I need as much advice as possible!!!!

gwj7
gwj7 Member Posts: 21
edited August 2012 in Colorectal Cancer #1
My mom recently has been diagnosed with colon cancer and she's planning on getting treatment at Sloan Kettering in NYC. We live in NJ and there is a NJ sloan facility but apparently they were talking about waiting until mid Septemeber to start chemo and that they were understaffed or something.It made my mom very unsure with her decision with Sloan because she thought the person she spoke to on the phone was incompetent or something and this is cancer. Apparently some lymph nodes were swollen on a scan and she is freaking out about it metastasizing to her brain or something if she doesn't have immediate treatment.



My dad is at work but I texted him to call Sloan as soon as possible so we can work everything out. In the mean time my 56 year old mom is FREAKING OUT. I think she is having a panic attack. It's been about two weeks since diagnoses and the first week was so horrible but I thought everyone's moral improved and things almost went back to normal.


I woke up today and I hate seeing my mom like this. I was trying to calm her down while she was in tears rambling on and sometimes I had no idea what she was talking about. She is freaking out about everyone supporting her. Like my uncle sent her an ipad (thinking it would be useful during chemo or something) and her friend told her to come over swimming whenever she wanted. She takes these as people being nice to her because she is dying.
I am 18 years old and I shouldn't see my mom like this. I feel like I need to control everything and I can't right now. I am supposed to go to college as a freshman in a month but hoooooooooooooooooooooow can I do that? I tried calming my mom down by saying that I am a huge hypocondriac and anxiety ridden person (she knows this is so true) and that I am not freaking out about it so she shouldn't. I told her stressing over uncertainty is pointless and that it is completely normal to be freaking out since your recent diagnoses with cancer, but people go through this and everything will be okay. I repeatedly told her that she is going to overcome this and live and it will all be good. Is this a bad thing?




How do I calm her down? I think her mind is racing because she wants the cancer OUT of her body and she feels kind of unsure with Sloan. I told her to call one of her friends and talk about unrelated things because why bother worrying???????? She is currently on the phone and has stopped crying.




I am rambling on but please give an 18 year old son advice on what he should tell his mother who is panicking about the diagnosis. I told her about this site but she is scared to come on here and face the reality of what she will be going through.
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Comments

  • peanutcat
    peanutcat Member Posts: 104
    #2
    Advice
    Tell her people go through this all the time. I know a carpenter that HAD!!!! colon cancer and know he is Cancer fre. I saw him Sat. He was diagnosed last August and he already got his port out which to me and him means he is cancer free. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Feb went thrugh chemo and radiation now I'm cancer free. I will be getting my port out in a few weeks. You should call the person who told your mom she had to wait for chemo in Sept and tell them NO give it to her NOW.. go over there head if you have to. Tell them she won't stop crying they will listen to you your her son (family). Let me know how you do good luck. I'll be praying for her.
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #3
    From another Sloan Kettering patient
    First, those first few weeks after a cancer diagnosis are insane. Your mind never slows down, and despite the fact that there have been enormous strides in cancer treatment, the initial assumption is "I've got cancer, I'm going to die."

    I'm 5 years out from a Stage 4 diagnosis and doing great. I've been very contented with my care at Sloan Kettering - as a dedicated facility, the staff is particularly patient with all of our fears and concerns.

    I understand your mother's feelings - I was 55 when I was diagnosed, and my world blew up (as did the world of my husband and children.)

    Yes, you want the cancer out of your body as fast as possible, but it took a while to grow. A few weeks until the start of chemo shouldn't make a difference.

    Perhaps your mom can start chemo sooner at the main campus, and then continue at the NJ satellite. It's worth asking about.

    Does your mom need to talk to someone who's been there, done that? You can send me a private message with her phone number, and I'll give her a call.

    As for you, please go on to college, and continue living your life. You'll be there for your mom. She has a fine son in you.

