Help me.. Am I going crazy????

arndog64
arndog64 Member Posts: 537
in Head and Neck Cancer #1
I am a caregiver for my husband and he is a little over a year out. He still has a horrible sore throat, I was concerned and pushed up his appointment. Scope all clear.
The other day he had severe leg pain, and he makes an appointment with his Rheumatologist, she thinks it's a blood clot and send him for an ultrasound. Came back all clear. Still in alot of pain sent him to his GP, I wanted an exray. Comes back all clear. The doc thinks it's the nearopathy and said to double up on meds and follow in 2-3 weeks with neurologist.
Now, Saturday we are out to breakfast and I look at his arm and I notice brown splotches all over his forearms. I asked him when did this happen. He said about 3 weeks ago. It has bothered me since that day. He has, like 15-20 splotches on each arm. I think to myself that is not normal.. What I am getting at, I am stressing over every little thing and in the back of my mind I always think this could be cancer coming back. I need to stop this madness...Does anyone else do this????

Sincerely,
The Crazy Lady

Comments

  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #2
    Crazy Lady
    amazingly you have checked all concerns with medical people and all is clean, that is wonderful news.

    i would ask, will you keep looking, worrying, dwelling on everything until you find what you think it should be going on. if you do it may be a long time. as for me it has been 14,856 days or 891,360 min. or 53,481,600 sec. since i was told.

    point being do you really want to spend the above mentioned time looking, worrying, dwelling and maybe it only shows it ugly head one minor time in that time table and it was 13 years post treatment.

    i know i didn't and hope at some point you can stop and move on

    john

    and oh ya, i hope to double and triple the duration mentioned above

    ptl my new normal time with some pains all the time post treatment is so very special, every day is wonderful with every day a different degree of wonderful
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #3
    fisrpotpe said:

    Crazy Lady
    amazingly you have checked all concerns with medical people and all is clean, that is wonderful news.

    i would ask, will you keep looking, worrying, dwelling on everything until you find what you think it should be going on. if you do it may be a long time. as for me it has been 14,856 days or 891,360 min. or 53,481,600 sec. since i was told.

    point being do you really want to spend the above mentioned time looking, worrying, dwelling and maybe it only shows it ugly head one minor time in that time table and it was 13 years post treatment.

    i know i didn't and hope at some point you can stop and move on

    john

    and oh ya, i hope to double and triple the duration mentioned above

    ptl my new normal time with some pains all the time post treatment is so very special, every day is wonderful with every day a different degree of wonderful

    With my post, I have
    With my post, I have completed step one. I have a problem, that was easy. Time for step 2 what am I going to do about it. For starters. I am going to back off, my husband know his body better than anybody and if he feels the need to see a doc, he will make the appointment or ask me to make it. Then I will worry... LMAO!!!!
  • katenorwood
    katenorwood Member Posts: 1,912
    #4
    Not at all !
    Hey there !
    It sounds as if you are on top of being an excellant caregiver. But...saying this, try to look at the positives. Neuropathy can be caused by an awful lot of things...and is very treatable. It sounds like you're hooked up with a great team of doctors. Nerve pain stinks plain and simple...I live with it daily in my jaw and neck. Some days are better than others and like John I rejoice in this. Pain means things are trying to work again...my nerve paths were damaged during surgery. Never ever think the worst case scenerio, and enjoy life. I am learning that the new me is different but wonderful also ! Katie
  • Greend
    Greend Member Posts: 678
    #5
    arndog64 said:

    With my post, I have
    With my post, I have completed step one. I have a problem, that was easy. Time for step 2 what am I going to do about it. For starters. I am going to back off, my husband know his body better than anybody and if he feels the need to see a doc, he will make the appointment or ask me to make it. Then I will worry... LMAO!!!!

    Denise are you in there
    I thhink my wife is a bigamist because this sounds just like her... and I love her for it however I agree tat he knows his body best and if/when he asks for help then that is the time to worry.

