result of scans

janderson1964 said:

I replied to your other post
I replied to your other post abou what great news that is. Your are not bragging. Only giving hope as you said not just to the newly diagnosed but to us veterans as well. Our cases are similar. I am coming up on 7 years since being diagnosed stage IV and have had 3 liver resections

Sundanceh said:

"Show Off:)"
LOL, Maggie:)

There is always that feeling of guilt when you're doing well and another person is not...

Your story shows something to the NEW and the OLD alike (like me)...

For example, when I look at you, I see someone who was dx'd in the same year that I was...someone who has had recurrence like me...and a recurrence again like me.

Having just gone over 15-months clear myself (never happened in my 8-yr fight), I find myself in my own personally uncharted territory.

And then I see you chugging along 4-years clear...

And for a moment, I dare ask myself..."Will I have the same success as Mags has had?"

At 15-months clear in an 8-year battle, I'm still in my infancy stage of being clear and more time has to roll off the clock for me to even consider that I might go as long as you have.

But your story to me, sets the bar high and gives me something to aim for - something to physically see and go for..."hoping" (there's that word) that I've got the chance to "just maybe."

I've been snake bit 3x with this stuff, so I'm a little jaded about what I still think my future holds. But the truth about that, is that I'm just using my own insecurity to shield me against the thoughts and feelings that I have from the inevitable thoughts that cancer will someday find me again...

It's so hard to break the ties that bind...

But, maybe I will be one of those that walks away...next scan would make 21-mos...the one after 27-mos...I might dare to dream then...

But, that's scary for me, because I don't want to fall again, Maggie May.

I was thinking about that this morning when I was showering for work....how hard it is everyday for me still to conform to society and meet all their deadlines and committments...when it's so hard to move and get ready and work like a machine.

And I thought of myself for some reason back in last year's fight...never being up at 6am in the morning...and just sick and bedridden all day long.

I tell you, Maggie...I just can't do this anymore if it comes back...I just hope it's over for me now, like I feel it is over and behind you now...at least it's getting smaller in your rear view mirror.

So, you're not showing off with your good news...I actually liked hearing that this morning...and because of you, I wrote another long winded post...

Our consciences play a mean game of ping-pong when we are deciding to post a good story amidst so much sadness...

But, that is the sole nature of this board...so hearing good stories always water the roots of the foundation that this cancer house is moored to.

Thanks for Hope today...I just talk about it, but you're actually doing it.

Love/Craig