    Alice
  • gwj7
    gwj7 Member Posts: 21
    #4
    abrub said:

    From another Sloan Kettering patient
    First, those first few weeks after a cancer diagnosis are insane. Your mind never slows down, and despite the fact that there have been enormous strides in cancer treatment, the initial assumption is "I've got cancer, I'm going to die."

    I'm 5 years out from a Stage 4 diagnosis and doing great. I've been very contented with my care at Sloan Kettering - as a dedicated facility, the staff is particularly patient with all of our fears and concerns.

    I understand your mother's feelings - I was 55 when I was diagnosed, and my world blew up (as did the world of my husband and children.)

    Yes, you want the cancer out of your body as fast as possible, but it took a while to grow. A few weeks until the start of chemo shouldn't make a difference.

    Perhaps your mom can start chemo sooner at the main campus, and then continue at the NJ satellite. It's worth asking about.

    Does your mom need to talk to someone who's been there, done that? You can send me a private message with her phone number, and I'll give her a call.

    As for you, please go on to college, and continue living your life. You'll be there for your mom. She has a fine son in you.

    Alice

    Thank you so much!!! I hope
    Thank you so much!!! I hope to eventually get my mom
    onto this site. I was initially in panic mode as well but this site has really calmed me down and made me realize cancer is bad, but you can get past it! The problem right now is that I don't know if my mom is really accepting reality and how she has cancer. She obviously doesn't want to accept something like this. We don't know her sage yet since we are only two weeks after diagnosis but apparently some lymph nodes are swollen on a scan. I don't know.... I am hoping for the best!!!!



    I also have been telling her about this site and asking her if she wants me to show her success stories with people having worst case scenario (like stage IV). She says she doesn't want to see anything here because I don't think she wants to face reality. I also don't think she wants to truly know what the next couple months will be like. I don't know...... Like right now she took a pill (I guess for anxiety) that her doctor prescribed to her last week.




    I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I just feel like ignoring it completely like what my mom wants to do is not the best thing. I certainly don't think it should be the only topic of discussion but I want my mom to know that people live with this and beat it. Any more advice oh **** appreciated!!!!!!! Thanks everyone
  • John23
    John23 Member Posts: 2,122 Member
    #5
    peanutcat said:

    Advice
    Tell her people go through this all the time. I know a carpenter that HAD!!!! colon cancer and know he is Cancer fre. I saw him Sat. He was diagnosed last August and he already got his port out which to me and him means he is cancer free. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer last Feb went thrugh chemo and radiation now I'm cancer free. I will be getting my port out in a few weeks. You should call the person who told your mom she had to wait for chemo in Sept and tell them NO give it to her NOW.. go over there head if you have to. Tell them she won't stop crying they will listen to you your her son (family). Let me know how you do good luck. I'll be praying for her.

    Peanutcat -

    Re:
    "Tell her people go through this all the time. I know a carpenter
    that HAD!!!! colon cancer and know he is Cancer fre. I saw him
    Sat. He was diagnosed last August and he already got his port out
    which to me and him means he is cancer free."

    Egads, but I truly hate reading this kind of stuff!

    A cancer cell usually takes two or more years to even be identified
    as a cancer cell using the usual indicators. Someone diagnosed
    in August is suddenly considered "cancer free"? As if they have
    been cured?

    This type of optimism is damaging to every cancer victim, since
    it generates the idea that if one's signs of cancer returns a month
    or a year later, then they are doomed; that cancer should have been
    eradicated within weeks of diagnosis if the treatments have worked.

    Most of us here have had one scare after another, getting treatments
    and finding that cancer was not eradicated as hoped for.

    If getting rid of cancer was that fast and easy, this forum would
    be of no use at all to anyone.

    Cancer is considered by the entire medical society as being
    a terminal disease. For some, it may be controllable and treated
    similar to a chronic disease, but there is no known cure to date.

    Please don't play down the seriousness of cancer.

