Turkey Day - Just Remember They Love You

If some of the folks you're gathering with today seem to be watching you and trying to not let you catch them at it, or talking quietly, and peeking your way - please try to tell yourself that they love you, and are concerned, and don't want to ask you about your cancer or treatment, because they don't want to wreck your day.

OK - some are just nosey. Some are nasty and are gossiping ("I can't believe she's eating that - she's supposed to be building up her immune system, I heard". "He's just wanting attention - my neighbor's cousin's landlord's sister had that cancer, and you'd never know it."). Some want to ignore it, to keep up their comfort level. But chances are they care about you, hope you're not dying, and wish you could pig out like you used to today.

I remember being weak and sick and tired and having no appetite, but wanting to eat to please them, and only eating a few bites buried in gravy on THanksgiving during treatment (induction chemo after biopsies and tonsillectomy). I got the looks, and saw some smiles when I put food in my mouth, and concerned looks of some checking my plate to see if I'd taken enough food.

THEIR happiness does not depend on you. Don't feel like you've failed if you are tired, or can't eat enough to make them happy. The vast majority of our group in treatment will be able to be a full member of the tight waistband club next year.

Have as Happy a Thanksgiving as you possible can today - a little faking is fine, but worry about your own wellbeing before worrying about pleasing others.