Support

EveningStar2
EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
in Breast Cancer #1
We've had some folks here lately who are not getting the support that they should for various reasons. I just wanted to chime in and say that my husband is *very* supportive. He has made it quite clear that I am not my breasts and he loves me with or without them. Do we fight--oh yes! This has been a huge stressor and we pick at each other but the bottom line is that he is there for me.

Just wanted to say that. And I suspect there are many more but he always gets this funny look on his face when I talk about guys taking off during these times and he says "how can they do that?"

Maureen

Comments

  • missrenee
    missrenee Member Posts: 2,136 Member
    #2
    I've got a great one, too, Maureen
    It's wonderful to know that my husband's always got my back and for the last 2 1/2 years since diagnosis, he has been with me for all my procedures, chemo, and important appointments. I could not have done this without his never-ending support and I always send prayers to those who are not as lucky.

    Glad your husband's there for you too, Maureen.

    Hugs, Renee
  • MAJW
    MAJW Member Posts: 2,510 Member
    #3
    missrenee said:

    I've got a great one, too, Maureen
    It's wonderful to know that my husband's always got my back and for the last 2 1/2 years since diagnosis, he has been with me for all my procedures, chemo, and important appointments. I could not have done this without his never-ending support and I always send prayers to those who are not as lucky.

    Glad your husband's there for you too, Maureen.

    Hugs, Renee

    Having...
    Having a supportive spouse makes all the difference....I happen to have a wonderfully, supportive husband...he's been to EVERY appointment, chemo, 3 rads, etc.... We have friends who have offered to take me and his answer is always, no...He has been my rock, these past 3 years...we celebrated our 43rd anniversary, yesterday....high school sweethearts...I always tell him, he took his vows to heart...in sickness and in health...

    I wish all our pink sisters had the support he has given me..I am so grateful and blessed...
    Hugs, Nancy
  • Rague
    Rague Member Posts: 3,653 Member
    #4
    Support is different for different people
    Support is a very subjective word. We all have different needs and are able to give differently. We have different experiences that we can pass on and those different experience can be helpful for someone perhaps.

    I remember being told that Hubby was not supporting me and he was a 'jerk' (and other things). He did not go to my appts, chemo or rads so according to some that makes him unsupportive and uncaring - WRONG! Certainly some would feel that way - correctly for them. But that is not for all. Hubby would have gone and done anything for me and did everything (and more) that I asked for. But for me, it was 'right' to take myself to all appts, chemo and rads - it 'empowered' ME to be the very independant person I have always been - a little bit of 'normal'.

    We are each unique as are our loved ones.

    Winyan - The Powwer Within

    Susan
  • Noel
    Noel Member Posts: 3,095 Member
    #5
    MAJW said:

    Having...
    Having a supportive spouse makes all the difference....I happen to have a wonderfully, supportive husband...he's been to EVERY appointment, chemo, 3 rads, etc.... We have friends who have offered to take me and his answer is always, no...He has been my rock, these past 3 years...we celebrated our 43rd anniversary, yesterday....high school sweethearts...I always tell him, he took his vows to heart...in sickness and in health...

    I wish all our pink sisters had the support he has given me..I am so grateful and blessed...
    Hugs, Nancy

    I am so blessed as my
    I am so blessed as my husband did and still does go with me for every doctor's appointment, test, consultation..everything. I don't know how I would have gotten through all of this without him. He is my everything! Even if I had told him not to go, I know he wouldn't have listened. lol

    I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have him by my side all of these years and praying we have many, many more. He truly is my best friend, besides being my husband.

    Noel
  • salls41
    salls41 Member Posts: 340
    #6
    I too am blessed
    while he has not ALWAYS been the nicest guy or the most supportive, I can say when I said the words "I have cancer', he grabbed me, hugged me and said "it will be okay, we will get through this together". And he has been my rock since day 1. I know how blessed I am and how thankful too. Thank you all for letting me have the opportunity to tell you!
    {{{Hugs}}}
    Sandy
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #7
    Rague said:

    Support is different for different people
    Support is a very subjective word. We all have different needs and are able to give differently. We have different experiences that we can pass on and those different experience can be helpful for someone perhaps.

    I remember being told that Hubby was not supporting me and he was a 'jerk' (and other things). He did not go to my appts, chemo or rads so according to some that makes him unsupportive and uncaring - WRONG! Certainly some would feel that way - correctly for them. But that is not for all. Hubby would have gone and done anything for me and did everything (and more) that I asked for. But for me, it was 'right' to take myself to all appts, chemo and rads - it 'empowered' ME to be the very independant person I have always been - a little bit of 'normal'.

    We are each unique as are our loved ones.

    Winyan - The Powwer Within

    Susan

    I agree
    hubby does not go to every appointment, procedure, etc with me. But if I want him to, he is willing! And that is the support *I* need.

