scanxiety.....never ceases to amaze me *UPDATE*

We're both in the stew pot...
Should make for some pretty rich stew. I'm busy obsessing over my surgery tomorrow, and tho assured that the likelihood is that both lumps are benign, I won't be happy until I get my path.

I'm also dreading the Frankensteinien aspect (placing of 2 wires in my breast to mark the lumps - the wires are placed during compression of a mammo, and the ends hang out. Yuck! Bothers me more than the surgery.)

I'll hold your hand if you'll hold mine!

Hugs,
Alice

Grace14 said:

I hate the fear of scans and
I hate the fear of scans and tests! I have to have blood work next week and yearly scans in January and already the anxiety is setting in! I hate the unknown of this disease its so frustrating, and nobody understands this fear unless your a cancer patient. I always get oh don't worry everything will be fine! Really I hope so it's so easy for them! This is so mean to say but I wish they could walk in our shoes for one day so they could see that fear that I feel! I wake up in the morning thinking about cancer and go to bed thinking about it. Yes sometimes I can forget it about for a while but for the most part it never leaves my mind! I wish we had a switch in our brain that we could just turn off and then turn back on when it was time for scans. I so know how you feel! Good Luck with your scans! Sorry i needed to vent a little!

dont think
we ever get over that fear but just want to wish you luck and sending prayers and good vibes your way(((HUGS))) Godbless...johnnybegood

Yours is one of the stories
Yours is one of the stories that has brought me hope for my husband in the last several weeks. Sending positive thoughts and many prayers for great results. Hang in there!

Dear Mags
I am not sure it is possible to get over any of the fears that come from having had a cancer diagnosis. I think the best that we ever do, from then on out, is to try to manage that fear.

Whether it is scanxiety, waiting on blood work or just feeling what others might call the normal aches and pains of living, all those naturally wear on our minds.

The best we can do is say..."ok, cancer, you might make me fearful today, but not tomorrow!".

Praying that your fears turn out to be unfounded and that all results are good news.

Hugs,

Marie who loves kitties

janderson1964 said:

I know what you mean. I just
I know what you mean. I just got the date for my next scan which is almost 3 months from now but just getting the actual date set gave me an uneasy feeling. That is why i said in another post that we will never be fully cured. Some of us might be cured in the physical sensa but never the mental and emotional sense.

Oh what I would do to not
Oh what I would do to not have had this cancer! The sad part is that in the beginning I changed me eating habits swore that I would not put one more bad thing in my mouth and here I am more than 2 years later eating sweets not eating enough vegetables. What is wrong with me? I feel like I was given a second chance having been diagnosed at a stage 2. I just feel like life is so short and I see so many people that are healthy and still get cancer. I just wish that I would take better care of myself. Every time I get the all clear I swear I'm gonna eat better, exercise and it just never happens. I'm just in this funk right now and I really have to snap out of this! Does anybody else feel the same way?

Fear
I think that fear is probably a specter that walks beside each of us every moment of every day. But, it is something that we can defeat by first acknowledging its presence and then dismissing it like sending an unruly child into time out. In Frank Herbert's sci-fi classic "Dune" there is a litany against fear and I think of it frequently. "I must not fear. Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it is gone I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

It's natural to dread scans and that horrible waiting period before we get the results. What I try to do (emphasis on try!) is let fear have it's hold for a few seconds and then push it away and tell myself "I can handle this, no matter what happens." Sometimes it even works.

Mags and Alice, good luck and you have the prayers of myself and many with you. God Bless.

anxiety
Being an optimist I never have any worry about tests. I just assume all will be well- and it usually is. So cool it, enjoy life!!!

Grace14 said:

Oh what I would do to not
Oh what I would do to not have had this cancer! The sad part is that in the beginning I changed me eating habits swore that I would not put one more bad thing in my mouth and here I am more than 2 years later eating sweets not eating enough vegetables. What is wrong with me? I feel like I was given a second chance having been diagnosed at a stage 2. I just feel like life is so short and I see so many people that are healthy and still get cancer. I just wish that I would take better care of myself. Every time I get the all clear I swear I'm gonna eat better, exercise and it just never happens. I'm just in this funk right now and I really have to snap out of this! Does anybody else feel the same way?

Grace
I know what you mean. Cancer is on my mind every second of the day. I was diagnosed 4/11/12 and that's all I have thought of. Stage IV rectal cancer with mets to liver. Had surgery to remove rectal tumor and single liver met. Ned sept scan, but I feel like I need to be scanned every week to keep an eye on everything. Next scan in December and I am already worried. My family that sees me occasionally sees me not sick and no one really understands unless they live it. I feel like I have a death sentence that is torturing me slowly.
Sandy

maglets said:

oh dear friends
yes alice we have both cooked up a nice big stew. I have had the wires Alice and it is a bit creepy but not too bad....really it isn't.....HERE hold my hand

Grace 14 you just vent away there girl....no probs....I can't really tell how far ahead I start clickin into the fear place....one month? one week? in it now for sure.....

does anyone else start to feel lumps and pains the second scanxiety hits??? for instance I feel my liver weighs about 80 pounds this afternoon, definitely short of breath....here comes lung cancer....oh sore in armpit.....that's invovlment for sure!!! craziness!!!!!!!

Johnny hearing from you soothes my soul....thanks for your note and prayers and vibes

it's a long old dirty old path no matter how you look at it....

mags

Big hug
From Ron who can never quite decide if the glass is half full or half empty,Good luck Mate...Ron.