Just venting...

I am having a bad day or week. My mom was in the hospital over the weekend. She had excruciating pain on her left hip. She asked me to take her to the hospital but we ended up calling an ambulance because there was no way she could get to the car or in it.

She had a lot of tests and they determined it it bursitis. My mom is not a good patient. She also has a very negative attitude so she complains about everything. She tells everyone they didn't do anything for her and they don't know what is wrong with her. I correct her which she hates.

As her only child and since we live together I am resposible for her, which I don't mind but the negativity gets me down. I downplay my illness because I don't want to upset my mom or my son but my mom acts like everything is life or death. I brought her home yesterday and now she is experiencing constipation which she never has a problem with and she is beside herself. I am always telling her about what a big problem that is for me and the lengths I go through to be able to go to the bathroom. Her response is always, I don't have that problem. So I explained to her that she hasn't been eating much, she has been in bed and has been taking pain medication all which contribute to the problem. It falls on deaf ears.

She claims the pain meds did nothing for her but she thinks they will eliminate the pain. I have told her so many times that the pain has to slowly subside. She never sees the good in anything. I asked the nurse in front of her if we could expect this to go away completely and he said yes. But then my mom will get on the phone and say the pain is just as bad as when she went in which is silly because she couldn't even move that day.

I cannot tell my mom anything because she gets mad. After I told her to relax about the constipation she got mad and said I hurt, don't you think I hurt. I said yes I know but it will be ok, why do you have to act mad. I told her I am here for her and she acts like no one does anything for her. Well, she walked away (i told you she was better) and I followed her down the hall, crying, and said I am here for you aren't I, why do you have to act like your mad all the time. It didn't do any good. I went to my room and cried for a while.

I want to tell her, my God, I have cancer but I try to keep it together because I don't want to be upset or down. I want to be happy which I am. I wish I had a pain in my hip or just constipation. I have to take into account that she is 88 and has has a lot of pain because of rheumatoid arthritis but being negative never helped a situation.

I am going to have to just go along with the program as I always do. But her moods do affect me. I don't think it's fair that I spare her feelings but she makes no attempt to spare mine. Even when I was in treatment and as miserable as I have ever been I never had a negative attitude. Granted I was not jumping for joy but no one can say I was a grump.

She just got a phone call and said she feels terrible!

Sorry ladies, I had to vent.


Karen