I feel like a burden, want to move far away

Rague said:

Tough Love?
Perhaps your Mom (and others) has realized that it's time for some 'tough love'? Yes - it can be called for at times with health/medical 'problems'.

Give your Mom credit for having been through Hades. I have never had to deal with my Son dealing with cancer but I did almost loose Son during the 1991 Measles Epidemic in SW FL while their Dad was deployed to Desert Storm so I do know something of what it is do deal with seeing your child fight medical issues - I'd take anything rather than see my child hurt in anyway IF I could. But it does take a toll on you and there can be times to tell the child to "Buck Up and MOVE On".

We all see 'life' differently. I see life to be lived to the most that I can - every day is precious. And that the road bumps only make us stronger. Yes I do know what it is to have a BC DX - I'm IBC, 3 yrs post DX and still NED, 4 A/C, mast., 12 Taxol, 25 rads with BAD burns, LE, and now Thyroid and hypoglycemia issues, had cataracts and osteopososis. None of that stops me from doing anything I want to do Y operative words -WANT To Do.

Family - my family consists of Hubby of 37 yrs and Son. Hubby was only child and both parents gone before I met him, my last parent gone for 25+ yrs. They were both fantastic with taking over - Son took over horse care so I only had to do what I wanted to with them, Hubby took over house and cooking . There were times that when they realized I was trying to sink into a pit and would make me do some things and other times they knew I was trying to do too much and stopped me. Did I ever get aggrivated with them - you betcha - but they were right. Son has moved away and has found a fantastic Lady - Hubby well he still pushes me when I need it and protects me when I need it. Do he 'behave' as some would say is the way to - NO! But he is my protector/strenght to the best he can be but also lets/makes me be ME!


I hope I have not offended or hurt but I firmly believe that there is no 'One Size Fits All' and that 'We are each unique'. All of our life experiences make us who/what we are. IBC does not define who I am - it is something I deal/dealt with.

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

Puttin on the big girl panties
Susan, I loved your post. When I was diagnosed I had about a 45 minute pitty party and then straightened up and said, "Ok, now what...let's fight this ****!" I went into business mode...doing the absolute BEST I could when I could do it and recognizing when I needed to call everything off and hit the couch, sometimes for days into weeks... AND not being afraid to ask for help and assistance medically. I was already on an antidepressant when it started and my Onc immediately increased the dosage when I said I felt down in the dumps. You can't feel down in the dumps and go through this. You HAVE to be strong or the other side wins. Depression is the LAST thing you need to be dealing with...there is so much other stuff coming at you! My hubby learned through the process and became a good care giver like yours...knowing when to hold em and when to fold em, as it were. I am now 5 months post-chemo and just now feeling "human", but it gets better every day. My WILL got me through this and my anger that I would NOT be trumped in this situation, and I feel good about myself. I amwoman, hear me roar!

Rague said:

Hint for your appt. -
Take a note pad along with questions on it. Then either take notes of what your Dcr says or IF you have one take a tape recorder to take down his/her replies. (Your smart phone may have this option on it.) This allows you to go back later and rehear exactly what was said.

Good Luck!

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

can't stress that enough
I took a recorder and taped my first two appointments. There was just too much info being thrown at me. I listened several times after that day and it really helped unravel the string of info I'd been given. Any time you have an important appointment I wouuld take a recorder (I used my cell phone).

Rague said:

Hint for your appt. -
Take a note pad along with questions on it. Then either take notes of what your Dcr says or IF you have one take a tape recorder to take down his/her replies. (Your smart phone may have this option on it.) This allows you to go back later and rehear exactly what was said.

Good Luck!

Winyan - The Power Within

Susan

can't stress that enough
I took a recorder and taped my first two appointments. There was just too much info being thrown at me. I listened several times after that day and it really helped unravel the string of info I'd been given. Any time you have an important appointment I would take a recorder (I used my cell phone).