    Best wishes for you for better health,

    John
  • mysweetgrace
    mysweetgrace Member Posts: 3
    #6
    It takes time...
    I'm sorry your family is facing this tough situation.

    It will take time to process everything - it is very scary in the beginning. My best advice to you is to support your Mom as much as you can and give her a little time to let the reality of the situation soak in. Just be there for her as much as you can.

    My Dad has colon cancer as well and is in treatment now. I'm trying to take care of the "business side" of things (making appointments, filling out paperwork, making phonecalls, etc.). This is something you or someone in your family can do so that she can just focus on feeling better and taking care of herself. Hopefully, with time, she will begin to get a fighting attitude about this.

    Hopefully things will begin to fall into place and she can start treatment soon.

    Can you give more details about her diagnosis?
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #7
    gwj7 said:

    Thank you so much!!! I hope
    Thank you so much!!! I hope to eventually get my mom
    onto this site. I was initially in panic mode as well but this site has really calmed me down and made me realize cancer is bad, but you can get past it! The problem right now is that I don't know if my mom is really accepting reality and how she has cancer. She obviously doesn't want to accept something like this. We don't know her sage yet since we are only two weeks after diagnosis but apparently some lymph nodes are swollen on a scan. I don't know.... I am hoping for the best!!!!



    I also have been telling her about this site and asking her if she wants me to show her success stories with people having worst case scenario (like stage IV). She says she doesn't want to see anything here because I don't think she wants to face reality. I also don't think she wants to truly know what the next couple months will be like. I don't know...... Like right now she took a pill (I guess for anxiety) that her doctor prescribed to her last week.




    I hope that tomorrow is a better day. I just feel like ignoring it completely like what my mom wants to do is not the best thing. I certainly don't think it should be the only topic of discussion but I want my mom to know that people live with this and beat it. Any more advice oh **** appreciated!!!!!!! Thanks everyone

    Another quick note
    Try to talk about "normal" things with your mom, too. Cancer does not have to occupy everyone's every waking moment. She needs to know that she will continue to live, even with cancer; that she will continue to deal with routine day-to-day stuff.

    There is nothing wrong with anti-anxiety meds; the mind goes through incredibly powerful and frightening gyrations when handed this diagnosis. Your mom needs to be able to be afraid, but then to get herself back into living again. At 2 weeks from diagnosis, it's way too soon to expect anything rational. Assure yourself (even tho she won't believe you) that life will settle down, albeit with new concerns. The next year or so will be crazy, but your mom will not be this anxious indefinitely.

    Alice
  • Maxiecat
    Maxiecat Member Posts: 544 Member
    #8
    Just take one day at a time.
    Just take one day at a time. I am 45 and just found out in june that i have cancer it has been a roqllercoaster ride ever since. I had surgery on june 15th and had to wait till july 23rd to have chemo. I am in the process of finding a specialist ...i learned that my cancer is more rare. You might want to consider having someone in your family manage all the paperwork and appointment if your mom is overwhelmed. Get her to talk about or do other things that will focus her attention on something other than her cancer.

    Alex
  • dmj101
    dmj101 Member Posts: 527 Member
    #9
    Where in NJ are you
    Please don't think you have to go to Sloan to get sloan care.. in fact there are many facilities in Jersey that follow the Sloan ways and you get much nicer care and quicker appointment times..
    I have never been to sloan but the experiences I have heard really shyied me away from going there..
    All my doc are from Sloan.. but in Jersey hospitals now..
    Private message me and tell me were you are.. may be able to provide you some more info..
    Who wants to schlep into NYC from jersey when you feel horrible 2 hrs in and 2 hrs out and however long you will be there just waiting.. not my idea of getting healthy... and the jersey facility refused to see me for metastic colon cancers.. so be mindful when planning on using sloam. NJ has some of the best cancer care centers in the country and people just don't know about it as they don't get the advertising out as only the bad expereiences are spoken of usually and that is true in all expereciences everwhere.. and I dont' want to let this to be known as it will cause my appointments to get delayed if more patience go these places.. selfish.. I know..
  • gwj7
    gwj7 Member Posts: 21
    #10
    dmj101 said:

