My wife was recently diagnosed with Stage 2a BC

mollyz said:

Hang in there!!
Welcome to the boards,im a 2yr. survivor.my husband went thru the same thing but i think he chose to reach out to some other female im not totally sure just all the evidence,2 cell phones and a condom,i found all of this in the last year and I hope and pray you love your wife not to hurt her in any kind of way.I know your scared now but when it's all over and you and her look back you'll be able to help someone else going thru.My dr. told me that the husband goes thru harder than the wife,it's a lot of good advice on here and it's some that will scare the "H" out of you,everyone is different.we send cyber hugs to each other,so im sending a big hug to you and your wife.do you have kids?~~MollyZ~~

Rague said:

Cold too!
I am always coldeer than most - always have been - but it got much worse while on chemo. My temperature dropped and on good days it would be close to 97 but on bad days would be 95.something. Wearing 'thermies' (long underwear) helped a lot but the ones that are usually the warmest for me - the waffle weave one - were uncomfortable as I could feel every 'waffle' so had to use the smooth ones.

Something else that was helpful was an electric 'fleece throw' for using on the couch watching TV. Hubby found it at WalMart for I think about $20. Basically looks just like a fleece throw except that it has a cord coming out of it with a thermostat on it. Quite light weight so easy to handle. Something else that I found years ago that I like better for keeping wrm in bed is a heated matress cover. They have 3 different areas with the part up high the least warm but the foot area is the warmest, great for cold feet. The one we have has 2 different controls so I can have it nice and hot but Hubby can keep his side off or very low. I have noticed though that the older he gets the warmer he makes his side though he won't admit it. I also found that wool or wool blend socks were much nicer for keeping 'toes-ies' warm.

In another post I read you were asking about an occasional drink. I was told that an occasional drink or 2 was fine. So I continue to have a Midori and soda on the rocks when we go up to Deadwood for prime rib and a bit of play with the ' penny one armed bandits' there but that's only every 3 - 6 months.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

CypressCynthia said:

Never lose hope! I think
Never lose hope! I think that you might be able to help her most by becoming her biggest cheerleader.

I was diagnosed with Stage 3A (very large tumor and 4 nodes) way back in 1987. Can you believe it? I had a mastectomy, chemo, radiation and hormone therapy. Then I had a 22 year remission. In 2009, I found out I had bone mets, but I am currently back in remission. There are more and more stories of survivors living a long time. In fact, some of us consider ourselves "thrivers" and not survivors.

My advice is to encourage your wife to be as compliant as possible. Some studies are showing compliance is less than 20%. It is so hard to be compliant, but so important. Also, she should really consider avoiding alcohol altogether because, when you drink, your estrogen level goes up and your survival rate goes down.

The initial chemo is so hard, but it goes by and, hopefully, becomes a distant bad memory. Also, your local ACS chapter may be able to supply free or affordable hats and/or wigs and they will also give your wife a makeover with free makeup if she wants one. "Look Good...Feel Better" is the name of the program. See:

Find Support Programs and Services in Your Area

http://www.cancer.org/treatment/supportprogramsservices/index?ssSourceSiteId=null

P.S. Tell your wife not to give up because of her family history. I have a terrible family history: two sisters, my dad, my uncle, my grandmother and her 4 sisters. All had colon and/or breast cancer. Although the older generation died quickly after diagnosis, my sisters and I (all with breast cancer) have all survived for >15 years.

mollyz said:

@Dennis
after 2 years i still don't understand my pathology report the radiologist said stage 2 and the surgeon said stage3A because lymph nodes where involved(out of 16 8 where positive) but the radiologist knew that too! i know it was estrogen positive 95% Her2 neg. I had chemo for 6 months the first 4 where very aggressive and we call the chemo here on the boards "a cocktail" anyway my cocktail was FEC(5-FU,Epirubicin,Cytoxan. one of them is known as the "red devil" and i understood afterwards why they call it that it attacks like the devil,this was done every three weeks and after that i had 6 weeks of taxotere and i could deal with it and after all the chemo i had 33 treatments of radiation.I don't know how you found the boards but it was the only thing kept me sane going thru this ordeal. I wish you and your wife blessings because God is the only one knows our out come.I don't know if you beleive in God or not but prayer is what i stood on and a lot on here don't like it when people talk about God because they think your putting your beliefs on someone else but God is the only one that woke them up this morning.sending prayers and hugs to you and your wife did i miss somewhere your wife's name? if not what is her name because when i pray to God i call out the persons name.~~MollyZ~~

