Stance to endure

hwt said:

Katie
I know it is difficult and the emotions run high. Please take this Thanksgiving day to put the worries aside and enjoy your blessings and family. Today is a gift. You can worry tomorrow if you chose too.

Stance to endure
and pissed off are both good places to begin and exactly where you need to be. From there it's all uncharted waters for anyone who hasn't sailed here before, so the list gets narrow for sure. You can ask ten people what to do but unless they have been where you are, well you know the answer to that. Put it aside for today, it's too much to wrap your mind around all at once. You don't have to be thankful for any damn thing today, you just have to be.

VivianLee5689 said:

I empathize with you Katie
It is Thanksgiving and a time to be thankful, but I am having a hard time with that today. Just finding out two days ago that David has either Multiple Myeloma or Plasma Cell Leukemia has broken my heart. Wasn't it bad enough to go through the head and neck cancer? I could sit here all day and write why this is so unfair and that I don't know where to go, because I don't. In the end we still have today, we still have each other. I still have David, even if he doesn't talk much, doesn't eat and looks totally miserable. He is still alive. I am going to hang on to that for today. I am so sorry for the hand you have been dealt. At this point all we can do is go on living and fight like h***. Cancer really is on my naughty list this year.

So sorry for all that you go
So sorry for all that you go though and you have every right to feel any d---- emotion you want to feel. I know how hard it is just seeing my dear husband go through this. Fear permeates me at times. So, I can only imagine how much more our loved ones with cancer deal with.

As we all know we only have the here and now...the today , so I am mentally just trying to be thankful for this. I won't sit here though, and tell you how you should be. But, I hope you keep fighting and I hope you enjoy today with your loved ones. Thats one thing I have learned more then ever. The joy in life comes from people , not from things.

You should vent on this site anytime you need to , if it helps even in some small way for you to continue on your course. We are all bonded together through this one word called "cancer".

Joan

Katie.....you sound totally normal to me....
I say that and then giggle cuz I'm sure there are some people in the world who'd rather be pronounced normal by just about anybody else than me...LOL. Today is today, and this is how you feel...you're in "muddied waters"...that means you can't get any vision of what is before you...I've also picked up over the last few months, that you're not the kind of person who accepts defeat easily. So yeah, being pissed off seems completely within the realm of normal to me. I think it'd be kind of abnormal to feel upbeat and smiling all the time going thru what you're going thru.

I do know this, tho...it's how you feel today...tomorrow will come and your perspective will shift, and how you feel will shift with it. You are a natural born fighter, Katie...I know tomorrow will be a better day.

p

Greend said:

It is tough
It is hard to stay upbeat all of the time when you really are worn down. Just accept the fact that you have the right to be depressed but WE do not give you the right to quit. Hang in there and happy Thanksgiving.

Denny

Dear Katie...
I totally understand you and your feelings. My ability is to feel with people - maybe even too much. It seems to me sometimes that I want so badly for everyone to be ok that it really makes me depressed. When my Dad was diagnosed our worlds colapsed. You ask yourself why, especially because he's been thru so much already in the past (cat with nine lives as I like to say). And then I met all of you here and I realized how wonderful people you all are with your own lives, families, happiness, joy and sorrow, problems. And then I wish also for all of you to win this cancer and I "jump around" when I read somebody is NED.
So I also feel you Katie, especially with this dx of yours ... You're always so compassionate, helpful and warm to others. And it is completely normal that you just can't always be cheerful and happy and that you're worn out. I think that when those days come when we feel really down and depressed we actually "reset" ourselves and after that we feel a lot better. We all need those days to just be ourselves, to show all our sorrow and worries. To show that we can't be strong all the time.
And what is most important: If we do everything we can and there's really not much we can impact on, then just leave it to destiny. It will be as it is suppose to be.
Few months ago we had a big baloon accident in our country. 30 people on board. Baloon fell down and among them 4 people died (3 of them were a family!) when in the mean time few people got out without a scratch!! All in the same baloon with completely different destiny. So just keep in mind that we can't have everything under control - sometimes we just have to BE and go with the flow! It will be ok in the end!
You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Normal From this View
Definately OK to be pissed off. In fact, I think you're better off if you're pissed from time to time. I think PO'd is one of the ingredients in a can of WhupAss. Luckily for me, I can only imagine how it'd feel to see "mets" multiple times on a report - hate that you don't have to imagine.

Hope you enjoyed your Turkey Day.

katenorwood said:

I'm back !
Thank you ladies and gents !
I ramble on....yeah still po'd, but after being with my grandchildren I feel refreshed and ready to kick butt ! We listened to the victrola...and I laughed so hard when the younger children looked and looked for the plug in. I taught them each how to use the crank...and showed them how to put the needle down on the records. I have tons of Christmas albums from the dirty 30's...and even the 14 month old was dancing and singing ! I had the past, present and future with me all in the same room. I got teary eyed, and raised my voice in joy of the here and now. You all have lifted me up, and I felt your strenghth. Thank you ! Katie

That sounds
so wonderful, I love kids way more than adults..my Grandbabies can cheer me up , make me laugh, and p me off....praying for you, and love your spirit..it's ok to me angry, just don't let it spoil what is!!