    Where in NJ are you
    Please don't think you have to go to Sloan to get sloan care.. in fact there are many facilities in Jersey that follow the Sloan ways and you get much nicer care and quicker appointment times..
    I have never been to sloan but the experiences I have heard really shyied me away from going there..
    All my doc are from Sloan.. but in Jersey hospitals now..
    Private message me and tell me were you are.. may be able to provide you some more info..
    Who wants to schlep into NYC from jersey when you feel horrible 2 hrs in and 2 hrs out and however long you will be there just waiting.. not my idea of getting healthy... and the jersey facility refused to see me for metastic colon cancers.. so be mindful when planning on using sloam. NJ has some of the best cancer care centers in the country and people just don't know about it as they don't get the advertising out as only the bad expereiences are spoken of usually and that is true in all expereciences everwhere.. and I dont' want to let this to be known as it will cause my appointments to get delayed if more patience go these places.. selfish.. I know..

    We're in central Jersey in
    We're in central Jersey in somerset county. We initially checked out a local place but my mom's friend who had cancer (not colon though) highly recommended Sloan and we've heard very good things. My parents both said that their NYC initial visit was good and they felt comfortable with it. The only problem was the nj location but I'm not completely sure what happened. My dad is calling later and will try to figure everything out. We only live about an hour from the city so if it came to it I don't think that would be a huge deal or anything.
  • marbleotis
    marbleotis Member Posts: 720 Member
    #11
    Sloan is not your only
    Sloan is not your only option. The NY and NJ areas have wonderful cancer centers. The most important thing is your Mom needs to feel comfortable with the center she selects. She also must have a good relationship with her Onc. I have CC stage 3b no mets, only symptom was left side pain front and back. Dx 1/13/12 at colonoscopy, surgery 1/31/12, rest 1 month, port implant 2/28/12, chemo started 3/7/12 and I am currently on chemo #11 of 12. I was born and raised in NY but have lived in NC the last 10 years. We have wonderful medical facilities here, just 10 minutes frm my house.

    I remember the NJ to NY traffic and this might cause your Mom undue stress commuting to appointments or chemo treatments if her solution goes that way.

    All of us lost our minds when we are first Dx'ed. Let her get that out. But I learned early that you will find someone always has it worse. I felt sorry for myself until a former neighbor was Dx'ed with CC stage 4 with mets at 26 years old. Wow!

    Keep talking to you Mom and her doc, find all the good cancer centers in NJ. Sloan is good but not the only option, and telling you that you had to wait because they are understaffed doesn't sit well with me. Information is power - start researching! Keep us updated please we are all pulling for your Mom and family. We have all been where you guys are right now.
  • gwj7
    gwj7 Member Posts: 21
    #12
    marbleotis said:

    Sloan is not your only
    Sloan is not your only option. The NY and NJ areas have wonderful cancer centers. The most important thing is your Mom needs to feel comfortable with the center she selects. She also must have a good relationship with her Onc. I have CC stage 3b no mets, only symptom was left side pain front and back. Dx 1/13/12 at colonoscopy, surgery 1/31/12, rest 1 month, port implant 2/28/12, chemo started 3/7/12 and I am currently on chemo #11 of 12. I was born and raised in NY but have lived in NC the last 10 years. We have wonderful medical facilities here, just 10 minutes frm my house.

    I remember the NJ to NY traffic and this might cause your Mom undue stress commuting to appointments or chemo treatments if her solution goes that way.

    All of us lost our minds when we are first Dx'ed. Let her get that out. But I learned early that you will find someone always has it worse. I felt sorry for myself until a former neighbor was Dx'ed with CC stage 4 with mets at 26 years old. Wow!