    Maureen
  • RE
    RE Member Posts: 4,591 Member
    #8
    Nice thread
    My Guy has always been my ROCK! He has held me up and made sure he kept the fight in me, he held me when I needed holding, he made sure I had all the meds I was supposed to have, he made sure I ate something, he has sat through a ton of doctor appointments and surgeries always there never complaining he is my ROCK! He made sure that on my up week (for me was always my third week after chemo) that he planned something fun to do, it could be simple but it would be fun and something to look forward to. I am very blessed!

    Hugs to all,

    RE
  • carkris
    carkris Member Posts: 4,553 Member
    #9
    RE said:

    Nice thread
    My Guy has always been my ROCK! He has held me up and made sure he kept the fight in me, he held me when I needed holding, he made sure I had all the meds I was supposed to have, he made sure I ate something, he has sat through a ton of doctor appointments and surgeries always there never complaining he is my ROCK! He made sure that on my up week (for me was always my third week after chemo) that he planned something fun to do, it could be simple but it would be fun and something to look forward to. I am very blessed!

    Hugs to all,

    RE

    My husband and I are best
    My husband and I are best friends, however he can drive me totally nuts. he has a very linear way of looking at life that makes me crazy. sometimes I wonder because so many people have relationships where they get along perfectly. Anyway, I was terribly sick during chemo and needed to rely on him for everything. very humbling. ever once did he complain about my physical appearance, how this affected him. he had to wrap my chest, stay home becasue I was too ill to be by myself. he took me to everything because I couldnt drive. I am a very independent person too. He also had to take over the running of the house, driving my daughter to school. etc... He was my rock.Ihave been dealing with his since 1994, he has never complained. I feel fortunate (most times) to have him. He also doesnt get it when I tell him how guys leave, and always tells me he would marry me again, (I tell him he is crazy). I got the bargain I think,
  • EveningStar2
    EveningStar2 Member Posts: 491 Member
    #10
    carkris said:

    My husband and I are best
    My husband and I are best friends, however he can drive me totally nuts. he has a very linear way of looking at life that makes me crazy. sometimes I wonder because so many people have relationships where they get along perfectly. Anyway, I was terribly sick during chemo and needed to rely on him for everything. very humbling. ever once did he complain about my physical appearance, how this affected him. he had to wrap my chest, stay home becasue I was too ill to be by myself. he took me to everything because I couldnt drive. I am a very independent person too. He also had to take over the running of the house, driving my daughter to school. etc... He was my rock.Ihave been dealing with his since 1994, he has never complained. I feel fortunate (most times) to have him. He also doesnt get it when I tell him how guys leave, and always tells me he would marry me again, (I tell him he is crazy). I got the bargain I think,

    aaaaawwwweeee
    he sounds like a sweetheart! And nobody is wonderful 100% of the time. I love mine dearly but there are times...

    Maureen
  • laughs_a_lot
    laughs_a_lot Member Posts: 1,368 Member
    #11
    My husband
    knew I was waiting to the results of the biopsy. I was out at one of my other endeavors when I recieved the call that it was cancer. I called him up on the phone and asked in a very cheery voice, "How would you like to have a one boobed wife"? He did not respond right away but when I got home later I asked him again and he said, "It ain't gonna make any difference at all." Win win for me.
  • MsGebby
    MsGebby Member Posts: 659
    #12
    this is a tough topic for me
    I can't say that hubby has been as supportive "as I would like". Having said that, he does things his own way. He is always checking to make sure I take all meds and vitamins and gets irritated that I don't eat. At least, not the way he would feel better about. There was a day when I was so tired going to radiation and I asked him (on his day off) if he could come along. That I really needed him. He reacted in such a way that it made me feel so alone. I yelled at him that I didn't him for this anyway and stormed out the door. Of course, he was right behind me. It's just that I never ask for help and it was the one time I truly needed it. I think that day changed the way we go about my illness. He is more attentive but the hard part is over. He is overwhelmed at times and I know that. I need to be more supportive of him too. He is the one bringing home the bacon and can't really afford to take many days off. I get that. I guess the support I need is for him to just listen and not get frustrated with me.

    My family is the biggest let down of all. I've practically disowned them. My sister is the only one (out of 9 siblings) that has paid any attention to this matter. She is my only sister and we have always been close. That helps. My dad is very scared for me so I try not to let him know much. None of the other 7 siblings know that I am facing a possible second cancer. I can't tell them. I will only get hurt when they turn the other ear. It is so sad to me. I would do anything for them, anytime! I guess dysfunctional describes my family unit.

    The best thing I could do was to surround myself with friends who are now my family. I feel so much love and support for a close knit group of about 35. AND... how can I forget my new family known as the PINKS.

    Honestly, I feel blessed with all that I have. My husband and I will be together forever. Cancer or not. He loves me and I know it. There is no way in hell I will those who don't give a damn about me bring me down. They are the ones who will have to deal with how they handled this should my demise happen along sooner rather than later.

    Let's not go there ..................

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