    Thanks for being such a great care giver.

    Denny
  • blackswampboy
    blackswampboy Member Posts: 341
    #6
    caregivers month
    Hi CL,

    Since november is NFC month, it's a good time to do something for yourself! my cancer center offers free support services for caregivers...you might check with yours, see if they're giving out massages to stressed caregivers.

    -----

    National Family Caregiver Month

    National Family Caregivers Month (NFC Month) - observed every November - is a nationally recognized month seeking to draw attention to the many challenges facing family caregivers, advocate for stronger public policy to address family caregiving issues, and raise awareness about community programs that support family caregivers.

    NFC Month is a time to thank, support, educate, and celebrate more than 50 million family caregivers across the country.

    The theme for NFC Month is for family caregivers to...

    BELIEVE in yourself... PROTECT your health... REACH OUT for help

    This November there is a special emphasis on the need for all of us to help family caregivers protect their health in order to have a more satisfying life and be better able to provide their loved one with the best care possible.

    To learn more about NFC Month visit the National Family Caregivers Association Web site (www.thefamilycaregiver.org).
  • denistd
    denistd Member Posts: 597
    #7
    blackswampboy said:

    caregivers month
    Hi CL,

    Since november is NFC month, it's a good time to do something for yourself! my cancer center offers free support services for caregivers...you might check with yours, see if they're giving out massages to stressed caregivers.

    -----

    National Family Caregiver Month

    National Family Caregivers Month (NFC Month) - observed every November - is a nationally recognized month seeking to draw attention to the many challenges facing family caregivers, advocate for stronger public policy to address family caregiving issues, and raise awareness about community programs that support family caregivers.

    NFC Month is a time to thank, support, educate, and celebrate more than 50 million family caregivers across the country.

    The theme for NFC Month is for family caregivers to...

    BELIEVE in yourself... PROTECT your health... REACH OUT for help

    This November there is a special emphasis on the need for all of us to help family caregivers protect their health in order to have a more satisfying life and be better able to provide their loved one with the best care possible.

    To learn more about NFC Month visit the National Family Caregivers Association Web site (www.thefamilycaregiver.org).

    bruises
    As we age some of us become very prone to bruising on our forearms, I get it all of the time, don't even know that it happened, sometimes i get them just rubbing the soap on my arms in the shower. Do the marks gradually go, the small veins in the skin simply break and blood diffuses out under the layer of skin.
  • Noellesmom
    Noellesmom Member Posts: 1,859 Member
    #8
    denistd said:

    bruises
    As we age some of us become very prone to bruising on our forearms, I get it all of the time, don't even know that it happened, sometimes i get them just rubbing the soap on my arms in the shower. Do the marks gradually go, the small veins in the skin simply break and blood diffuses out under the layer of skin.

    bruises - agree
    Jim was treated with Cisplatin and is also on an aspirin regimine: he consistently has splotchy brownish red areas which bleed very easily.

    I don't think it is wrong to check out every little thing that is going on - who wants to miss something important?

    However: Greg needs to be checking on this himself. He will feel more in control if he makes the calls and gets the answers.
  • fisrpotpe
    fisrpotpe Member Posts: 1,349 Member
    #9
    denistd said:

    bruises
    As we age some of us become very prone to bruising on our forearms, I get it all of the time, don't even know that it happened, sometimes i get them just rubbing the soap on my arms in the shower. Do the marks gradually go, the small veins in the skin simply break and blood diffuses out under the layer of skin.

    ditto
    i too had bruises for 5-6 years until 18 months ago when the doc put me on Vit. D3, because i was forcing myself to stay out of the sun. 6 months later the bruising stopped.

    john
  • Tim6003
    Tim6003 Member Posts: 1,514 Member
    #10
    fisrpotpe said:

    ditto
    i too had bruises for 5-6 years until 18 months ago when the doc put me on Vit. D3, because i was forcing myself to stay out of the sun. 6 months later the bruising stopped.

    john

    Hi crazy lady (lol)
    I will just say this .....with what we put you caregivers thru...don't dare ever feel like you are "crazy" ... :) My poor wife has been through the ringer starting with my dx back in Ocotber 2011 ....and if I have read your posts correctly over the months it sounds like your husband has had a few issues more than the average....so don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like an excellent caregiver and you stand ready to make sure your husband gets the best treatment ....there is no better love than what you are shwoing...with that said, being a year out and getting the all clears you have gotten...just seek some support group that can help you relax a bit better .....