    Keep talking to you Mom and her doc, find all the good cancer centers in NJ. Sloan is good but not the only option, and telling you that you had to wait because they are understaffed doesn't sit well with me. Information is power - start researching! Keep us updated please we are all pulling for your Mom and family. We have all been where you guys are right now.

    I have heard from numerous
    I have heard from numerous people that Sloan is the best of the best. I also read online that it is number 2 in the country. Hearing different opinions worries me because I am pretty sure my parents wouldn't really do anything if I told them to look into other facilities. After all I am only 18. Sloan was their second opinion too.
  • gwj7
    gwj7 Member Posts: 21
    #13
    marbleotis said:

    Sloan is not your only
    Sloan is not your only option. The NY and NJ areas have wonderful cancer centers. The most important thing is your Mom needs to feel comfortable with the center she selects. She also must have a good relationship with her Onc. I have CC stage 3b no mets, only symptom was left side pain front and back. Dx 1/13/12 at colonoscopy, surgery 1/31/12, rest 1 month, port implant 2/28/12, chemo started 3/7/12 and I am currently on chemo #11 of 12. I was born and raised in NY but have lived in NC the last 10 years. We have wonderful medical facilities here, just 10 minutes frm my house.

    I remember the NJ to NY traffic and this might cause your Mom undue stress commuting to appointments or chemo treatments if her solution goes that way.

    All of us lost our minds when we are first Dx'ed. Let her get that out. But I learned early that you will find someone always has it worse. I felt sorry for myself until a former neighbor was Dx'ed with CC stage 4 with mets at 26 years old. Wow!

    Keep talking to you Mom and her doc, find all the good cancer centers in NJ. Sloan is good but not the only option, and telling you that you had to wait because they are understaffed doesn't sit well with me. Information is power - start researching! Keep us updated please we are all pulling for your Mom and family. We have all been where you guys are right now.

    I have heard from numerous
    I have heard from numerous people that Sloan is the best of the best. I also read online that it is number 2 in the country. Hearing different opinions worries me because I am pretty sure my parents wouldn't really do anything if I told them to look into other facilities. After all I am only 18. Sloan was their second opinion too.
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #14
    I was just diagnosed in
    I was just diagnosed in February and am in the exact same position as your mom. If you go back to a post that says "I feel like I'm going insane" in early May, that's my post. My first surgery didn't work and I was panicking. I no longer feel like I'm going insane. The insanity that you go through in the first two weeks is unbearable. It just takes time and you can't stop the insanity, she has to get to a doctor who can reassure her that she is still in the curable phase (and from the sound of it, she is). Also swollen lymph nodes are sometimes just swollen lymph nodes. I would suggest going to Sloan in NYC and calling today because it takes time to get an appt. Have the report ready from the other hospital (they can email it to you, you can then email it to Sloan). They will ask for it and you need it to make an appt. Once she's in, she can request a PET scan (a scan of her whole body). For some reason we all think it goes to our brains, it doesn't. Once she has the PET and realizes her brain is fine and it's just in the one area of her body and perfectly treatable, she will feel much better. Even if she doesn't get her actual treatment at the NYC site, it will help her to calm down and probably get her an "in" with the NJ site or find another cancer center in NJ at that point.

    when I first came on here someone on here said to me "cancer is not a death sentence". It really isn't. It's perfectly treatable and often curable. Once you get in to see the doctor, you feel relief and when you start treatment, you feel even better. It's a slow process. You should tell her to talk on the phone a lot today so that she can get it out of her system until your dad gets home to help you. Meanwhile, your dad should make that appt. today with Sloan so she's in sooner than later.
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #15
    Helen321 said:

