7th chemo tomorrow, and you know how I am...

You are having an...
entirely understandable bad day. But you're still fighting! Yeah, it's like you're shooting BBs and the cancer has the 50 cal (that's one big azzed machine gun)...but that's just for today. Tomorrow, you'll have your shotgun and just blow that crap away (see the visuals? if you're a gun person, you're sayin' 'darn straight', if you're not, you're just laughing. either way, you're fighting.

Keep fighting. It's ok to get despondent, it's part of the game. I do have a rather well-used pitty pot that I can send you...but just for a bit. I need it too!

And if all else fails, just get some sleep. And dream wonderful dreams. Sometimes I take ambien, and I have the best, funniest dreams

Keep on truckin', sistah!

Every right
Hey, you have every right to be as irritable as you want. You may not believe this right now but the strength of spirit in your post proves you do have the strength to cope with this.

Sending you hope that tomorrow will be a better day.

Love and hugs
xxx

AngieD said:

Becky, you CAN do these last
Becky, you CAN do these last 2 rounds--you've come so far!! Please, just do it--with a little help. Chemo does get progressively worse, but you don't want to get down the road and regret not finishing. Please take all the drugs prescribed for you to your pharmacist and have them tell you how to use which ones for the specific symptoms you're having. Talk to your oncologist about what would help. For my last 2 Taxol treatments I got IV fluids and extra dexamethasone and that really helped. Arrange for a little leave of absence from work. Get an order for that from your doc. Please do whatever it takes to get you through this. You will feel so good and proud of yourself when you make it through.
Love,
Angie

Sweetheart--you'd better believe you're a fighter
You're almost there--the light is definitely visible at the end of the tunnel. You're doing it--right now--you're doing it and soon it will be done. Here is a quote that I loved that helped get me through:

"Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day that says, "I will try again tomorrow."

Keep on keeping on.

I'm sending all the positive vibes and prayers I can to help you.

Hugs, Renee

Please don't give up!
I think I know how you feel because I decided I couldn't handle the side effects after just two chemo infusions so I canceled my third infusion last Thursday. Now I feel like such a failure because, being stage IV, I really can't afford to quit. I will be seeing my onc this afternoon and I really dread that appointment because I think she will be really hard on me and I still don't feel, what I consider to be, good. I don't want you to feel like a failure so if you can hold on a little longer please do so. I pray that your side effects ease up and you get to feeling better.

HUGS!!!
Jamie

rallendorfer said:

Change in treatment
After a long talk with the Oncologist it was decided that I have a mammogram and ultrasound right away to see if a lumpectomy were possible now (if the lumps had shrunk enough). BS was there and examined me too. I go to see him on Thursday and surgery will be scheduled ASAP. He sounded like a mastectomy was not out of the question, so I am trying to prepare myself.

Jamie, I am not stage IV and I am more concerned than you know that you stay with it. I hear the discouragement in your post, and hope that you can find that life line of hope to do what it takes to live. I understand so much how you feel too!!!! Thanks for sending over encouraging words to me. I am wishing I could help you too. We are like two people with broken legs leaning on each other for support on the good leg! I hope your visit was peaceful with your onc today and you gained some strength.

Love to all of the pink sisters,
Rebecca

:-(
Hi Rebecca I just saw this post so I am a bit late. I know chemo can be so taxing on our bodies at times I am sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time of it. Glad you were able to have a good discussion with your doctor and that they have decided to take a different course of treatment for the time being. I agree with these ladies you are a survivor, warrior, fighter and you are kicking its butt even if it feels like that is not so. You are enduring the treatments and the treatments are killing the cancer, take it one treatment at a time, do not hesitate to call your doctor anytime you feel things are not right, you are too tired, you are in pain or for whatever reason...cancer is not like most illnesses we need to be in close contact with our doctors telling them exactly how we are feeling and expressing our needs at all times! Please keep us posted and let us know how your dr. apt goes on Thursday.

Hugs,

RE

rallendorfer said:

Change in treatment
After a long talk with the Oncologist it was decided that I have a mammogram and ultrasound right away to see if a lumpectomy were possible now (if the lumps had shrunk enough). BS was there and examined me too. I go to see him on Thursday and surgery will be scheduled ASAP. He sounded like a mastectomy was not out of the question, so I am trying to prepare myself.

Jamie, I am not stage IV and I am more concerned than you know that you stay with it. I hear the discouragement in your post, and hope that you can find that life line of hope to do what it takes to live. I understand so much how you feel too!!!! Thanks for sending over encouraging words to me. I am wishing I could help you too. We are like two people with broken legs leaning on each other for support on the good leg! I hope your visit was peaceful with your onc today and you gained some strength.

Love to all of the pink sisters,
Rebecca

Good luck with your mammo/ultrasound.
I hope you can get on with the lumpectomy or mastectomy. In my case, I had surgery before chemo but I've noticed that doctors do things differently. Obviously, having surgery first didn't keep my cancer from returning. Now I wonder if having chemo first might have done better for me but we will always have those "what ifs" won't we?

My visit with the onc went well, I think. I am scheduled to get chemo this Friday with the dose reduced by 25% and I won't be taking the Xeloda pills this time. I have a prescription for Fentanyl patch to hopefully manage the bone and joint pain. I'm scared that I will have really bad side effects again but if that happens, the onc will most likely switch to another chemo. She said she started out with something strong so she could stop the cancer growth before it got out of control. It was nice to know she didn't consider it out of control but I kind of reminded her that it had to kill the cancer without killing me in the process. Yes we can definitely hold each other up until we both have two strong legs to stand on. I'm sorry we are both suffering so much but it's nice to know there's someone out there who knows how it feels because the doctors just don't get it. I asked my onc if she has ever been told by a patient that they felt like something was sucking the lifeforce out of them. She once again went back to insisting that it was due to depression so I gave up on that.

Good luck to you and keep fighting! Hopefully you will be feeling better very soon.

HUGS!!!
Jamie