Margeaux said:

My wife has
Hi:
The place I got my chic head covers from is - topsyturban.com. Worn with huge earrings I looked downright fashionable until chemo caught up with me. I did ok the first 4 weeks of Taxol, but after that it started going downhill. The ACS literature the doctor gave me also contained a booklet on diet, what to eat and what to abstain from,incl. alcohol. Onc told me - yoghurt yes, milk no. No soft cheeses, no nibbling on tempting tidbits in the grocery store. Gingerale for possible nausea. I felt queasy, but never outright nauseous. A liquid form of Benadryl was infused prior to chemo and during A/C/F chemo additional medications were prescribed to prevent any nausea. I actually gained 10 lbs. during chemo. Husband got me green tea, I started the morning out with a cup and crackers. Got protein/vitamin powder from the health food store, mixed it with yoghurt and honey to make a smoothy. Remember, not to get anything with antioxidants, which will interfere with the effects of chemo. Lots of food stuffs didn't "smell" right, did not like any sweets, but was always hungry! Another thing I did was to line up cleaners recommended to me by my neighbor, husband was 83 at the time of diagnosis and I could not expect him to clean house on top of everything else. He accompanied me to every dr. visit and chemo, dr. did not want me to drive. Lots of patients had volunteers, relatives, friends, etc. take turns. I live in a warm part of the US, but still was always cold, especially my bald head. Remember - real men cry!
Sending lots of warmth and love your and your wife's way.
Margeaux

LoveBabyJesus said:

I was stage 2a
Hi sweet husband -- I am very, very sorry that you and your wife have to faced with this. No one deserves it, but please know we are here for support and tips. You and your wife are not alone.

I was dx at 32 (last year) with IDC, grade 3, one tumor ~2.5cm and lymphvascular invasion. Although my nodes came back clean, I had to have the chemo because of my age and how aggressive my cells were (there are 4 grade levels, 4 being the most aggressive kind). I took AC/T, biweekly. Many people do better on taxol than they do on AC. I personally didn't enjoy AC at all, and the side effects became cumulative. But everyone is different. Some people do better and some people have no side effects (just wish there were more of these people). The neulesta shot was actually the worst for me - felt really sick for a few days after day 2. But it eventually felt better. This shot is VERY important to keep her blood counts up and on schedule for treatments. The pain won't last for too long.

Some people have chemo first due to the size of the tumor and the breast. I got surgery first because my tumor wasn't that big and I am a big size. But just to give you an idea, recently I read an article in the magazine "Cure" where Doctors argue that it would be best to have chemo first, then surgery, under any circumstances (whether tumor is small or not) so that Doctors can see if chemo works at all. So this might actually be beneficial to your wife, besides decreasing the tumor for a less invasive surgery. I recomend you and your wife get this magazine. It is FREE for cancer patients and very informative. You have 4 copies a year (I believe). Here's the link: http://www.curetoday.com/

Additionally, here are some tips during chemo:

I purchased this book for special diet: http://www.amazon.com/Cancer-Fighting-Kitchen-Nourishing-Big-Flavor-Treatment/dp/1587613441 please note some foods are NOT recommended to eat during treatment, or post diagnoses. This book addresses some of these issues.

This book for nutritious drinks: http://www.amazon.com/Big-Book-Juices-Natural-Vitality/dp/1844839737/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352590603&sr=1-1&keywords=the+big+book+of+juices

Additional Tips:

DRINK WATER ALL DAY LONG
Eat small portion of foods, more frequently
Exercise (even if it's just power-walking)
REST (listen to your body)
Stool softeners handy (this was my most chronic side effect) - if she starts to get constipated, have her take one pill 3x a day, starting 3 days prior to treatment (please consult Dr.)

And lastly, you and your sweet wife will be OK. Please try and have faith: no matter what you see. And no matter what you hear. Your wife is NOT her mom. And times are different now with treatments. I am very sorry she lost her mom to this illness. I lost mine too (ovarian cancer) and I understand her fear. BUT, please tell her she is not her mama. She can beat this and still thrive. Only look forward. There is light at the end of tunnel for your wife. Prayers will follow.

HEY, just realized! Two chemo treatments down! But who's counting.

P.S. There are many organizations, like this one (ACS) that give hats, wigs, and other useful items during chemo at no cost to the patient. And in the meantime, she can meet other survivors too. Please tell her to join this forum!