    I was just diagnosed in
    I was just diagnosed in February and am in the exact same position as your mom. If you go back to a post that says "I feel like I'm going insane" in early May, that's my post. My first surgery didn't work and I was panicking. I no longer feel like I'm going insane. The insanity that you go through in the first two weeks is unbearable. It just takes time and you can't stop the insanity, she has to get to a doctor who can reassure her that she is still in the curable phase (and from the sound of it, she is). Also swollen lymph nodes are sometimes just swollen lymph nodes. I would suggest going to Sloan in NYC and calling today because it takes time to get an appt. Have the report ready from the other hospital (they can email it to you, you can then email it to Sloan). They will ask for it and you need it to make an appt. Once she's in, she can request a PET scan (a scan of her whole body). For some reason we all think it goes to our brains, it doesn't. Once she has the PET and realizes her brain is fine and it's just in the one area of her body and perfectly treatable, she will feel much better. Even if she doesn't get her actual treatment at the NYC site, it will help her to calm down and probably get her an "in" with the NJ site or find another cancer center in NJ at that point.

    when I first came on here someone on here said to me "cancer is not a death sentence". It really isn't. It's perfectly treatable and often curable. Once you get in to see the doctor, you feel relief and when you start treatment, you feel even better. It's a slow process. You should tell her to talk on the phone a lot today so that she can get it out of her system until your dad gets home to help you. Meanwhile, your dad should make that appt. today with Sloan so she's in sooner than later.

    PS. I got my first surgery
    PS. I got my first surgery done without chemo at a local hospital and without a second opinion. Always get a second opinion. Now I'm in Sloan and we are doing a different course of treatment with chemo/radiation.
  • Helen321
    Helen321 Member Posts: 1,460 Member
    #16
    dmj101 said:

    Where in NJ are you
    Please don't think you have to go to Sloan to get sloan care.. in fact there are many facilities in Jersey that follow the Sloan ways and you get much nicer care and quicker appointment times..
    I have never been to sloan but the experiences I have heard really shyied me away from going there..
    All my doc are from Sloan.. but in Jersey hospitals now..
    Private message me and tell me were you are.. may be able to provide you some more info..
    Who wants to schlep into NYC from jersey when you feel horrible 2 hrs in and 2 hrs out and however long you will be there just waiting.. not my idea of getting healthy... and the jersey facility refused to see me for metastic colon cancers.. so be mindful when planning on using sloam. NJ has some of the best cancer care centers in the country and people just don't know about it as they don't get the advertising out as only the bad expereiences are spoken of usually and that is true in all expereciences everwhere.. and I dont' want to let this to be known as it will cause my appointments to get delayed if more patience go these places.. selfish.. I know..

    My aunt goes to one called
    My aunt goes to one called Fox Chase in NJ. She loves it there. She went to Sloan for her second opinion. They both said the same thing so she stuck with Fox Chase and is doing very well.
  • Ruffy7
    Ruffy7 Member Posts: 126
    #17
    gwj7 said:

    I have heard from numerous
    I have heard from numerous people that Sloan is the best of the best. I also read online that it is number 2 in the country. Hearing different opinions worries me because I am pretty sure my parents wouldn't really do anything if I told them to look into other facilities. After all I am only 18. Sloan was their second opinion too.

    hello
    You are a good son for being there for your mom! My 27 year old son was one of the most supportive people when I was dx. He didn't hover (like other family members did) but he did little things that meant so much. All you can do is be there for her - she needs time to process this life changing event and she will but everyone has to do it in their own way and timetable. Just wanted to thank you (and my son) for being there and being the terrific young men that you are! Hang in there, as others have said, the first few weeks/months are hell. Hugs, ruffy
  • annalexandria
    annalexandria Member Posts: 2,571 Member
    #18
    Breaks my heart that you're going through this...
    two of my kids are around your age (one is 17 and the other 20) and I know my cancer diagnosis has been very, very hard on them. Please hang on to the thought that things WILL get better. Your mom is in the one of the very worst parts of the whole process, imo...the first several weeks after diagnosis. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare. But once your mom gets her treatment plan in place, and gets started on fighting the cancer, she will feel so much better, I guarantee it. Physically, things may get harder, as she deals with the treatment side effects, but emotionally she will start to feel more stable and accepting of her situation. It may be hard to imagine at this point, but most people with cancer do come to grips with the new reality, and are able to live fulfilling lives even while in treatment. And a couple of things that might help your mom in the short-term, at least in my experience, are having her doc prescribe an anti-anxiety medication, and getting someone to talk to who is a professional at this sort of thing. I talked with a social worker connected with my doctor's office, and it really helped. She calmed me down quite a bit. And for the times when the anxiety just got overwhelming (as it will for almost everyone dealing with cancer at some point), medication can be very effective at just taking the edge off of things a little, makes it easier to get through your day in one piece. Finally, I would tell your mom that you've been on this site, and there are lots of people here (including myself) who are living for years, and doing very well, even with cancer. Some here have reached the point where their doctors consider them "cured" so it does happen. Tell your mom from me to have hope, and tell her that we are all rooting for her to do very well in this journey! Many hugs to you both-Ann
  • mom_2_3
    mom_2_3 Member Posts: 953 Member
    #19
    Sloan
    GWJ7,

