New to the group - Dad diagnosed with EC

Reading through the discussions, made me realize I might need "help" in the ensuing months. My beloved father, a retired Naval Captain, age 85, suddenly fell in June. The following week, EC was diagnosed, and since then, it has been a nightmare, pure and simple. My dad has had a very healthy life, cheated death during the Korean War, and been an inspiration his entire life. So, this has been a shock to our family, with no experience of cancer. My mother, with mild dementia and a history of mental illness (manic/depressive) has blown our world into flying bits of insanity. She is healthy, in body, but home alone, far from family and refuses to enter an assisted living facility or move in with one of her children. My Dad, oh dear, what a disaster!! Since June, his tumor has shrunk, some, BUT he has battled the following, both in the hospital and rehab: UTI infections, pneumonia (3 times), Merca, ongoing C-Diff, gout (something he has fought for years), irregular heart episodes, stomach tubing, plus a myriad of lesser issues. He can't seem to get ahead. Nor has he given up. After 4 months of this, his team approached him with the idea of hospice, and he has refused. He is crusty, to say the least. Oh yes, need I tell about his horrendous care at Portsmouth Hospital, New Hampshire????? All I can say, is don't get old in this society, as it has little concern about the eldery. And Medicare? What it doesn't cover?? WOW! My folks are now concerned about money, and they have been financially comfortable for years now.
I myself, have been through hell, with my husband, who dropped dead, with sudden cardiac arrest, at age 55. My life has been one upward, lonely battle since then. Now, to watch my Dad suffer. One can see why people have religion, as life sure can throw some tough curves at you, time and again.
Anyway, he is stage 3. Is this typical for stage 3? Will his life basically be one of fighting battle after battle, often not directly related to his cancer? And going in and out of the hospital, back to rehab, back to hospital? We feel like our lives are a merry-go-round, and we can't even predict what will happen tomorrow???? I run a small horse farm, in northern Maine, and trying to leave it to visit Dad, or to operate things in Maine, has been a tremendous challenge in itself.
Anyway, thanks for listening. Just to be able to talk to people who have experienced some of this will help.
Amy