new job

hope4thebest
hope4thebest Member Posts: 108
in Breast Cancer #1
I started a parttime job 3 months ago. I am still undergoing reconstruction surgery, so am weak and not mentally or physically strong. I sell artwork and like my job, but am not as sharp as I should be to make the money I should be making in commissions. At this point, I understand that money is not the most important factor, but I feel bad about my performance. I have spoken with the owner and she knows that I am still in recovery. The other employees are quite competitive and I have started to push myself and am getting stressed trying to keep up with them.
However, I do love my job, mostly because it is a great escape.
I was put on this earth to teach, but am just not strong enough to do that right now. I have another surgery next month.
It seems that everything is making me nervous, even the smallest things. Last week, I caught a chest cold and really was scared that it was cancer induced. It is nice to live after cancer, but will I ever be able to be calm again?

Comments

  • heart-in-hand
    heart-in-hand Member Posts: 92
    #2
    I understand your frustrations.
    Commission paying jobs were the hardest ones I have ever had. Co-workers can be brutal in that environment can't they? It sounds like a wonderful job otherwise, so I am happy for you in that aspect. But my heart breaks for you because of the money issue. And the more stressed you are the greater the chance of not making the sale because of the vibes...a vicious circle.

    This is the worst thing you have had to face in your life, and its understandable that you are not at your best, but you will be! You will be! And when you are not sick, and fatigued and healthy again with beautiful reconstuction you will have that confidence again I am sure. Hang in there- it is almost over!

    Focus on the joy of the artwork, ok?
    Kay
  • Gabe N Abby Mom
    Gabe N Abby Mom Member Posts: 2,413
    #3
    I think that as long as your
    I think that as long as your supervisor is ok with it, and you can handle it financially, try to just stay out of the competitiveness as much as possible. You don't need the additional stress that brings, and yes I'm familiar with that competitive sales environment.
    BTW, it always seemed to me that teaching/educating a potential customer was the best way to make sales.

    You said "everything is making me nervous"...have you considered medication? Many of us here take something to help with nerves and/or depression. Please talk to your onc and let him know how you are feeling. That may be the best way to get some calm and peace again.

    I hope this helps. Please come back and let us know how you're doing.

    Hugs,

    Linda

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