    I feel compassion for what you are going through. My father was diagnosed with lung cancer when I was 27. While I was much older at that time than you are now, it was difficult to function in my own life when my father was going through treatments and struggles in his own. Look to your mom for cues on how to respond. If your mom is looking to talk with you about her diagnosis, do so. If she wants to discuss other things, do that. You have not yet found out her exact diagnosis so it's quite possible that this next year will just be a year of treatments in her life and she will be fine and live to a ripe old age.

    Regarding Sloan, it's an excellent facility. From the surgeons, the oncologists, the nurses and administrative support staff, I have never met anyone that wasn't top-notch. When I was in the middle of my chemo treatments I would check-in to the front desk and the receptionist would always know my name before I gave it. I was amazed that the staff would know my name given the number of patients that are seen in the facility. No lie, there is sometimes a wait but I have never regretted my decision to go to MSK for treatments. It usually takes my an hour from my house to get there. If I have an 11:30 appt I will leave my house at 10 as you need to be there 1/2 hour earlier for bloodwork. Everything there is one-stop shopping so the times I needed an ultrasound, additional bloodwork, CT or mammogram, get chemo treatments or pick up prescriptions, I was able to stay in the same 53rd street building and never go to another location.

    I do go to the Basking Ridge location, however, for scans and when I occassionally needed shots or bloodwork outside of treatment days. It is also possible to go to Basking Ridge for metastatic treatment (ie chemotherapy) and I have 2 friends who did just that. One of those actually drives from Long Island all the way to Basking Ridge in order to see his oncologist. That friend is NED (no evidence of disease) more than 7 years from his last treatment and he was a Stage IV patient.

    I am also a Stage IV and I have been NED for 3 years and 4 months. If your mom ever wants to talk, please let me know and I would be more than happy to meet her at the Basking Ridge facility or elsewhere for tea/coffee.

    All the best to you,
    Amy
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #20
    Helen321 said:

    My aunt goes to one called
    My aunt goes to one called Fox Chase in NJ. She loves it there. She went to Sloan for her second opinion. They both said the same thing so she stuck with Fox Chase and is doing very well.

    Fox Chase
    I have a lady friend who lives in Western NJ and she recommended Fox Chase as well as the Cancer Center of America in Phillie. Unfortunately, neither of them takes my insurance.

    Of course I live in Utah, but I'd be willing to relocate for her.
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #21
    The Wait
    These first few weeks are going to be the most anxious that your mom will endure. But at this early date it shouldn't make much of a difference on waiting for an appointment. Last year I had to go two months without treatment and my cancer count (CEA) got pretty high. Once treatment started again, the count dropped fast.

    Try to distract her with activities that will take her mind off cancer. Two days after my dx, I had company come to visit on a trip we'd been planning for months. The next day we went to the grand opening of a wild animal park in Williams AZ and had an absolute blast. Being with them really helped get my mind off cancer and I just couldn't believe that a couple of days before my GI doc had dropped a huge nuke on my head.

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