that was in her neck, was found to be gone a week before she died, is beyond bittersweet. Well, I just wanted to say hi and to thank everyone again for their kinds words and encouragement before and after my mom's death.

Comments

  • luvofmylif
    luvofmylif Member Posts: 344
    #2
    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your pain. I just read a quote today , I think it was from Rose Kennedy. She said she didn't agree that time heals all wounds. She said that the wounds develop a scar over them with time but that they are always there. You just learn to live with the pain. I think that is true. When we lose someone we love we are forced to go on without them, that is what they would want, but life will never be the same without them.

    I had my mom alot longer then you had yours but I still miss her. I am hoping you can live a happy life , that is what your mom would want. No one can take your pain away. It's a process as you know...some good days, some bad days. Grief is personal and can't be rushed.

    Wishing you peace.

    Joan
  • Skiffin16
    Skiffin16 Member Posts: 8,305 Member
    #3
    Blessings...
    Headed your way....

    Something I have not had to deal with as of yet...

    Unfortunately my wife lost her mother a few years ago, and her father a few after that..., not cancer related.

    Her mother's was in November just before Thanksgiving. So it's been a very bitter sweet period for her since.

    She was very close and the Holidays are still very hard for her.

    Something I imagine in time that will lessen the pain. But not sure that it's something that you ever completely get over.

    Lost in body, never in spirit...

    Best,
    John
  • EricaA
    EricaA Member Posts: 33
    #4
    luvofmylif said:

    I am so sorry about your
    I am so sorry about your pain. I just read a quote today , I think it was from Rose Kennedy. She said she didn't agree that time heals all wounds. She said that the wounds develop a scar over them with time but that they are always there. You just learn to live with the pain. I think that is true. When we lose someone we love we are forced to go on without them, that is what they would want, but life will never be the same without them.

    I had my mom alot longer then you had yours but I still miss her. I am hoping you can live a happy life , that is what your mom would want. No one can take your pain away. It's a process as you know...some good days, some bad days. Grief is personal and can't be rushed.

    Wishing you peace.

    Joan

    Thanks
    Thank you Joan
  • EricaA
    EricaA Member Posts: 33
    #5
    Skiffin16 said:

    Blessings...
    Headed your way....

    Something I have not had to deal with as of yet...

    Unfortunately my wife lost her mother a few years ago, and her father a few after that..., not cancer related.

    Her mother's was in November just before Thanksgiving. So it's been a very bitter sweet period for her since.

    She was very close and the Holidays are still very hard for her.

    Something I imagine in time that will lessen the pain. But not sure that it's something that you ever completely get over.

    Lost in body, never in spirit...

    Best,
    John

    Thanks John

    Thanks John
  • Billie67
    Billie67 Member Posts: 898
    #6
    EricaA said:

    Thanks John

    Thanks John

    Erica
    I'm so sorry for your pain and I hope that in a short time you will begin to heal. When my mom died I was a little girl about 11 years old. I didn't understand what was going on, it was just too much. Someone told me something that I remember to this day...."God picks the prettiest flowers first, that way when we get to heaven it will be beautiful"
    It made me feel better, I hope it will help you too.
    Take care,
    Billie
  • phrannie51
    phrannie51 Member Posts: 4,716
    #7
    Losing our moms is something that we never
    get totally over. My mom passed away almost 7 years ago, yet not a day goes by that I don't think of her in some capacity...she is hardwired into my mind. The pain gets less, but we never stop missing them....

    p
  • CivilMatt
    CivilMatt Member Posts: 4,724 Member
    #8
    Best wishes
    Erica,

    Nice of you to visit us. I am sorry for your difficulty coping with the loss of your Mom. It is never easy with someone you love. You were such a champion for your Mom.

    Best always,
    Matt
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #9
    I Think the Surprise Makes it Worse
    Still feeling very sorry for you - I know the pain of losing a mother. I, too, felt I wasn't coping very well after my mother died. I'm thinking that many of us feel that way, whether we are willing to admit it or not. As for her upcoming birthday - I'm aching for you.
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #10
    Sending you warmest regards !
    Erica,
    I hear the love in your words. My Mother has been gone for 3 yrs., and it seems like yesterday some days. The pain does ease up as time passes, but never the love and memories. Hang on to that. Will be thinking of you and your family. Please visit once in awhile and let us know you're o.k. Katie
  • EricaA
    EricaA Member Posts: 33
    #11
    katenorwood said:

    Sending you warmest regards !
    Erica,
    I hear the love in your words. My Mother has been gone for 3 yrs., and it seems like yesterday some days. The pain does ease up as time passes, but never the love and memories. Hang on to that. Will be thinking of you and your family. Please visit once in awhile and let us know you're o.k. Katie

    Thanks
    Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate it.
  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #12
    EricaA said:

    Thanks
    Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

    You have your mother's smile ....
    Thinking of you and her on her B-day today (Saturday) ......I honor her as a fellow H&N warrior and you as her caregiver...

    Bless you and whispered a prayer for your comfort....

    Best,

    Tim
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #13
    EricaA said:

    Thanks
    Thanks everyone for your kind words. I really appreciate it.

    Hard Day
    Hoping you can find some moments of happy memories

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