Oops... I'm a Cheater

Vickilg
Vickilg Member Posts: 281 Member
in Colorectal Cancer #1
This what happens when you finally decide to get second opinions - I feel like I am cheating on my doctors and I really don't want them finding out. We have a three year relationship and I cherish them but just want to double check if someone can offer me something more.

Waiting on result from one doctor. Just scheduled a visit with a third doctor. Also booked a two hour appointment with a Chinese Tradtional Medical doctor who will work with me while I do chemotherapy.

So either the second opinions will confirm what my current doctors say or they will offer me something more. At any rate it will be good to know. So over going to doctors but my next couple of weeks will be full of seeing them

Comments

  • Sonia32
    Sonia32 Member Posts: 1,071 Member
    #2
    Good!
    Proud of you, can understand what you mean by feeling like you're cheating lol. You owe this to yourself and your family. Vicki honestly over the last three years I have learned all that is said is not written in stone. Either you might get a knock back by doctor number 2 as well, number 3 may be championing you along, along with the tcm doc, and that helps, you just don't know unless you give it a shot.
  • Brenda Bricco
    Brenda Bricco Member Posts: 579 Member
    #3
    If my Husband wouldn't have
    If my Husband wouldn't have asked for other opinions it would have just been chemo... Thank GOD the second opinion was with docs at the UW Hospital that wanted to cheat the cancer - after answered prayers = RFA, colon resection,and liver resection (whole right lobe- 65%)He is at NED . I understand having loyalty to your docs but if they are telling you that they have nothing more to offer you (not sure if that is what they are saying) then I am sure they would cheerfully prepare your history and send it to whom ever you are seeing for a second opinion. This is your life, you owe it to yourself to do it. :)
    May GOD bless you.
    Brenda
  • abrub
    abrub Member Posts: 2,174 Member
    #4
    Multiple opinions saved my life
    2 of the 3 oncs I met with just wanted to treat my appendix cancer as "standard colon cancer", moving straight on to systemic chemo with no further surgery. The 3rd dr knew appendix cancer, and knew that the systemic chemo would be of minimal value; intra-peritoneal chemo was the way to go for my type of cancer (followed by systemic.) However, the IP chemo was much more important.

    He was right; I got the correct treatment: major debulking followed by IP chemo, and now, 5 years later, I'm doing great!

    Look for other opinions to find what feels right to you.
  • janderson1964
    janderson1964 Member Posts: 2,215 Member
    #5
    I know what you mean. But
    I know what you mean. But remember it is your life and they work for you. Do what is best for your survival.
  • tootsie1
    tootsie1 Member Posts: 5,044 Member
    #6
    Good idea
    Yeah, it seems wrong in a way, but it's your life. You have to do what's best for you!

    *hugs*
    Gail
  • danker
    danker Member Posts: 1,276 Member
    #7
    Vickilg
    You have to have total faith in you doctors. I fired my first oncologist. You aren't cheating, only looking out for yourself.
  • taraHK
    taraHK Member Posts: 1,952 Member
    #8
    my opinion
    In my opinion, a "good" doctor should never object to you seeking out a second opinion -- in fact, should be open and supportive. Still doesn't stop the 'guilty' feeling maybe ;)

    May I also say that, in my opinion, if you are taking traditional Chinese medicines, you should inform your oncologist -- some TCM may not be compatible with chemo [your TCM dr may already know all this) -- or with scans (here in Hong Kong, there are a couple or traditional herbs/medicines you have to stop for a few days before PET scan). This is just my opinion....

    Wishing you good news from the second opinions, and going forward

    Tara
  • Doc_Hawk
    Doc_Hawk Member Posts: 685
    #9
    Not cheating
    It's not cheating at all. When I see my onc next week, I'm going to get his opinion on who to go see for second and third opinions on my case. I have no doubts that he will be open and supportive to get and welcome insights from oncologists.
  • steved
    steved Member Posts: 834 Member
    #10
    Not cheating
    You aren't cheating your docs, you are cheating your cancer that is fully allowed.

    You aren't in a relationship with your docs beyond the professional (I hope!) and all docs respect quality second opinions. Good docs actively encourage them and I would suggest you are open with all your docs about what you are doing. Any of them that balk at the idea I would be very suspicious of- no doc should worry about having his work scrutinised unless he is worried he is not doing the right thing. As a doc myself I love second opinions and ask for them more often than my patients!

    Knowledge is power so go for it.

    steve
  • Annabelle41415
    Annabelle41415 Member Posts: 6,742 Member
    #11
    Opinion
    Its good to get a second or third opinion. This way you can be sure you have covered others opinions and just not relied on one doctor.

    Kim
  • PhillieG
    PhillieG Member Posts: 4,866 Member
    #12
    They See Other Patients...
    While your current team may be great, they may have taken you are far as they can.
    Second opinions have saved many lives, sometimes a fresh set of eyes are needed.
    Keep us posted, best of luck with your appointments.
    -phil
  • smokeyjoe
    smokeyjoe Member Posts: 1,425 Member
    #13
    PhillieG said:

    They See Other Patients...
    While your current team may be great, they may have taken you are far as they can.
    Second opinions have saved many lives, sometimes a fresh set of eyes are needed.
    Keep us posted, best of luck with your appointments.
    -phil

    Weird I was sure I commented
    Weird I was sure I commented on this post earlier today, but it's gone!! Anyhow...when I was in hospital my DOCTORS sent me to a larger cancer centre for another opionion as to what was wrong with me. I didn't ask for a second opinion ... I was just going with the flow of all the tests, scans....and next thing I know they had scheduled an appointment with top onc./surgeon down in the big city, they had arranged ambulance to send me there. They didn't hesitate at all to send me for another opinion.

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