    I was having a tough time after treatments and I felt like I had a good faith foundation!!!...so I was surprised to see myself having a hard time like that ....but it's as if over the months that went by the good Lord was telling me "you have to dig even deeper now" ....I truly appreciated and still do the longterm survivors on this board...they were a HUGE help to me in those months ...I think I am doing so much better now...I've dug deeper...but I am still vigilant .....I guess I am like any father / husband ...I feel I owe it to my wife and very young children to be vigilant ..

    I think you are a wonderful caregiver and your husband is very blessed to have you on his team! :)

    Best,

    Tim
  • arndog64
    arndog64 Member Posts: 537
    #11
    Tim6003 said:

    Hi crazy lady (lol)
    I will just say this .....with what we put you caregivers thru...don't dare ever feel like you are "crazy" ... :) My poor wife has been through the ringer starting with my dx back in Ocotber 2011 ....and if I have read your posts correctly over the months it sounds like your husband has had a few issues more than the average....so don't be so hard on yourself. You sound like an excellent caregiver and you stand ready to make sure your husband gets the best treatment ....there is no better love than what you are shwoing...with that said, being a year out and getting the all clears you have gotten...just seek some support group that can help you relax a bit better .....

    I was having a tough time after treatments and I felt like I had a good faith foundation!!!...so I was surprised to see myself having a hard time like that ....but it's as if over the months that went by the good Lord was telling me "you have to dig even deeper now" ....I truly appreciated and still do the longterm survivors on this board...they were a HUGE help to me in those months ...I think I am doing so much better now...I've dug deeper...but I am still vigilant .....I guess I am like any father / husband ...I feel I owe it to my wife and very young children to be vigilant ..

    I think you are a wonderful caregiver and your husband is very blessed to have you on his team! :)

    Best,

    Tim

    Thanks everyome for the
    Thanks everyome for the feedback.. My husband has been through so much and is still suffering from side effects.. Like nausea, throat pain, fatigue, weak muscles, neuropathy, memory.. He is one strong man and he has got this.. I am just a worry wart...
  • luvofmylif
    luvofmylif Member Posts: 344
    #12
    arndog64 said:

    Thanks everyome for the
    Thanks everyome for the feedback.. My husband has been through so much and is still suffering from side effects.. Like nausea, throat pain, fatigue, weak muscles, neuropathy, memory.. He is one strong man and he has got this.. I am just a worry wart...

    You are fine...I do the same
    You are fine...I do the same thing. I want to protect and care for my husband to the best of my ability. It's normal. We just have to find the right balance. I hate watching my husband suffer
  • KareGiver
    KareGiver Member Posts: 301 Member
    #13
    luvofmylif said:

    You are fine...I do the same
    You are fine...I do the same thing. I want to protect and care for my husband to the best of my ability. It's normal. We just have to find the right balance. I hate watching my husband suffer

    It's very difficult
    because we do watch for every little thing. I certainly understand how you feel!
  • Pam M
    Pam M Member Posts: 2,196
    #14
    arndog64 said:

    Thanks everyome for the
    Thanks everyome for the feedback.. My husband has been through so much and is still suffering from side effects.. Like nausea, throat pain, fatigue, weak muscles, neuropathy, memory.. He is one strong man and he has got this.. I am just a worry wart...

    In Your Shoes
    I'd worry, too - even if I knew I shouldn't. Here's hoping for less and less to worry about as the days go by.

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